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I really need to accept that I have cPTSD.

BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,067
I’m taking viorxetine for PTSD. It’s been helping a lot. But I’m not a doctor so I’m not saying you should take it. Just my personal experience.
I've considered taking that for my depression. Good to know it helps with PTSD too. Thanks :)
 
F

Fedrea

Wise
Joined
May 14, 2020
Messages
294
I've talked about it before, but I don't think I really believe I have it. I don't want to believe I have it. I feel like it's just an excuse for me to blame other people for my problems, even though I was literally diagnosed with it. I feel like I'm making excuses for myself when in reality I'm just weak.

How did you guys learn to accept a difficult diagnosis?
Is it ok to ask what symptoms you get from cptsd?

I believe there is a school of thought that says that the majority of mental illness is a response to trauma I.e. a response to what happened to people rather than being intrinsic
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,067
Is it ok to ask what symptoms you get from cptsd?

I believe there is a school of thought that says that the majority of mental illness is a response to trauma I.e. a response to what happened to people rather than being intrinsic
Sure. I get nightmares. I also get emotional flashbacks, dissociation.... I've also heard that toxic shame and a harsh inner critic are symptoms of cptsd.

Yeah, tbh the trauma reponse makes sense. Some would argue that my anxiety and depression are the result of trauma.
 
S

sufferingalways

Veteran
Joined
Apr 26, 2020
Messages
158
True. Symptoms don't make up my identity. But are they really symptoms, or just a character flaw? It's frustrating constantly worrying about shit that really doesn't matter
Hi I am suffering from c-ptsd as well. It’s a complete bastard! You have a right to feel weak, I feel all kinds of crappy.
Doesn’t help that I was on track to getting somewhere called Healing then was abused all over again FFS, this time by my social landlord who takes delight in attacking the disabled. They even take homeless people to court. Anyway, enough of my stuff.
Sending you a hug because this shit drags us through the gutter.
Sure. I get nightmares. I also get emotional flashbacks, dissociation.... I've also heard that toxic shame and a harsh inner critic are symptoms of cptsd.

Yeah, tbh the trauma reponse makes sense. Some would argue that my anxiety and depression are the result of trauma.
Its like im looking in a mirror to read what happens to you. Sorry to hear you suffer with it too. Its horrible, its like a prison in ones own mind. Inflicted by sadistic... (deep breath .. need to take a time out.
 
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BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,067
Hi I am suffering from c-ptsd as well. It’s a complete bastard! You have a right to feel weak, I feel all kinds of crappy.
Doesn’t help that I was on track to getting somewhere called Healing then was abused all over again FFS, this time by my social landlord who takes delight in attacking the disabled. They even take homeless people to court. Anyway, enough of my stuff.
Sending you a hug because this shit drags us through the gutter.


Its like im looking in a mirror to read what happens to you. Sorry to hear you suffer with it too. Its horrible, its like a prison in ones own mind. Inflicted by sadistic... (deep breath .. need to take a time out.
Your landlord sounds like an ass, I'm sorry. At least we're not alone with cptsd. Your landlord comment reminded me that I do avoid some triggers and feel irrationally afraid and emotional with triggers/situations. Sending hugs.
 
S

sufferingalways

Veteran
Joined
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Messages
158
Your landlord sounds like an ass, I'm sorry. At least we're not alone with cptsd. Your landlord comment reminded me that I do avoid some triggers and feel irrationally afraid and emotional with triggers/situations. Sending hugs.
They are. Look up Civil servant jokes .. these people are just spot on.. at their worst. The former chief executive was paid 121 grand a year .. and he was a lazy ass. Theres a new one there now. No idea if hes any better.

The council reputation is so bad that when my housemate approached a trades person recently.. when he mentioned the council the other person said “taking them to court is the only way to get them to do anything. “
The council are a housing provider (local government) amd they provide housing specifically for the more disadvantaged.. and this is how they treat their residents .. it’s sickening. Well we will have the last laugh if our up coming legal case end up putting them in the statute books. I know, its a fantasy. All their shitty letters denying disabled peoples rights, saying the law doesn’t apply to us because we have “unusual sensitivities..” would become Public property, that would be interesting!

Im sure we aren’t the only ones hated on by the bullies at the council. Sadly councils all over england and uk generally are crappy. It’s nothing new.
Back to your other message ..how cptsd affects you. I really feel for you. Wish i was stronger, sleeping etc, we could DM, thrash out some pains with a cathartic DM chat, but im so wiped out. Sending Biggest Hugs
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,067
They are. Look up Civil servant jokes .. these people are just spot on.. at their worst. The former chief executive was paid 121 grand a year .. and he was a lazy ass. Theres a new one there now. No idea if hes any better.

