[Discussion] How many of you are in therapy? Why or why not?

  • Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness, suicide, and the moral implications of the act itself. This is not a pro-suicide site. We do not encourage or aid suicide, and the information offered is for educational purposes only. Read our rules and FAQ for more information. We also offer a recovery subforum if you wish to get support.

    You can close this box by clicking the top right "X".

WastedSpace

WastedSpace

Member
Jun 24, 2020
7
9
33
United states
I am just wondering how many of you are in therapy and how its helping or not helping. I am especially concerned about getting locked up for telling the truth about how suicidal I am (I want to ctb more than anything but am staying alive for now due to a family member who is in an abusive relationship and the fact that I'm the only support person she has. Last time I went inpatient it was a very very negative/traumatic experience. I think it will break me to go inpatient again.) However, it is nice sometimes to have somebody to talk to.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Susannah and Luchs
GiveMePeace

GiveMePeace

-
Jun 26, 2020
13
39
Germany
I was in long term therapy. I went for weekly psychotherapy sessions for about a year. On the one hand I talked through a lot of childhood issues and better understood where my feelings were coming from. I was able to let go of some of the guilt I had been feeling for various reasons thanks to my therapist. So that was good. But on the other hand, understanding why you feel a certain way doesn't necessarily stop those feelings. And frankly for me personally the things we discussed about what I could do to feel better just seemed silly. Like going to the ER with an open gut wound and being given ibuprofen to help feel better again. As in, they weren't wrong and without a doubt were things that would make you feel better, but were just vastly inadequate considering the underlying issues. To be fair though, I never let on quite how desperate I was, precisely because I was afraid I'd be hospitalized. I stopped going because she kept pushing one issue, saying I had to address it in order to move forward where as I was more of the opinion that somethings are buried deep for a reason and should stay buried. So overall, who knows. It definitely didn't make things worse and if I had been more honest, maybe the therapy would have been able to really help me. But the whole thing with always having to censor what you say for fear that it might be the thing to send you to the psych ward is exactly what makes therapy as an out patient so difficult.
 
WastedSpace

WastedSpace

Member
Jun 24, 2020
7
9
33
United states
I was in long term therapy. I went for weekly psychotherapy sessions for about a year. On the one hand I talked through a lot of childhood issues and better understood where my feelings were coming from. I was able to let go of some of the guilt I had been feeling for various reasons thanks to my therapist. So that was good. But on the other hand, understanding why you feel a certain way doesn't necessarily stop those feelings. And frankly for me personally the things we discussed about what I could do to feel better just seemed silly. Like going to the ER with an open gut wound and being given ibuprofen to help feel better again. As in, they weren't wrong and without a doubt were things that would make you feel better, but were just vastly inadequate considering the underlying issues. To be fair though, I never let on quite how desperate I was, precisely because I was afraid I'd be hospitalized. I stopped going because she kept pushing one issue, saying I had to address it in order to move forward where as I was more of the opinion that somethings are buried deep for a reason and should stay buried. So overall, who knows. It definitely didn't make things worse and if I had been more honest, maybe the therapy would have been able to really help me. But the whole thing with always having to censor what you say for fear that it might be the thing to send you to the psych ward is exactly what makes therapy as an out patient so difficult.
Thank you for such an in-depth answer. I'm glad it was at least somewhat helpful for you. I totally know what you mean about having to censor yourself. That's my plan for now - basically avoiding "risky" conversations and talking about my work stress or dating life instead of about the really deep stuff that might lead to talking about ctb.

Was the thing she was pushing you to address a childhood trauma? (Obviously it's ok if you'd rather not say what it was). Its just interesting how many therapists would rather bring up old wounds than talk about the present day - especially when that freudian shit has been proven to be less effective than other forms of therapy.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Helpneedtips
glittergore

glittergore

the caress of the Void
Jun 16, 2020
73
267
23
I've been in therapy on and off since I was 16. I haven't found it particularly useful; my mental disorders manifest in unique ways and I also have a unique (for better or for worse) personality and worldview, so a lot of them didn't understand me and openly admitted to that. I would go in there for one issue and leave with a new and sometimes contradictory diagnosis. I also had one therapist tell me that I wouldn't be able to excel in my career path after talking to me for 15 minutes, so that was lovely. I'm going to be seeing an OCD specialist this week for the first time, so we'll see how well that goes.

I've tried therapy repeatedly because there is a part of me that wants to be well. However, the more times it fails, the less hope I have that I'm capable of getting better and the less I want to get better. I haven't reached that total breaking point yet, though.
 
