[Story] I accidentally survived SN

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rntmss

rntmss

Taking it one day at a time
Feb 7, 2020
181
319
I’m going to star this off with: You have no reason to believe me. I’m just a person on the internet.
I also am not encouraging anyone to CTB with any method. This is just my report from coming back from the brink of death.

A few days ago, I got my cup ready with 25g of SN and started to drink it. No AE, just tums. After a couple gulps, SI kicked in and I realized that I wasn’t ready. Dumped the rest of the cup (was a whole lot still in there) and went to the bathroom. At this point, I figured that I didn’t take enough of it and I could sleep it off. I wasn’t feeling anything after about 10 mins so I though I’d be ok.

Absolutely wrong. While sitting on the toilet, I started to feel my pulse in my head. Like BOOM BOOM BOOM. I got up from the toilet and the whole apartment started spinning. I was sweating like crazy. I thought I could make it to my bed...i didn’t even make it past the living room. I don’t remember anything past this. My roommate apparently found me and called 911. He heard me fall on the floor. I don't remember anything else. Just nothingness.

Regained consciousness a few hours later hooked up to multiple IV ports and a really loud Oxygen mask hooked up over my face.

I was given the Methyline Blue and came back shortly after it. Got a pretty grave report from the ER Doctor. Oxygen % was in the 50s and they weren't expecting me to come back. Had to go through hours of neurological and physical tests.

Strangely enough: SN didn't show up in my Urine or Blood results. I was out of the hospital a couple days later... I'm doing fine now. Not sure if I actually want to CTB now anyway, if I did... I would probably do this again and make sure I was somewhere secluded like a forest or a big park at night.

Summary:
No pain. No serious nausea. Just discomfort from sweating and not being able to hold my own body weight. It never dawned on me that I was dying.
Side effects: My muscles felt like I walked up 500 flights of stairs on my hands and knees. Felt like my entire muscles were filled with lactic acid.
 
Darkhaven

Darkhaven

Pain, Sorrow, Grief, Angst, Depression
May 19, 2019
866
2,042
There was another person in here that made a thread detailing an almost identical situation a week or so ago, if i'm not mistaken.
Didn't drink the whole thing and still collapsed right outside of the bathroom.
It really is lethal.
Thanks for sharing your story and have a safe and fast recovery!
 
H

HadEnough1974

I try to be funny...
Jan 14, 2020
384
759
If SN didn't show up in tests, how did they determine you had methemoglobinemia?
And thus administer the antidote? The blue stuff. Possibly, they didn’t tell the OP that they knew he tried to kill himself. Another possibility, they were overwhelmed with carona patients. Just my thoughts.
 
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HadEnough1974

I try to be funny...
Jan 14, 2020
384
759
And thus administer the antidote? The blue stuff. Possibly, they didn’t tell the OP that they knew he tried to kill himself. Another possibility, they were overwhelmed with carona patients. Just my thoughts.
Btw, I’m not questioning the authenticity of the OP. I’m glad you made a good recovery.

I’m just curious, you said you don’t think you want to ctb anymore, what changed?
 
rntmss

rntmss

Taking it one day at a time
Feb 7, 2020
181
319
Btw, I’m not questioning the authenticity of the OP. I’m glad you made a good recovery.

I’m just curious, you said you don’t think you want to ctb anymore, what changed?
The massive amount of outpouring of love from my coworkers who found out that I was in the hospital barely alive. My roommate called my boss and told them what was going on.
 
Quarky00

Quarky00

Illuminated
Dec 17, 2019
1,436
3,083
No pain. No serious nausea. Just discomfort from sweating and not being able to hold my own body weight.
And "BOOM BOOM BOOM" ;)

I hope you're doing okay .

Thanks for sharing all the details . It's tough . Appreciated .

I also hope people will read this carefully and won't freak out: "SN terrible horrible awful experience" .

