[Discussion] How many attempts have you made?

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ssaaahmo

ssaaahmo

Wise
May 18, 2020
223
348
I would say I've made 70-80 attempts to kill myself by hanging, wrapping a bag around my head and trying my hands behind my back, going without water for a couple days, detergent suicide, trying to self-induce a heart attack abusing exercise and making myself throw up, trying to jump off a building, threw rocks in coyotes' general directions hoping they would maul me, tried to drown but couldn't actually stay down in the water, abused laxatives hoping my body would go into shock and give myself a heart attack, running in front of cars but they either swerved or hit the brakes just in time-hooooooboy this is a lot. I hate survival instinct-feels bad man. At least I can joke about this in my head to mock myself for being this pathetic.

What have you done? When did you do it?

I think the most times I've ever heard someone attempting is 3 or 4. I feel like an outlier now. Well shit.
 
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Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

What is the point
Jul 10, 2019
2,032
3,540
I think any more then 5, then something clearly isn't working, and that person needs to really sit and look at whats going on. Doesn't mean you're not destined to die, more of a case of you are doing something very wrong. And maybe need to take a break and relook at your options

I have had 2 serious attempts, then an overdose just because I wanted to sleep for a long time, (but not to CTB) ripped into my arms in the hope of serious harm, but again not to CTB.
This was my most Serious Path
 
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autumnal

autumnal

Illuminated
Feb 5, 2020
1,095
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Wow, 70–80 is an awful lot! I'd imagine not all of those attempts had the same degree of seriousness and intended lethality though?
 
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I

I screwed up

Wise
Sep 11, 2019
267
313
May I ask of the 70 - 80 attempts how many were planned / researched ?? Some of the methods may not actually lead to u catching the bus... But anyway I really feel for u my friend ... I can imagine ur mental state just trying ctb so many times and the pain u must be in .. Hope u find peace . hugs
 
ohhgeeitsme

ohhgeeitsme

Wise
Feb 5, 2020
204
491
Four times by partial hanging, all in the same week. This was in December. I haven't tried since, as I had something else planned but that just recently fell through so I'm back to that. I've read more about it afterward and can improve, so maybe I'll be more successful next time around.
 
rainonme

rainonme

Member
May 22, 2020
28
53
Four times by partial hanging, all in the same week. This was in December. I haven't tried since, as I had something else planned but that just recently fell through so I'm back to that. I've read more about it afterward and can improve, so maybe I'll be more successful next time around.
What went wrong?
Four times by partial hanging, all in the same week. This was in December. I haven't tried since, as I had something else planned but that just recently fell through so I'm back to that. I've read more about it afterward and can improve, so maybe I'll be more successful next time around.
What went wrong?
 
ssaaahmo

ssaaahmo

Wise
May 18, 2020
223
348
Wow, 70–80 is an awful lot! I'd imagine not all of those attempts had the same degree of seriousness and intended lethality though?
Right-some of them were a lot more impulsive, like the laxative abuse. People have and can die from that-but it's usually over a longer period of time. I took ten at a time and purged five or six of them back up. Then I ate dinner and threw that back up because the dulcolax upset my stomach so much. Then it kicked in and oh my that shit hurt so much. Not recommended-having a double purge hurts really bad. The coyote thing was definitely the most impulsive though-glad I didn't do that.
I think any more then 5, then something clearly isn't working, and that person needs to really sit and look at whats going on. Doesn't mean you're not destined to die, more of a case of you are doing something very wrong. And maybe need to take a break and relook at your options

I have had 2 serious attempts, then an overdose just because I wanted to sleep for a long time, (but not to CTB) ripped into my arms in the hope of serious harm, but again not to CTB.
This was my most Serious Path
I've been trying to figure things out for a while. Still lost and confused.
Only one. It scared the life out of me, metaphorically speaking.
So sorry have some love ♡
 
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TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Angelic
Aug 27, 2018
2,113
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70-80 seems like bullshit but I don´t know what defines as a suicide attempt so please inform me according to my "attempts"

At 15 years old swallowing like 30 paracematol but got scared and stuck a finger in my throat throwing some up - does this count?

When I was 18-19 planned and was 110% set in my mind of doing CO poisoning in my car using a hose from the vacuum cleaner but when I reached my spot I decided to give life another chance this is one I think might have counted the most because of how mentally ready I was. - dies this count?

a few month back I walked 1½ hours to my childhood home to hang myself using partial hanging but after walking so long I only practiced/attempted for 15-20 minutes the last time I think it would´ve worked if the SI didn´t kick in - did this count?

A few weeks ago I went to a secluded area in the middle of the night and put my gun to the right side of my head with a round in the chamber slowly squeezing the trigger but stopped because of SI - does this count?

I am really not sure what counts as a suicide attempt or just playing or practicing the methods.
 
ssaaahmo

ssaaahmo

Wise
May 18, 2020
223
348
May I ask of the 70 - 80 attempts how many were planned / researched ?? Some of the methods may not actually lead to u catching the bus... But anyway I really feel for u my friend ... I can imagine ur mental state just trying ctb so many times and the pain u must be in .. Hope u find peace . hugs
All of them were planned to an extent-even though some were really impulsive. Thank you for your kind words.
70-80 seems like bullshit but I don´t know what defines as a suicide attempt so please inform me according to my "attempts"

At 15 years old swallowing like 30 paracematol but got scared and stuck a finger in my throat throwing some up - does this count?

When I was 18-19 planned and was 110% set in my mind of doing CO poisoning in my car using a hose from the vacuum cleaner but when I reached my spot I decided to give life another chance this is one I think might have counted the most because of how mentally ready I was. - dies this count?

a few month back I walked 1½ hours to my childhood home to hang myself using partial hanging but after walking so long I only practiced/attempted for 15-20 minutes the last time I think it would´ve worked if the SI didn´t kick in - did this count?

