Discussion How do you pick your date once you’ve decided to CTB?

xLosthopex

xLosthopex

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?
Joined
May 29, 2020
Messages
406
So I’m 100% sure about my decision to ctb, I have my chosen method all planned and ready to go, I was going to ctb this week but each time my date comes I’m just like “ok maybe just one more day”- But like every day is misery, it’s not like I’m actually enjoying anything, so why do I keep procrastinating and putting it off? If I don’t ctb soon my anorexia will kill me anyway at the rate it’s at right now, and I’d much rather die from my chosen method than a heart attack from my eating disorder. The main thing I will miss when I go is my dogs, I think each day I just keep thinking “I want just one last day to spend with them” -but I keep saying this every day and not end up doing it! Maybe because I have everything ready to go with my method I just feel more secure and that I can just go when I want anyway, but I don’t really want to keep putting it off either because life is a living hell, so why won’t I just do it?? Maybe it’s also to do with SI idk or the fear of failing
Anyone else in the same position?
 
Symbiote

Symbiote

Sh*t.Happens
Joined
Oct 12, 2020
Messages
692
Whenever I feel like it. I have nothing to stop me except my own self. Sometimes when you have family that is ignorant of mental illness, it can be just as good as a family who cares about mental illness but is ignorant towards you.
 
_Cakes_12

_Cakes_12

Specialist
Joined
Oct 25, 2020
Messages
306
I sadly don't have a method yet, but I couldn't go and leave my little dog :( I don't think anyone would look after her well enough as she requires a lot of attention etc
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

"So if you love me let me go" -snuff
Joined
Jul 1, 2020
Messages
2,091
Basically what the others said. When the time is right you'll know. I've had that feeling a few times but still don't have my method in hand. I might change it to something I already have but I'd rather not. I guess that can be a back up. Sorry started thinking and didn't stop typing lol.
 
_Cakes_12

_Cakes_12

Specialist
Joined
Oct 25, 2020
Messages
306
Basically what the others said. When the time is right you'll know. I've had that feeling a few times but still don't have my method in hand. I might change it to something I already have but I'd rather not. I guess that can be a back up. Sorry started thinking and didn't stop typing lol.
May I ask your method?
 
G

GoneGoneGone

Illuminated
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Apr 1, 2020
Messages
1,111
Maybe because now you have all the details set, the proverbial weight has been lifted off your shoulders, and you don’t feel that urge so strongly?
 
M

Marauder

why keep existing when you´re no living?
Joined
Sep 9, 2020
Messages
92
My original plan was to ctb on nameday. But I missed it
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

"So if you love me let me go" -snuff
Joined
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Messages
2,091
May I ask your method?
sn but im scared to order it plus even if i wasnt im kind of between places right now so i have no safe drop location. however i do have some rope for an art project im doing that might work. but the rope is only going to be used if ive really really had enough.
 
_Cakes_12

_Cakes_12

Specialist
Joined
Oct 25, 2020
Messages
306
sn but im scared to order it plus even if i wasnt im kind of between places right now so i have no safe drop location. however i do have some rope for an art project im doing that might work. but the rope is only going to be used if ive really really had enough.
Ah I see, I'm scared to order SN as well.. and I'm feeling the same, feeling in between etc!
 
S

stoned-cold

Member
Joined
Oct 28, 2020
Messages
8
For me, my date just depends on finding the right place at the right time. I thought about it a lot and I have my method ready. Some days are more tempting than others but I know it has to be done with care. I'm just waiting at this point
 
lonelymountaingirl

lonelymountaingirl

just passing through
Joined
Oct 21, 2020
Messages
55
Date is tricky for me because of being aware of statistics concerning proximity to holidays or other big event days (parent passing anniversary, birthday, etc) and am trying to stay an outlier of the stats.

I don’t have a perfect one yet—but I usually get tremendously depressed after New Year’s.

So maybe then; in the fresh of the year, in the dead of winter.
 
okdoomer

okdoomer

Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2020
Messages
26
As some people have said above, when you know, you know. I think it's best to be calm the day of, but regardless of how you feel, if you're well prepared, the outcome will be the same and it will be final. Really I think the key to reducing SI is realizing that there is no "one more day" because every single day is a repeat of the last miserable one, and it's unfathomable to keep prolonging the inevitable. As for me, I'm still deciding on a date, because I don't have meto for SN yet.
 
peky

peky

life is a struggle you cannot win
Joined
Sep 25, 2020
Messages
264
It wil be saturday night if SN arives
 
bloodyApathy

bloodyApathy

a suicidal human being
Joined
Nov 1, 2020
Messages
3
right now the only thing i've really put in place so far date wise is that i want it to be before may 2, 2021 (it's a sentimental date so i figured it would be a good starting point)
 
bloodyApathy

bloodyApathy

a suicidal human being
Joined
Nov 1, 2020
Messages
3
i don't know.
it would be really interesting to find out yk. like the afterlife and everything is such a strange concept that it's almost like, alluring and stuff. do u know what i mean??
 
Lilacmoon

Lilacmoon

Beautiful moon, take me away.
Joined
Sep 23, 2020
Messages
1,329
it would be really interesting to find out yk. like the afterlife and everything is such a strange concept that it's almost like, alluring and stuff. do u know what i mean??
It would be, it's definitely alluring. But in the end no matter what we might think worry or stress about the afterlife won't change what it actually is. I prefer not to worry about it and let it be whatever it will be. I don't want fears about the afterlife making it harder to commit once it's time, right?
 
bloodyApathy

bloodyApathy

a suicidal human being
Joined
Nov 1, 2020
Messages
3
It would be, it's definitely alluring. But in the end no matter what we might think worry or stress about the afterlife won't change what it actually is. I prefer not to worry about it and let it be whatever it will be. I don't want fears about the afterlife making it harder to commit once it's time, right?
for sure, i definitely get what you're saying. there's not too much of a need to stress a lot about it because it can hinder your ability to actually think once your time comes and everything.
 
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