:heart:


And thus administer the antidote? The blue stuff. Possibly, they didn’t tell the OP that they knew he tried to kill himself. Another possibility, they were overwhelmed with carona patients. Just my thoughts.
Methemoglobinemia is treated with methylene blue regardless of substance . They may have conclude 'accidental poisoning of unknown substance' and moved on .
Considering many recent reports , even if we regard some as unreliable , and even without SARS-2 , it appears healthcare systems (and particularly mental health) are collapsing and they just don't care . It's all about 'shipping them out' asap . I'm surprised they even bothered with neurological tests (cover their asses?).



I would like to emphasize this for all those considering "TRYING SN" or "TAKING A SIP" -- YOU MAY DIE:
There was another person in here that made a thread detailing an almost identical situation a week or so ago . . . Didn't drink the whole thing and still collapsed right outside of the bathroom. It really is lethal.
 
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NotMeantForHere

NotMeantForHere

I want to go like Marilyn Monroe
Feb 6, 2020
119
110
I’m going to star this off with: You have no reason to believe me. I’m just a person on the internet.
I also am not encouraging anyone to CTB with any method. This is just my report from coming back from the brink of death.

A few days ago, I got my cup ready with 25g of SN and started to drink it. No AE, just tums. After a couple gulps, SI kicked in and I realized that I wasn’t ready. Dumped the rest of the cup (was a whole lot still in there) and went to the bathroom. At this point, I figured that I didn’t take enough of it and I could sleep it off. I wasn’t feeling anything after about 10 mins so I though I’d be ok.

Absolutely wrong. While sitting on the toilet, I started to feel my pulse in my head. Like BOOM BOOM BOOM. I got up from the toilet and the whole apartment started spinning. I was sweating like crazy. I thought I could make it to my bed...i didn’t even make it past the living room. I don’t remember anything past this. My roommate apparently found me and called 911. He heard me fall on the floor. I don't remember anything else. Just nothingness.

Regained consciousness a few hours later hooked up to multiple IV ports and a really loud Oxygen mask hooked up over my face.

I was given the Methyline Blue and came back shortly after it. Got a pretty grave report from the ER Doctor. Oxygen % was in the 50s and they weren't expecting me to come back. Had to go through hours of neurological and physical tests.

Strangely enough: SN didn't show up in my Urine or Blood results. I was out of the hospital a couple days later... I'm doing fine now. Not sure if I actually want to CTB now anyway, if I did... I would probably do this again and make sure I was somewhere secluded like a forest or a big park at night.

Summary:
No pain. No serious nausea. Just discomfort from sweating and not being able to hold my own body weight. It never dawned on me that I was dying.
Side effects: My muscles felt like I walked up 500 flights of stairs on my hands and knees. Felt like my entire muscles were filled with lactic acid.
Wow. Thank you for this information. This is very useful!:smiling:
 
T

theguineapigking

Wise
Dec 5, 2019
270
413
Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m very glad that you’re ok now(as ok as can be). It’s amazing that your roommate and coworkers care so much! Not everyone is fortunate enough to have that.


Do you still feel suicidal at all? If not, is it due only to the love from your co workers? Or is it due to fear of going through that again?


Anyways, I’m very glad that you are doing better now! Hopefully you find something in life to enjoy.
 
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rntmss

rntmss

Taking it one day at a time
Feb 7, 2020
181
319
I'm surprised they even bothered with neurological tests (cover their asses?).
I think they were checking if I was able to walk properly before trying to discharge me. They seemed absolutely shocked that I didn't suffer any brain damage from the lack of oxygen for an extended period of time.
 
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HadEnough1974

I try to be funny...
Jan 14, 2020
384
759
The massive amount of outpouring of love from my coworkers who found out that I was in the hospital barely alive. My roommate called my boss and told them what was going on.
Is this outpouring of love something you had not felt before?
 
L

Loser

Member
Jun 21, 2019
47
61
From family? Yes... but it just felt different to feel it from people that had no biological connection with me whatsoever. It was just... nice. That's really the only way I can explain it.
I know exactly how you feel. I was hospitalized / almost died a few months ago (not from a suicide attempt though) and all my coworkers were beyond supportive when I returned. They even got me a card and had everyone in the office write a little mesasge. And I didn't even know most of them very well, I was just an intern. It felt almost like I mattered for a brief moment in time.

