[Help] How do you know it’s time

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Lilmeowssi

Lilmeowssi

I just want peace
Sep 6, 2019
13
19
Hey, I have a question which is: How do you know it’s time for you to leave earth?
I have days where everything is just very terrible but it’s never actually enough for me to ctb.
I don’t know if it’s because of anxiety or because it’s just not time yet.
 
Iloveyouall

Iloveyouall

Veteran
Feb 12, 2020
125
181
Hey, I have a question which is: How do you know it’s time for you to leave earth?
I have days where everything is just very terrible but it’s never actually enough for me to ctb.
I don’t know if it’s because of anxiety or because it’s just not time yet.
As I don't really consider to ctb I'm not sure I can be very helpful with your question but I would say that you know it's time when you are at peace with this idea, when you are fully resolved and rational about it, when there is nothing left in your mind, when nothing matters anymore.
 
C

calendulo

Elementalist
Jun 13, 2019
715
644
It is a good question.
The weird studies tell about fifteen minutes before.
Or when anyone fells that no way out.
I do not know, guess there will not be an answer.
 
Last edited:
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thrw_a_way1221221

thrw_a_way1221221

Angel of Choice - time is getting closer...
Aug 30, 2018
3,799
12,510
It would vary from individual to individual as it's really personal. For others, it could be the final realization that there is really no other way out, being at peace with the situation and knowing that death is the release from the torment that they are enduring, and of course, finally overcoming their SI (even if not fully, but mostly at least enough to attempt).
 
Sensei

Sensei

Illuminated
Nov 4, 2019
1,161
2,223
To quote the Bene Gesserit: "Fear is the mind-killer." When you no longer fear death, you're probably ready.

(As always, serious mental disorders are exceptions. If you are schizophrenic and have a psychotic episode or bipolar and have a depressive episode you're obviously not in your right mind.)
 
HannahB

HannahB

Death is the true name of time.
Oct 29, 2019
189
553
Theres no one specific path or answer. Every human is different and therefore their path is different. What is good or bad, fast or slow, hot or cold, depend on you.
 
Finding_Peace

Finding_Peace

Member
Feb 13, 2020
25
79
If you aren’t 100% sure and/or have to ask this question, it’s probably not your time, and there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact it’s a brilliant thing to know there’s still some part of you that wants to live.

For me, I knew I was ready when death seemed like the next step in my life. I’ve been attempting suicide since I was 11, but a lot of them were done in pits of despair with my mental illness, mostly irrationally and last minute. My upcoming date isn’t like that at all. I feel ready, content and I’ve got everything in order. I know I’m not acting irrationally due to depression and am instead thinking of my right to choose how long I live for. I’m sure SI will kick in at some point, but for now I’m feeling super ready to go and there’s no mental torment in my mind about whether it’s the right decision or not.
 
UpandDownPrincess

UpandDownPrincess

Wise
Dec 31, 2019
269
475
I can't believe I'm saying this because it's such a stupid answer:

You'll just know.

Sounds dumb, right? But when I was ready to go, nothing would stop me and I thought of nothing else. If I hadn't been sectioned, I'd be dead.

That's how I knew.
 
Jessamine

Jessamine

Specialist
Oct 28, 2019
331
172
Not being scared of death anymore. Truly believing with all your heart that no one benefits from you still being alive. Not being afraid of pain from your method, just thinking it’s preferable to the alternative.
 
R

RoseyBird

Wizard
Jan 20, 2020
698
1,183
Something just started shifting. Instead of sad about it I stared waiting for it. Instead of worrying about other people i started to assume they would be ok without me. one day I just felt a drive to get my SN kit put together, but before I was content with just having the SN.

Im not 100% ready Since I still have attachment to my baby, but I can see where the edge is.
 
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voyager

voyager

Don't you dare go hollow...
Nov 25, 2019
380
696
Can reiterate some named before, one just knows, no fear, easier than living on. Also think it's about free choice, you know. About twenty years ago I was desperate, could actually feel my mental pain physically, standing by the train tracks, anything to make it stop, classic impulsive, but something stopped me. Now there's far less pressure on me, and it has become a rational choice based on the situation. Anhedonia, numbness, meaningless, all contributed. Death actually seems more exciting than this pointless existence. I'm not broken, but when one is young one thinks one's life will be spectacular and going out with a bang. Don't think so anymore. It's almost underwhelming. No emotions. No regrets. No doubts. Acceptance. Am at peace with everything.
 
L

LastRide

Veteran
Jan 23, 2020
104
118
There's two sides to being "ready" I think...one is the decision you've made, about method, get the stuff you need, you've rehearsed your method and are not stressed, just looking forward to it finally being over. But then there's the circumstances in your life which makes it that you are not quite ready, me for example I have some big responsibilities, I need some time to make a will and leave everyting here on earth sorted, I hate it when things are messy and I would have a bad conscience about leaving unfinished business behind. So I'm mentally ready, but there are still a few loose ends to tie up. What I am really starting to panic about right now is my health problems have worsened so badly over the last 3-4- weeks that I might not even need to CTB - I will probably die before. So I need to get my stuff sorted really quickly since it could be over very soon, and that makes me slightly unconfortable, because sorting my stuff will need a couple of months more. I was planning to CTB in summer. But I don't see how I can last that long, my health is going downhill rapidly. The thought of dying doesn't scare me any longer, so I am confident that I'm ready, but I just hope it won't be too painful - otherwise back to the CTB plan ! That way you have control and can get the timing right.
 
MachinaArcana

MachinaArcana

Member
Jan 18, 2020
53
124
I’m no longer “contemplating” the way I have done so many times before, and neither am I acting on impulse. I am 48, slashed my wrists (pretty badly, leaving me somewhat impaired) when I was 23. A quarter of a century ago. But all I can say is that in recent months, a calm came over me, I am really done with it all, and want out. There is no alternative anymore - and that has to do with mental and physical/health problems, complete and utter isolation from the rest of society, and simply not being able to make sense of the world around me - let alone find my place in it. There is simply no point anymore in me being here, and waking up again every day feels like a punishment. I am preparing the needed materials, getting all my paperwork and the apartment in order, everything well documented. I don’t want to burden anyone. I just hope - no make that truly believe- that when I finally ctb one of these days, it’s all over. I simply cease to exist and am no longer a sentient being. It’s the thing that makes suicide such a paradox in my opinion - you will not be there to experience the peace, calm, and stillness. Pity. But I want my life to be over with - and am at peace with that. No doubts, regrets, or fears anymore. I feel ready. At last.
 
L

LastRide

Veteran
Jan 23, 2020
104
118
I’m no longer “contemplating” the way I have done so many times before, and neither am I acting on impulse. I am 48, slashed my wrists (pretty badly, leaving me somewhat impaired) when I was 23. A quarter of a century ago. But all I can say is that in recent months, a calm came over me, I am really done with it all, and want out. There is no alternative anymore - and that has to do with mental and physical/health problems, complete and utter isolation from the rest of society, and simply not being able to make sense of the world around me - let alone find my place in it. There is simply no point anymore in me being here, and waking up again every day feels like a punishment. I am preparing the needed materials, getting all my paperwork and the apartment in order, everything well documented. I don’t want to burden anyone. I just hope - no make that truly believe- that when I finally ctb one of these days, it’s all over. I simply cease to exist and am no longer a sentient being. It’s the thing that makes suicide such a paradox in my opinion - you will not be there to experience the peace, calm, and stillness. Pity. But I want my life to be over with - and am at peace with that. No doubts, regrets, or fears anymore. I feel ready. At last.
Oh please yes, let it be over ! Soon ! Every day is torture.
 
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