A few weeks ago I went to a secluded area in the middle of the night and put my gun to the right side of my head with a round in the chamber slowly squeezing the trigger but stopped because of SI - does this count?

I am really not sure what counts as a suicide attempt or just playing or practicing the methods.
Those all count as methods in my opinion. If you have intent to end your life and take measures to do that, that is an attempt.
 
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SpottedPanda

SpottedPanda

Member
Jul 24, 2019
69
89
I prefer to think of them as experiments on my part, rather than attempts, but that's just my own gripe. Surely after a while they're not suicide attempts and just reckless actions.

With that said, in around 2014 I put a bag over my head and swallowed sleeping pills. I'd never taken sleeping pills before. I was naively hoping they'd knock me out under the bag, but I waited an hour, and all I got was a bit of unsteadiness on my feet the next day.

I set up an exit bag last year, just store bought helium through a pipe to a plastic shopping bag, but couldn't bring myself to put my head in the bag. That's when I realised the exit bag method probably wasn't for me.

Then right before lockdown I discovered the Night Night method, used rolled up socks and a belt, but didn't pass out. Going to try again after lockdown with a ratchet strap, though I very much doubt the effectiveness of the method, so it'll probably just be back to the drawing board, to choose a different method.
 
ceasetobreathe03

ceasetobreathe03

You've never cared so stop pretending
Dec 20, 2019
1,113
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Zero :(
 
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ohhgeeitsme

ohhgeeitsme

Wise
Feb 5, 2020
204
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What went wrong?

What went wrong?
I just couldn't lose consciousness. I'd wait for about 40 seconds to a minute, but the exploding head thing would freak me out and I'd stop in fear of only doing permanent damage and not dying. I'm convinced I don't have carotid arteries lol. But after reading more about it, I think I can improve my chances. We'll see.
 
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GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Pensively Prolific
Jan 11, 2020
3,415
6,638
Several partial attempts, never lost consciousness. Tried with a tube from the oven (propane gas) into a large garbage bag but the CO2 built up really fast and I hyperventilated, ripped the bag off, it was way too intense. One of the partial attempts was also way too intense due to the position and I aborted.
 
JustAnotherSuicider

JustAnotherSuicider

Hoping for the best - expecting the worst
Dec 28, 2019
86
215
One - partial hanging. I just didn't pas out after 2 min so I stopped.
 
O

Oh so tired

Veteran
Apr 17, 2020
101
107
3 attempts but only 1 of them was properly planned, the others were impulsive overdoses. I'm so sorry for all your attempts, I don't know how you have managed to survive all that :aw:
 
ssaaahmo

ssaaahmo

Wise
May 18, 2020
223
348
3 attempts but only 1 of them was properly planned, the others were impulsive overdoses. I'm so sorry for all your attempts, I don't know how you have managed to survive all that :aw:
I'm still surprised by it too. Sometimes I just get really stupid and act on a whim. I'm planning-really planning and getting ready to-ctb sometime soon (hopefully.) We'll see how that goes.
 
PatheticGirl43

PatheticGirl43

A good impression of myself
May 22, 2020
11
31
Only two serious attempts, but a shit load of reckless behaviour that could have killed me.
 
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Sad_Autistic_boy_101

Sad_Autistic_boy_101

When I die, you'll love me.
Nov 19, 2019
248
627
Only 3 attempts but none have gotten me to hospital that I remember, I feel like a failure. I can't do the only thing that will make me happy.
 
beyond_aquila_rift

beyond_aquila_rift

Member
May 11, 2020
99
152
Maybe 2-3? Idk partial is useless so if that even counts. So is NN. completely useless attempts.
 
IAmSam

IAmSam

Veteran
Apr 13, 2020
196
61
11 times od (9 x paracetamol en 2 x benzo)

+ 100 partitial. Had months i tried multiple times a day. Never passed out

1 time helium exit bag. But right before i was passing out i shit in my pants literally
 
ssaaahmo

ssaaahmo

Wise
May 18, 2020
223
348
11 times od (9 x paracetamol en 2 x benzo)

+ 100 partitial. Had months i tried multiple times a day. Never passed out

1 time helium exit bag. But right before i was passing out i shit in my pants literally
How much did you take when you OD'd?
Oh goodness-100+ partial! Did you not pass out quickly enough?
Maybe 2-3? Idk partial is useless so if that even counts. So is NN. completely useless attempts.
What is NN?
Only 3 attempts but none have gotten me to hospital that I remember, I feel like a failure. I can't do the only thing that will make me happy.
I get feeling like a failure too. Hugs
11 times od (9 x paracetamol en 2 x benzo)

+ 100 partitial. Had months i tried multiple times a day. Never passed out

1 time helium exit bag. But right before i was passing out i shit in my pants literally
I'm really sorry you've been in that much pain. I can't imagine trying to hang myself 100+ times.
 
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beyond_aquila_rift

beyond_aquila_rift

Member
May 11, 2020
99
152
11 times od (9 x paracetamol en 2 x benzo)

+ 100 partitial. Had months i tried multiple times a day. Never passed out

1 time helium exit bag. But right before i was passing out i shit in my pants literally
care to share more on helium bag experience?
NN
How much did you take when you OD'd?
Oh goodness-100+ partial! Did you not pass out quickly enough?

What is NN?

I get feeling like a failure too. Hugs

I'm really sorry you've been in that much pain. I can't imagine trying to hang myself 100+ times.
NN is night-night.