Can I ask if you know how long you were conscious for before the SN knocked you out?
 
rntmss

rntmss

Taking it one day at a time
Feb 7, 2020
181
319
Can I ask if you know how long you were conscious for before the SN knocked you out?
Maybe 15 minutes but I only felt the effects of the SN for a couple of minutes from what I remember. It felt like less than 2 before I blacked out.

You don't play with this shit. Once it starts working, you have very little time to do anything or call for help. I wouldn't have been able to call 911 even if I had my phone on me. I could barely open a door knob let alone dial any numbers.

I was only saved because someone heard me crash on the floor and went to check out what happened.
 
rntmss

rntmss

Taking it one day at a time
Feb 7, 2020
181
319
Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m very glad that you’re ok now(as ok as can be). It’s amazing that your roommate and coworkers care so much! Not everyone is fortunate enough to have that.


Do you still feel suicidal at all? If not, is it due only to the love from your co workers? Or is it due to fear of going through that again?


Anyways, I’m very glad that you are doing better now! Hopefully you find something in life to enjoy.
I still feel like I don’t have much in my future. I’m just kinda taking things as they go... right now I have enough to get me through the days and be happy.

And honestly? I’m really only scared of surviving if I decided to do it again. It didn’t feel scary in the moment. It was a couple minutes of discomfort before I collapsed. I just felt... strange. Like I could tell my body wasn’t working right, but I couldn’t actually tell that I was going down that fast. I couldn’t really put a cohesive thought together and just wanted to lay down more than anything.
 
thepolarbear

thepolarbear

'til we die
Dec 7, 2019
57
127
I know exactly how you feel. I was hospitalized / almost died a few months ago (not from a suicide attempt though) and all my coworkers were beyond supportive when I returned. They even got me a card and had everyone in the office write a little mesasge. And I didn't even know most of them very well, I was just an intern. It felt almost like I mattered for a brief moment in time.
Good old meme proven true yet again

 
russian_roulette

russian_roulette

the time for sleep is now
Feb 23, 2020
44
64
Thanks for sharing your story. I wish you a fast recovery! :heart:
 
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The nerd

Veteran
Dec 21, 2019
102
228
Thank you for this report. I now feel comfortable with the SN method and giant container of it that I have in the house.
 
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Emily123

Wise
May 28, 2019
218
350
Thanks for sharing your experience . I also have a wrong feeling that it is not going to kill me . It seems that it is not really a joke
 
B

Bob_Luman

Veteran
Feb 19, 2020
131
133
I'm sorry you had to endure through that. I hope you're doing okay, I've been doing a lot of thinking and I've decided once this seller I know stocks back up I'm going to buy a couple bags just in case I later decide to use. I was recently scared to in case the police come but I figured ah f**k it I got my excuses anyways. Just give them one bag and say someone on reddit or whatever mentioned it was the best for curing meats. And say I was thinking of getting into cooking. Shouldnt happen though with the amount of people that buy the stuff off him and he hasn't been under investigation for a while anyways.
 
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oneside

oneside

Member
Mar 22, 2020
26
119
Good old meme proven true yet again

This meme is a fact.

People say so many things about love and how love is the answer for everything, I don't doubt that love is a good feeling, but it has its own terms :/ People will only show they care if they feel like they are about to lose someone. What a weird way to experience love...
 
FreedomInDeath

FreedomInDeath

Ready to leave
Jan 6, 2020
91
140
I don't think people love people after they die anymore than they did before they just realized you will be gone. Maybe they just didn't show the love before or maybe they do not actually love a person but are just in a state of shock of the change or maybe they feel some sort of "oh poor dead person" vibe. I wonder which is more common? Guess no way to actually 100%, most people themselves have no idea.
 
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TimeToBiteTheDust

TimeToBiteTheDust

Things aren't the way they were before.
Nov 7, 2019
1,265
2,795
I'm glad you could survive. Drinking SN and then realize you are not ready yet must be horrible and desperate. Thanks for sharing your XP. Hope you recover well.
 
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