The council reputation is so bad that when my housemate approached a trades person recently.. when he mentioned the council the other person said “taking them to court is the only way to get them to do anything. “
The council are a housing provider (local government) amd they provide housing specifically for the more disadvantaged.. and this is how they treat their residents .. it’s sickening. Well we will have the last laugh if our up coming legal case end up putting them in the statute books. I know, its a fantasy. All their shitty letters denying disabled peoples rights, saying the law doesn’t apply to us because we have “unusual sensitivities..” would become Public property, that would be interesting!

Im sure we aren’t the only ones hated on by the bullies at the council. Sadly councils all over england and uk generally are crappy. It’s nothing new.
Back to your other message ..how cptsd affects you. I really feel for you. Wish i was stronger, sleeping etc, we could DM, thrash out some pains with a cathartic DM chat, but im so wiped out. Sending Biggest Hugs
It's alright. What a horrible situation, and shame on them. We're human beings and deserve basic respect. Makes me grateful I'm with my parents.
 
Raven Moon

Raven Moon

See my heart I decorate it like a grave
Joined
Feb 14, 2019
Messages
1,080
I have cptsd. It's hard to accept it for me because in my case I was unmercifully abused through many years of life and I'm just here picking up the pieces of my life that someone else destroyed. Sadly I'm treatment resistant too. I wish there were cures. I often feel hopeless no doctors seem to understand ptsd and society says "just get over it"...yeah I wish it was that easy. Sending hugs.
 
T

tidalwxves

Member
Joined
Sep 8, 2020
Messages
74
I've talked about it before, but I don't think I really believe I have it. I don't want to believe I have it. I feel like it's just an excuse for me to blame other people for my problems, even though I was literally diagnosed with it. I feel like I'm making excuses for myself when in reality I'm just weak.

How did you guys learn to accept a difficult diagnosis?
I think it's about perspective, instead of seeing it as blaming other people for your problems try seeing it as recognizing something hurt you. You are allowed to be hurt, even traumatized, that doesn't make you weak. Recognize that even though we have autonomy and agency, external factors outside of our control can hurt us, its just about trying to manage them with what you can control
 
S

sufferingalways

Veteran
Joined
Apr 26, 2020
Messages
158
I think it's about perspective, instead of seeing it as blaming other people for your problems try seeing it as recognizing something hurt you. You are allowed to be hurt, even traumatized, that doesn't make you weak. Recognize that even though we have autonomy and agency, external factors outside of our control can hurt us, its just about trying to manage them with what you can control
Hi that's really helpful, thank you.
 
angel-of-the-night

angel-of-the-night

Death is a black camel that kneels at every door.
Joined
Feb 2, 2020
Messages
131
I relate to you very much. Both my psychiatrist and current therapist said I'm dealing with complex post trauma. I'm getting re-evaluated soon so I'm interested to see what they say.

I often feel like nothing I experienced is real and it's all in my head. And all the pain I feel is brought on by my interpretation of events that didn't really happen that way...did they?
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,067
I relate to you very much. Both my psychiatrist and current therapist said I'm dealing with complex post trauma. I'm getting re-evaluated soon so I'm interested to see what they say.

I often feel like nothing I experienced is real and it's all in my head. And all the pain I feel is brought on by my interpretation of events that didn't really happen that way...did they?
Yes, that's how I feel too. I don't remember much of anything, which is normal with trauma (traumatic memories are actually stored differently), and what I do remember... I feel like I'm exaggerating and it's my fault. People I've talked to about it say that it was all abuse and not my fault, but...well, I blame myself all the time, as some people here have seen. Lol.

Sorry. I think I kinda hijacked what you were saying. :/
 
angel-of-the-night

angel-of-the-night

Death is a black camel that kneels at every door.
Joined
Feb 2, 2020
Messages
131
Yes, that's how I feel too. I don't remember much of anything, which is normal with trauma (traumatic memories are actually stored differently), and what I do remember... I feel like I'm exaggerating and it's my fault. People I've talked to about it say that it was all abuse and not my fault, but...well, I blame myself all the time, as some people here have seen. Lol.

Sorry. I think I kinda hijacked what you were saying. :/
No need to apologise! Sharing your experiences helps me understand myself a little more as well, since we're going through something kind of similar :hug:
 
Sorrowrity

Sorrowrity

Member
Joined
May 22, 2019
Messages
56
Not believing you have cptsd is a symptom of it. It's what the brain does to protect you. Even after years of knowing, it can still feel unreal sometimes, completely normal. I hope you guys are getting the helps needed.
 
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BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,067
Not believing you have cptsd is a symptom of it. It's what the brain does to protect you. Even after years of knowing, it can still feel unreal sometimes, completely normal. I hope you guys are getting the helps needed.
Imposter syndrome is a cruel little b.
 
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