Luchs

Luchs

kristallene Bergluft über verfallener Gruft
Aug 21, 2019
276
411
somewhere in the Austrian Alps
I am just wondering how many of you are in therapy and how its helping or not helping. I am especially concerned about getting locked up for telling the truth about how suicidal I am (I want to ctb more than anything but am staying alive for now due to a family member who is in an abusive relationship and the fact that I'm the only support person she has. Last time I went inpatient it was a very very negative/traumatic experience. I think it will break me to go inpatient again.) However, it is nice sometimes to have somebody to talk to.
I was in therapy, but my parents paid for it, so I pretended to not need it anymore, after some time. I didn't want to strain their finances.
 
GiveMePeace

GiveMePeace

-
Jun 26, 2020
13
39
Germany
Thank you for such an in-depth answer. I'm glad it was at least somewhat helpful for you. I totally know what you mean about having to censor yourself. That's my plan for now - basically avoiding "risky" conversations and talking about my work stress or dating life instead of about the really deep stuff that might lead to talking about ctb.

Was the thing she was pushing you to address a childhood trauma? (Obviously it's ok if you'd rather not say what it was). Its just interesting how many therapists would rather bring up old wounds than talk about the present day - especially when that freudian shit has been proven to be less effective than other forms of therapy.
You're quite welcome, I hope it's somewhat useful for you.

Yeah it was a childhood issue, but to be fair to her, she was probably right. I just wasn't ready, and I guess she should have known not to pushed so hard. She used a mixed approach of analytical and behavioral therapy, which I think was a good thing. I don't know what situation is for you, but I went for first meetings with a whole bunch of therapists until I found the one I felt most comfortable working with. And then I had 4 sessions with her before we both decided to enter into long term therapy. So if that's an option, I would definitely recommend doing that. Because if your therapist is just one of those people who rub you the wrong way, there really is no use in going to see them.

Looking back the one thing I would probably do different is be honest about my fear about being hospitalized. I'm sure it's something therapists are very used to and maybe they have strategies with how to deal with it. As in maybe you set up some criteria in the beginning where as long as they are being met you won't get hospitalized or something along those lines. I think something like that would have helped me feel more in control of the situation and maybe would have enabled me to be more truthful in the process as a whole.
 
  • Like
Reactions: WastedSpace
WastedSpace

WastedSpace

Member
Jun 24, 2020
7
9
33
United states
You're quite welcome, I hope it's somewhat useful for you.

Yeah it was a childhood issue, but to be fair to her, she was probably right. I just wasn't ready, and I guess she should have known not to pushed so hard. She used a mixed approach of analytical and behavioral therapy, which I think was a good thing. I don't know what situation is for you, but I went for first meetings with a whole bunch of therapists until I found the one I felt most comfortable working with. And then I had 4 sessions with her before we both decided to enter into long term therapy. So if that's an option, I would definitely recommend doing that. Because if your therapist is just one of those people who rub you the wrong way, there really is no use in going to see them.

Looking back the one thing I would probably do different is be honest about my fear about being hospitalized. I'm sure it's something therapists are very used to and maybe they have strategies with how to deal with it. As in maybe you set up some criteria in the beginning where as long as they are being met you won't get hospitalized or something along those lines. I think something like that would have helped me feel more in control of the situation and maybe would have enabled me to be more truthful in the process as a whole.

Cool, I gotcha. I appreciate the advice :)
I've been in therapy on and off since I was 16. I haven't found it particularly useful; my mental disorders manifest in unique ways and I also have a unique (for better or for worse) personality and worldview, so a lot of them didn't understand me and openly admitted to that. I would go in there for one issue and leave with a new and sometimes contradictory diagnosis. I also had one therapist tell me that I wouldn't be able to excel in my career path after talking to me for 15 minutes, so that was lovely. I'm going to be seeing an OCD specialist this week for the first time, so we'll see how well that goes.

I've tried therapy repeatedly because there is a part of me that wants to be well. However, the more times it fails, the less hope I have that I'm capable of getting better and the less I want to get better. I haven't reached that total breaking point yet, though.
WTH! the therapist who shot your career goals down sounds like maybe he/she needs to find a different profession
I've been in therapy on and off since I was 16. I haven't found it particularly useful; my mental disorders manifest in unique ways and I also have a unique (for better or for worse) personality and worldview, so a lot of them didn't understand me and openly admitted to that. I would go in there for one issue and leave with a new and sometimes contradictory diagnosis. I also had one therapist tell me that I wouldn't be able to excel in my career path after talking to me for 15 minutes, so that was lovely. I'm going to be seeing an OCD specialist this week for the first time, so we'll see how well that goes.

