Has anyone else actually ended up feeling LESS suicidal since joining?

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thrw_a_way1221221

thrw_a_way1221221

Angel of Choice - time is getting closer...
Aug 30, 2018
3,201
11,351
Yes, initially. I believe this place has always made me less suicidal and has never made me MORE suicidal. It's the world and society as well as IRL around me that pushes me closer to CTB rather than this place. This place is like my secret sanctuary where I am able to speak about these topics without censorship or fear of consequences/persecution.
 
EmptyArms

EmptyArms

Veteran
Dec 1, 2019
127
346
The support system here is unbelievable. Never felt so close to so many in such a short time. It’s beautiful and helped. I can’t promise I am going to live through this bout of depression, but I like coming here.
I really hope you do. I'm so glad you are feeling a little better.
Me. I have actually made a full recovery from my illness with the support of the people here. I owe you my life guys. :heart:
I love hearing this. What an amazing thing to have found right what you need right here. Kind of funny that a place that sanctions suicide has saved your life. It's the freedom to choose that stops the feeling of being pushed into a corner.
 
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scorchedearth

Member
Oct 5, 2019
9
25
Hasn't really changed anything for me, but it's nice to have a place where people can be honest about these things.
 
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Taki

Taki

Wise
Jul 31, 2019
204
387
No change for me. I learned a bit more about how to hang myself.
 
Caycee

Caycee

Member
Aug 28, 2018
26
43
I've come in when I am at my worst and at the point of feeling it is time to get things in order. Then, I hear from a few people, and some time passes, and change happens, and I do feel lighter and more expansive. Talking it out with a supportive group who gives me permission to die if I wish does have a transformative effect for awhile. For me, this has been the greatest gift of the forum. Second is all the information provided in case that moment arrives when I truly am ready. This group has been a gift to me, though I do, for the most part, only appear during that period of "no more chances." I always intend to devote myself to simple study of methods when I'm in a steady state of being, but I have only gone so far. A lot to learn here and a demanding life out there.
 
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lofistos345

Veteran
Oct 6, 2019
165
226
I feel calm knowing how to CTB peacefully. Not knowing how to properly die was a huge stress factor for me. I have all my gear with me I sleep better at night.

Visiting the forum does make me really depressed. So many in the forum are suffering from problems that I can relate to it that they have to CTB. It's sad that we live in a world of so much suffering.
 
Morphinekiss

Morphinekiss

don’t know how to leave or how to stay
Jun 8, 2019
893
2,118
Being able to openly talk has been helpful and has helped me stick to my original plan of waiting to ctb for many years.
At the same time I see people forming friendships and connections on here and I can’t manage to do that so I feel even more isolated/useless/inept which feeds my loneliness.
 
Quarky00

Quarky00

Master
Dec 17, 2019
469
945
No... But made me calm & confident

Members here speak in complete accordance with how I feel. I'm less distraught. Where ever I go nowadays it feels like there is an army behind me. Had circumstances changed I'm sure SS would have made me recover. This unconditional acceptance is extremely empowering.
 
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
934
1,700
Me. I have actually made a full recovery from my illness with the support of the people here. I owe you my life guys. :heart:
What does this mean? That just venting and reading replies did the trick for you??? You didn't tried therapists before? You did this without medication?
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
4,356
8,788
Being able to openly talk has been helpful and has helped me stick to my original plan of waiting to ctb for many years.
At the same time I see people forming friendships and connections on here and I can’t manage to do that so I feel even more isolated/useless/inept which feeds my loneliness.
Cough. And am I chopped liver? Hmmmmm?
 
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
934
1,700
90% less suicidal thanks to testosterone and dianabol therapy
The 10% left it's because life can be hard trying to recover from 20 years of depression and medication . I need to figure this out and do something about it.
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
4,356
8,788
90% less suicidal thanks to testosterone and dianabol therapy
The 10% left it's because life can be hard trying to recover from 20 years of depression and medication . I need to figure this out and do something about it.
Bipolar here, which switched to major depression. I started over at age 40. Meds do wonders. I understand.
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
1,773
2,695
Bipolar here, which switched to major depression. I started over at age 40. Meds do wonders. I understand.
I'm still trying to find the right med combo for me
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
4,356
8,788
I'm still trying to find the right med combo for me
You will get it. Takes time. I am still trying to find the right Asthma meds. Happens with anything.
 
Sensei

Sensei

Visionary
Nov 4, 2019
905
1,708
Bipolar here, which switched to major depression. I started over at age 40. Meds do wonders. I understand.
Are you bipolar too?! Well, it would explain some things. :tongue: Or do you mean that you were misdiagnosed as bipolar?
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
1,773
2,695
You will get it. Takes time. I am still trying to find the right Asthma meds. Happens with anything.
I recently picked up my new Lithium prescription, but am afraid to take it because I heard about Lithium toxicity
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
4,356
8,788
Are you bipolar too?! Well, it would explain some things. :tongue: Or do you mean that you were misdiagnosed as bipolar?
I was Bipolar as a teenager. Loved it! Got so much done when I was manic (just had spending problems.)

Now I warped into Major Depression. No mania.
I recently picked up my new Lithium prescription, but am afraid to take it because I heard about Lithium toxicity
Lithium can be good. I was in it. Get your bloodwork. Then you don’t have to worry.
 
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A

awfullife

Member
Nov 16, 2019
60
119
It feels good to talk about CTB for me. It is still sad to read about members who catch the bus in real time on the board.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
4,356
8,788
It feels good to talk about CTB for me. It is still sad to read about members who catch the bus in real time on the board.
It doesn’t get easier, but you get used to it. :)
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
1,773
2,695
I was Bipolar as a teenager. Loved it! Got so much done when I was manic (just had spending problems.)

Now I warped into Major Depression. No mania.

Lithium can be good. I was in it. Get your bloodwork. Then you don’t have to worry.
I haven't had mania in months and sorta miss it