I can’t function anymore

  • Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness, suicide, and the moral implications of the act itself. We do not encourage or aid suicide, the information offered is for educational purposes only. For more information read our FAQ.
    For immediate help, consider calling the Samaritan's hotline: (877) 870-4673. Be aware they may call emergency services if they believe you are at imminent risk of death. We also have a recovery subforum if you wish to get support.
    You can close this box by clicking the top right "X".
HGL91

HGL91

Elementalist
Jul 2, 2019
722
1,663
Utah
I am probably generally a healthy 27 year old. Just tired of working hard, having headaches, body aches, and feeling sleepy, depressed and nauseated all the time.

Until my mid-20s, I still had hope I could somehow find joy in life even though I have struggled to for most of my life. I thought maybe if I just worked a little harder, actively thought more positively and balanced work with friendships, romantic relationship, and finances, and worked out and ate healthy, I’d be happy. Nope. Just stressed trying to balance everything. So tired of heart palpitations and panic attacks. So tired of feeling that if I just stop for a moment, I’ll fall behind and ruin my life. I just want to die. I’m tired.
 
HGL91

HGL91

Elementalist
Jul 2, 2019
722
1,663
Utah
Thank you all for the support. It felt good to get that off my chest. I really have no where else to express that except in my head.
 
  • Like
  • Hug
Reactions: Soul and Going Home
Hasssssuùuu

Hasssssuùuu

we cant escape what keeps us dreaming.
Sep 18, 2018
624
1,821
20
i know how it feels to keep things to yourself. Keeping things in will make you go insane. its better to vent and talk about these things with others. if you ever need someone to just vent to, im a good listener.

Take care and hope you feel better.
 
Laststop

Laststop

Wise
Jul 9, 2019
238
454
Hi. New member. That's why I don't talk to other people about how I feel. They'd most likely "turn me in" anyway. But the average person just doesn't understand how most of us feel here. Their attitude is "get over it." I'm so happy to be here to have people to talk to now, and explain how I feel. like you have HGL91. I hope you find whatever it is that's best for you.
 
Nem

Nem

Damn!
Sep 3, 2018
538
1,609
I hear you. I am also having an incredibly tough time functioning after having a severe medication reaction a few years ago, I’m nearing the end and I think my days are numbered
Peace/hugs
 
HGL91

HGL91

Elementalist
Jul 2, 2019
722
1,663
Utah
I'm 45, tired of the abuse from boyfriend due to his drinking, and I'm ready to go enough is enough eventually fuck it
I can empathize. My ex-boyfriend was very abusive. If it wasn’t for family rescuing me, I’d probably have killed myself by now.

Is there a reason you are still with him? Do you live together?
I hear you. I am also having an incredibly tough time functioning after having a severe medication reaction a few years ago, I’m nearing the end and I think my days are numbered
Peace/hugs
What medication and what was the reaction? :(

I can kind of relate. I’ve been on antidepressants since I was 11 and I’ve had such a hard time with them. So many side effects. And now that I’m older and have even more responsibilities and less of a support system, it’s even harder to deal with the side effects because there’s even more pressure to “be strong” all the time around people.
i know how it feels to keep things to yourself. Keeping things in will make you go insane. its better to vent and talk about these things with others. if you ever need someone to just vent to, im a good listener.

Take care and hope you feel better.
Thank you! I agree. Keeping it in really can make a person go insane. Although, I’m probably already at that point.

I used to be such an easygoing person, but now I’m so bitter, so I feel pressure to externally express how I used to be, when inside, I feel like a completely different person that I don’t even like anymore.

I’m tired of people screwing me over. Insurance companies, pharmacies, doctors, ‘friends’, employers, ex-boyfriends.

Honestly, releasing the truth of what I truly think on this forum and people responding “Yeah! I get you!”, and sharing their similar story is the ONE thing that gives me an it’s bitsy sense of relief and joy because then I don’t feel completely isolated in this world.
 
Last edited:
HGL91

HGL91

Elementalist
Jul 2, 2019
722
1,663
Utah
Hi. New member. That's why I don't talk to other people about how I feel. They'd most likely "turn me in" anyway. But the average person just doesn't understand how most of us feel here. Their attitude is "get over it." I'm so happy to be here to have people to talk to now, and explain how I feel. like you have HGL91. I hope you find whatever it is that's best for you.
Yeah, most people just don’t understand. Today, I’ve gone back n forth from feeling super anxious to feeling dead inside.
 
not_a_robot

not_a_robot

"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
May 30, 2019
2,156
6,319
I'm 45, tired of the abuse from boyfriend due to his drinking, and I'm ready to go enough is enough eventually fuck it
Have you considered just putting the abusive boyfriend on the Bus?
 
  • Like
Reactions: NoDream
Bulletwbttrflywings

Bulletwbttrflywings

I just want to go....
May 29, 2019
237
759
I am probably generally a healthy 27 year old. Just tired of working hard, having headaches, body aches, and feeling sleepy, depressed and nauseated all the time.