I've tried therapy repeatedly because there is a part of me that wants to be well. However, the more times it fails, the less hope I have that I'm capable of getting better and the less I want to get better. I haven't reached that total breaking point yet, though.
WTH! the therapist who shot your career goals down sounds like maybe he/she needs to find a different profession
I was in therapy but I stopped because I don't want to get better. Just too much work and I'm exhausted tbh
Ugh that's so fucking relatable. .. no one deserves that level of exhaustion but I know many of us are at that point. Its just Too. Fucking. Much.
 
Last edited:
Throwawaysoul

Throwawaysoul

Specialist
May 14, 2018
332
848
Therapy is requirement to see the prescriber at the place I go to. Both aren't working.
 
W

Willdieby30

recently unbanned
Aug 21, 2018
91
151
Gatineau, Québec
yes and no. right now i am in between therapists. i participate ij the healthcare dog and pony show purely to advocate for euthanasia
 
I_love_to_bake

I_love_to_bake

Member
Feb 27, 2020
78
152
I've had three different therapists. None of them really helped in any way. Like most people say, it's nice to have someone to talk to. But the conversations are predictable and scripted. They ask the same questions every time with the goal of encouraging you to talk about whatever you feel like. I usually feel really depressed after the session. It's hard to power through the session sometimes. I don't feel like it's worth it, but maybe.
 
nixonnate32

nixonnate32

Master
Mar 17, 2018
408
1,043
I was in therapy, but even though I’ve enjoyed all my sessions with her and that she was the most helpful and understanding, when I decided I’m going in August, I had to end my sessions with her a few months prior as I don’t want her to have to call emergencies or be haunted by my death. As a final goodbye present, I made her a drawing piece of a Koi fish and wrote her a thank you and goodbye letter.
 
  • Love
Reactions: casctb and Epsilon0
Pryras

Pryras

...last resort
Feb 11, 2020
390
1,018
23
Canada
Tried Cognitive behavioural therapy for 2 years and just recently started Dialectical psychotherapy. I would say both are beneficial to some extent. I am learning a few things that I wasn’t aware of previously that I found useful in my attempt at recovery.

It’s important to be transparent with your therapist but if you’re worried about inpatient treatment then I would just say that you’ve thought about suicide but that you’re not high risk of carrying it out. It’s on your mind because you’re in pain but you’re to get help.

I spoke to a psychiatrist who believed I would have benefited from staying a few weeks in the ward but I convinced her that outpatient treatment on my own time was better suited. Yes I was still suicidal but found a way to work on it at home
 
Last edited:
Ijustneeditalltostop

Ijustneeditalltostop

Just a sad old soul searching for a way to escape
May 23, 2020
30
45
Somewhere
Im not cuz m broke lmao
 
Chiyuki99

Chiyuki99

a nightmare dressed like a daydream
May 28, 2019
110
174
21
Portugal
I've been to a psychologist every two weeks for 3 months but stopped going because I could not tell her the full truth about my life and therefore the sessions were futile.
 
  • Like
Reactions: WastedSpace
Kikoo Loool

Kikoo Loool

Illuminated
Feb 25, 2019
1,075
3,301
France
I see a psychiatrist once a month but am not diagnosed depressed. I get a few pills each time (benzo etc. to sleep). Never talked of my suicidal projects and didn't tell I have all the SN stuff home of course!
 
illbeinthegarage

illbeinthegarage

Veteran
Jun 14, 2020
111
509
UK
i was in therapy - family, and cognitive behavioural. it was set up by camhs after years of pleading and finally getting close enough to dying that they gave a fuck. the second i turned 18 they chucked me out completely with no support or passing on to adults. i was discarded of.
 
Susannah

Susannah

Specialist
Jul 2, 2018
321
1,164
I've been to several therapists, both psychologists and psychiatrists. My story started with an anxiety attack at work, so I was sent to the doctor at my workplace. She prescribed Effexor (Venlafaxine), and tried to get me an appointment with this well- known psychiatrist. He turned out to be ill, and for months I tried out different psychologists. Didn't understand shit of how they were meant to help me. One only talked about "the law of attraction". She thought I so good looking, and presumed it to be my main problem. I told here what she wanted to hear. Waste of time and money. Than finally this psychiatrist were available, and I had 3 sessions with him. Unfortunally it was to late, in many ways, but he tok a blood test, and discovered that my levels of Venlafaxine were way to high, and it could have been deadly. Ended up at the psych ward one week later. I still thank him though. He was a really good doctor/therapist.
 
