Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide!

By registering with us, you'll be able to discuss, share and private message with other members of our community.

Sign Up Now!

I really need to accept that I have cPTSD.

BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,348
I've talked about it before, but I don't think I really believe I have it. I don't want to believe I have it. I feel like it's just an excuse for me to blame other people for my problems, even though I was literally diagnosed with it. I feel like I'm making excuses for myself when in reality I'm just weak.

How did you guys learn to accept a difficult diagnosis?
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Joined
Sep 4, 2019
Messages
3,976
True. Symptoms don't make up my identity. But are they really symptoms, or just a character flaw? It's frustrating constantly worrying about shit that really doesn't matter
Have you been talking to a therapist about this?
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,348
Have you been talking to a therapist about this?
Nope. The only thing the therapist ever wants to talk about is my parents...and journaling. Not the ptsd, not managing my so called "severe" depression. Just those two things. Argh.
 
muffin222

muffin222

Arcanist
Joined
Mar 31, 2020
Messages
593
As a fellow PTSD sufferer, something that helped me to accept it was recognizing that PTSD is a normal, understandable reaction to an abnormally stressful and traumatic situation. With PTSD, the brain gets ambushed with something (or, in the case of c-PTSD, multiple "somethings") that it cannot process or make sense of in the moment. So, in order to preserve the psyche and allow for day-to-day functioning to continue, the brain essentially blocks the trauma from integrating fully into the person's conscious mind as it normally would for any other experience.


This makes perfect sense in the immediate aftermath of the trauma because it allows us to continue functioning in the face of unbearable trauma and shock. Sadly, the brain doesn't anticipate that blocking the trauma from integrating in the moment will actually create greater harm in the future because the traumatic symptoms will continue to intrude upon the person in their day-to-day life long after the trauma has occurred.

So, what initially serves as a protective mechanism to allow us to preserve our sanity in the moment ends up generating more suffering in the long term. It's not your fault. The mind knows what it can and cannot handle, and it made the split second decision for you to block the trauma from fully integrating into your conscious mind when it occurred, 100% without your awareness. There's nothing you could have done to prevent the c-PTSD from developing.

I'm sorry you're going through this- it's such a painful disease to grapple with everyday :aw:
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,348
As a fellow PTSD sufferer, something that helped me to accept it was recognizing that PTSD is a normal, understandable reaction to an abnormally stressful and traumatic situation. With PTSD, the brain gets ambushed with something (or, in the case of c-PTSD, multiple "somethings") that it cannot process or make sense of in the moment. So, in order to preserve the psyche and allow for day-to-day functioning to continue, the brain essentially blocks the trauma from integrating fully into the person's conscious mind as it normally would for any other experience.


This makes perfect sense in the immediate aftermath of the trauma because it allows us to continue functioning in the face of unbearable trauma and shock. Sadly, the brain doesn't anticipate that blocking the trauma from integrating in the moment will actually create greater harm in the future because the traumatic symptoms will continue to intrude upon the person in their day-to-day life long after the trauma has occurred.

So, what initially serves as a protective mechanism to allow us to preserve our sanity in the moment ends up generating more suffering in the long term. It's not your fault. The mind knows what it can and cannot handle, and it made the split second decision for you to block the trauma from fully integrating into your conscious mind when it occurred, 100% without your awareness. There's nothing you could have done to prevent the c-PTSD from developing.

I'm sorry you're going through this- it's such a painful disease to grapple with everyday :aw:
Thank you. I wish I had more to say, but thanks for such a thoughtful comment. It sucks but...meh. :/
 
T

TheQ22

Enlightened
Joined
Aug 17, 2020
Messages
812
You ever read the book from suviving to thriving about cPTSD by Pete Walker?

It's very helpful.
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,348
You ever read the book from suviving to thriving about cPTSD by Pete Walker?

It's very helpful.
I actually have it in my room. I've thumbed through it, but haven't read it yet.
 
mr.smileysad

mr.smileysad

Veteran
Joined
Aug 29, 2020
Messages
111
PTSD shouldnt define who you are I barely consider it a disorder just a natural reaction to something same for cPTSD
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,348
PTSD shouldnt define who you are I barely consider it a disorder just a natural reaction to something same for cPTSD
That is pretty much what it is, in a sense. A series of longterm reactions in your body/mind due to trauma. But I often don't feel like I "deserve" the label
 
cryptic__egg

cryptic__egg

Illuminated
Joined
May 9, 2020
Messages
1,606
Talk to people about it and explain how it affects you if possible. When you outwardly explain it to someone it can help you realize how real it is and how serious its effects are. When things are just in your head kept to yourself it's easy to warp them.
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,348
Talk to people about it and explain how it affects you if possible. When you outwardly explain it to someone it can help you realize how real it is and how serious its effects are. When things are just in your head kept to yourself it's easy to warp them.
I've talked to my close friends about it. Still feel like I'm just making everything up :/ sorry
 
N

noaccount

Specialist
Joined
Oct 26, 2019
Messages
304
You don't need to use the label if you don't want to, but if you feel like "character flaw" is the only alternative way to look at it, have you considered whether you agree with the morality that would call your suffering a "flaw" in the first place?
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,348
You don't need to use the label if you don't want to, but if you feel like "character flaw" is the only alternative way to look at it, have you considered whether you agree with the morality that would call your suffering a "flaw" in the first place?
Could you rephrase that? I'm sorry, I don't understand the last part.
 
N

noaccount

Specialist
Joined
Oct 26, 2019
Messages
304
Why would these things be a "flaw" about you? Even if it "wasn't ptsd," is that a value judgement that you'd agree with?
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,348
Why would these things be a "flaw" about you? Even if it "wasn't ptsd," is that a value judgement that you'd agree with?
I don't think it's a flaw per se... just having to acknowledge that I've been through trauma and I'm not a liar. That it's actually affected me and I'm not making things up for attention.
 
N

netrezven

Wise
Joined
Dec 13, 2018
Messages
219
I’m sure I have ptsd, because I’m still alive and didn’t get a heart attack, few pass outs I did. I did this to myself and it’s no ones fault. I accept this very calm. I do have bipolar and don’t consider it as a weakness/at the moment/, love the mania. And I have osdd/1b wich should make things look hopeless, but I feel exactly the opposite /again at the moment/. Hate depression, suicidal Switches and flashbacks, at least i found a way to make it excitement and fun most of the time.
 
RC90

RC90

-
Joined
Sep 13, 2020
Messages
303
I've talked about it before, but I don't think I really believe I have it. I don't want to believe I have it. I feel like it's just an excuse for me to blame other people for my problems, even though I was literally diagnosed with it. I feel like I'm making excuses for myself when in reality I'm just weak.

How did you guys learn to accept a difficult diagnosis?
I’m taking viorxetine for PTSD. It’s been helping a lot. But I’m not a doctor so I’m not saying you should take it. Just my personal experience.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
P Story Is recovery really possible? Recovery 9
Z Help Need Therapy, Not Sure Where to Look Recovery 3
puppy9 Help Chronic Emptiness (Need Help!!!) Recovery 5

Similar threads

Top