Until my mid-20s, I still had hope I could somehow find joy in life even though I have struggled to for most of my life. I thought maybe if I just worked a little harder, actively thought more positively and balanced work with friendships, romantic relationship, and finances, and worked out and ate healthy, I’d be happy. Nope. Just stressed trying to balance everything. So tired of heart palpitations and panic attacks. So tired of feeling that if I just stop for a moment, I’ll fall behind and ruin my life. I just want to die. I’m tired.
I’m tired too. You’re definitely not alone.

Hugs.
 
  • Hug
Reactions: HGL91
D

Dead beat dad

Arcanist
Mar 5, 2019
565
1,858
I am probably generally a healthy 27 year old. Just tired of working hard, having headaches, body aches, and feeling sleepy, depressed and nauseated all the time.

Until my mid-20s, I still had hope I could somehow find joy in life even though I have struggled to for most of my life. I thought maybe if I just worked a little harder, actively thought more positively and balanced work with friendships, romantic relationship, and finances, and worked out and ate healthy, I’d be happy. Nope. Just stressed trying to balance everything. So tired of heart palpitations and panic attacks. So tired of feeling that if I just stop for a moment, I’ll fall behind and ruin my life. I just want to die. I’m tired.
Alas I have nothing useful to add that may assuage the difficulties you face.
However your lament if tiredness is one I and I expect many others can relate to.
I feel it's like spinning plates. You don't get to choose the number of plates, the speed they spin or when new ones are added (and they only get added and they only get faster). Occasionally, very occasionally, it will stay still for a very short while, and then life goes; 'here have some more plates, oh and by the way the ones you're working yourself to breaking point to spin? Yeah spin them a bit faster. Here's a cookie be grateful, now get spinning'
I'm sorry for your pain friend, honestly and sincerely feel your pain. I really hope you can find some light in this sea of dark and maybe by venting your spleen here it will provide some respite.
DBD
 
  • Like
Reactions: HGL91
HGL91

HGL91

Elementalist
Jul 2, 2019
722
1,663
Utah
Alas I have nothing useful to add that may assuage the difficulties you face.
However your lament if tiredness is one I and I expect many others can relate to.
I feel it's like spinning plates. You don't get to choose the number of plates, the speed they spin or when new ones are added (and they only get added and they only get faster). Occasionally, very occasionally, it will stay still for a very short while, and then life goes; 'here have some more plates, oh and by the way the ones you're working yourself to breaking point to spin? Yeah spin them a bit faster. Here's a cookie be grateful, now get spinning'
I'm sorry for your pain friend, honestly and sincerely feel your pain. I really hope you can find some light in this sea of dark and maybe by venting your spleen here it will provide some respite.
DBD
Thanks for the empathy. And that is a very good analogy. I was a professional at “spinning plates for the past few years”. Now I’m at the point I just want to purposely drop them and break them because I can’t take it anymore.

But of course the consequence of doing that would be life-destroying, so that’s why I feel relief from thinking about dying instead.
 
J

JoeFailure

Master
Apr 29, 2019
442
1,171
I am probably generally a healthy 27 year old. Just tired of working hard, having headaches, body aches, and feeling sleepy, depressed and nauseated all the time.

Until my mid-20s, I still had hope I could somehow find joy in life even though I have struggled to for most of my life. I thought maybe if I just worked a little harder, actively thought more positively and balanced work with friendships, romantic relationship, and finances, and worked out and ate healthy, I’d be happy. Nope. Just stressed trying to balance everything. So tired of heart palpitations and panic attacks. So tired of feeling that if I just stop for a moment, I’ll fall behind and ruin my life. I just want to die. I’m tired.
Sorry to hear about that. My ADHD and constant anxiety is making it hard for me to hold a decent job.

I'm glad you at least have things figured out. Maybe a different job or something could help?
 
GeorgeJL

GeorgeJL

Mod
Mar 7, 2019
1,677
2,345
I am probably generally a healthy 27 year old. Just tired of working hard, having headaches, body aches, and feeling sleepy, depressed and nauseated all the time.

Until my mid-20s, I still had hope I could somehow find joy in life even though I have struggled to for most of my life. I thought maybe if I just worked a little harder, actively thought more positively and balanced work with friendships, romantic relationship, and finances, and worked out and ate healthy, I’d be happy. Nope. Just stressed trying to balance everything. So tired of heart palpitations and panic attacks. So tired of feeling that if I just stop for a moment, I’ll fall behind and ruin my life. I just want to die. I’m tired.
What have you used to try to get better with so far?
 
HGL91

HGL91

Elementalist
Jul 2, 2019
722
1,663
Utah
What have you used to try to get better with so far?
Been on antidepressants since I was 11, I’ve seen therapists on and off over the years, did both inpatient and outpatient in 2014, went to church during periods of my life, practiced yoga, focused on eating a healthy diet when I was able to afford it, moved away from my home city to have a fresh start, used Meetup.com to make friends during adulthood, worked happy jobs, worked hard yet good paying jobs...

I just feel like I’ve lived as long as I can handle. I’m planning to CTB this week when I have enough time alone at the house.
Sorry to hear about that. My ADHD and constant anxiety is making it hard for me to hold a decent job.

I'm glad you at least have things figured out. Maybe a different job or something could help?
Had things figured out. Not anymore. Life has a way of kicking a person down even when they work their ass off. I just want to contribute to this forum a bit until I CTB sometime this week. I have my method of choice. Just need enough time alone at
home.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Egddios

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)