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I feel bad for not having many friends

DeathIsTheWayOut99

DeathIsTheWayOut99

Wizard
Joined
Jun 7, 2020
Messages
617
Thanks to constant abuse and trust issues, I find it very hard ot make friends. I just assume everyone will abuse me and hate me and still have suicide as a last minute back up in case things dont get better

I just feel bad for not doing much when deep down I wanted to. But I am always so afraid of being hurt sometimes I'd rather die than try
 
Good4Nothing

Good4Nothing

Unlovable
Joined
May 8, 2020
Messages
507
Me too. Though I'm not so much afraid of being hurt as I'm just such a weirdo that no one understands me. Plus I'm so chronically depressed, who needs a depressed person in their life?
 
DeathIsTheWayOut99

DeathIsTheWayOut99

Wizard
Joined
Jun 7, 2020
Messages
617
Me too. Though I'm not so much afraid of being hurt as I'm just such a weirdo that no one understands me. Plus I'm so chronically depressed, who needs a depressed person in their life?
I feel this. like "oh your depressed I dont want you around" I just feel bad for not putting in more effort and I feel like a failure. Like I dunno I wish I was a more energetic 22 year old
 
deadgirlahsatan

deadgirlahsatan

Specialist
Joined
Jun 5, 2020
Messages
319
Yea i agree with massivenblackhole. Making friends is so damn hard. I have major trust issues as well. I was bullied a lot. Makes me fear people. Also have social anxiety.
I have none irl. Just a few online. Making animal friends is easier for sure.i never had a hard time making animal friends. :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :hug: :hug: :hug: :happy: :happy:
 
shy

shy

Member
Joined
Aug 23, 2020
Messages
31
Making friends is hard, feeling bad/being ashamed of not having any makes it even harder. It’s the same for me, I don’t feel I can trust anyone. A shame really, there has to be some nice people, similar to the ones on here outside in the real world.
Like I dunno I wish I was a more energetic 22 year old
That line hits close to home; I’m always thinking the same thing. I’m pretty sure that’s the mindset that makes me unable to make new friends in the first place. You’re a really nice person, I think there are a lot of people who would love to be your friend.
 
pannazidofski

pannazidofski

Veteran
Joined
Aug 31, 2020
Messages
130
Friends arent worth the effort. In my experience I only have one good time with them since its the first time, and every time after its too stressful and painful. worrying about them being bored, not knowing what to say, constantly having them wanting to hang out. I know that im happier alone but my emotions wont accept that and it drives me nuts.
 
flatearth

flatearth

dot
Joined
Aug 27, 2020
Messages
30
making friends is hard, don't beat yourself up about it :(
if it makes you feel any better, you aren't alone. I feel like that a lot of the time too
p.s. your icon made me want to start watching erased! :hug: it is very good so far, thank you
 
M

mapletree

Veteran
Joined
Aug 22, 2020
Messages
163
The cost/benefit of having any relationships besides the ones with my immediate family don’t seem worth it. Anything beyond acquaintances seems to cause more pain than happiness in the long run. So I’ve stopped looking for relationships and am just hanging out I guess until I bite the dust

There are some things in this life that I have accepted that I cannot have. It’s a mourning process. I’ve realized at this point I won’t be able to really build serious relationships with people or a family. It sucks but it is what it is. It really is a process of grieving and acceptance, although not having any relationships with people makes me feel less invested in staying here in a metaphysical sense.
 
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