  • Like
Reactions: WastedSpace
M

Moonomyth

Member
Feb 6, 2020
46
74
I was in therapy for a little while when I was 17, about twenty years ago. That helped with the usual teenage anxieties that weren't really serious problems.

I'm not in therapy now for my current issues involving managing anxiety and impulsive behaviors in the face of apparently hopeless situations because I am and will continue to be a combative patient. I can and will argue my way around therapists and create logic traps to nobody's benefit, least of all my own, because I really would rather be right than happy. It feels good to make people admit defeat.

Since that isn't really helpful as a therapeutic solution and since it's stupid to spend money to argue with somebody for an hour to no benefit, I don't go.
 
WastedSpace

WastedSpace

Member
Jun 24, 2020
7
9
33
United states
Just thought I'd post an update. I decided to go but they gave me a 20 year old intern. I'm in my 30s. it was extremely uncomfortable for both of us. The appointment has completely derailed my day.
 
M

Moonomyth

Member
Feb 6, 2020
46
74
Yeah the tendency to use people as training wheels for new interns and first-year residents also keeps me away from going to larger institutions for behavioral health.
 
Theodora

Theodora

the phantom
Jun 25, 2020
23
68
Was since I was in secondary school with the school one .. was ok .. then was transferred to a real one .. stopped after I was 18 now I’m lost in despair .. I went once to the adults one they wanted me in a group I couldn’t do it so I didn’t go back
 
Sensei

Sensei

Illuminated
Nov 4, 2019
1,784
3,757
I'm bipolar and therapy has little to no effect on a chemical imbalance in the brain. I really wish therapy worked against bipolarity. Then I could have made an effort and perhaps even recovered. Now I'm just at the mercy of the whims of my disorder.
 
  • Like
Reactions: WastedSpace
Xali1970

Xali1970

Wise
Sep 4, 2018
251
676
Ireland
Diagnosed with BPD, so i got Dialectical Behavioral therapy. To say it was a disaster is an understatement. 3 psychiatric hospital stays later I'm strongly advised, (i.e. go see a therapist or else). It doesn't help much, mostly because of previous experiences with other therapists and psychiatrists. I cannot be open and honest with her so we're getting nowhere. Not her fault. I'm being "resistant to engagement".
 
schopenh

schopenh

Veteran
Oct 21, 2019
197
306
I am suicidal due to very severe chronic pain. My doctor keeps pushing me to go to see a psychiatrist to 'address the mental health aspect of being in pain'. I politely decline every time. Clinical psychiatry is highly experimental and a corrupt profit-driven industry. Even the most well-meaning psychiatrist who works out of their own private office can do very little for most people. Because under rigorous systematic review most treatments fail to show substantial efficacy and safety. Coupled with this, as people have pointed out, the doctors are constrained by the system they operate under. If someone wants to talk through their true feelings, they can't without fear of their autonomy and freedom being robbed from them as they are forcibly committed to a psychiatric ward and coerced to take medications. So the clinical relationship is always one of distrust and dishonesty.

Psychiatry relies on the scientific illiteracy of the patient. Most people don't know about statistical significance, regression to the mean, what falsifiability means. So they just fundamentally lack the tools to realize contemporary psychiatry remains pseudoscience.

With all that said if you have literally no avenue to talk through your problems you can shop around and find a psychiatrist you like. I see no difference between coming here and blowing off steam and going to a psychiatrist in terms of what it will achieve for the individual. There's this idea that psychiatrists are trained to deal more appropriately with the situation, but that's little more than a fantasy. I've met 2 psychologists and 3 psychiatrists. I thought they were all complete morons.
 
I

Intheo

Member
Jul 1, 2020
35
58
In my experience it has mostly been unhelpful, but in my desperate state, I sought out therapy because I didn't know where else to turn. The price tag is quite something else even though I got the discounted price because I'm currently unemployed.
My therapist is understanding and quite good, but I have my doubts about how much can be changed.
 
I_love_to_bake

I_love_to_bake

Member
Feb 27, 2020
78
152
Diagnosed with BPD, so i got Dialectical Behavioral therapy. To say it was a disaster is an understatement. 3 psychiatric hospital stays later I'm strongly advised, (i.e. go see a therapist or else). It doesn't help much, mostly because of previous experiences with other therapists and psychiatrists. I cannot be open and honest with her so we're getting nowhere. Not her fault. I'm being "resistant to engagement".
Isn't it funny how they blame the patient when they can't do their job?