Has anyone else actually ended up feeling LESS suicidal since joining?

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anchored_astronaut

anchored_astronaut

Member
Nov 25, 2019
33
152
I know it might sound insane but... just having a place to state my thoughts without being deemed exactly that has made it easier to face the days. Just knowing that there are people who believe me when I say those days aren't worth it makes them more tolerable. Knowing there are people who understand that I feel more pain than pleasure in this life. I still think I'll catch the bus, eventually, but not as acutely as I'd intended to when I joined the site. In a way, it's loosened a loose, for me at least.
 
anchored_astronaut

anchored_astronaut

Member
Nov 25, 2019
33
152
I feel the same. It does help having people you can tell anything to though.
Exactly. Just being able to say "my life sucks and I want to die" without having all that "it isn't so bad!" "other people have it worse!" "just call a therapist!" (like i didn't try that???) is so relieving. It makes it easier to be able to be honest about how hard it.
 
T

The nerd

Member
Dec 21, 2019
76
160
Exactly. Just being able to say "my life sucks and I want to die" without having all that "it isn't so bad!" "other people have it worse!" "just call a therapist!" (like i didn't try that???) is so relieving. It makes it easier to be able to be honest about how hard it.
The support system here is unbelievable. Never felt so close to so many in such a short time. It’s beautiful and helped. I can’t promise I am going to live through this bout of depression, but I like coming here.
 
L

LivingToLong

Wise
Feb 23, 2019
261
738
Initially, yes. Being able to say things (well, type them into the void) made me feel better. And reading other peoples stories, that gave my cause to reflect. Also, some people here write so well and I got to enjoy simply reading what people wrote.

But lately, I don't know. I think the words might be starting to get to me too much. I'm not sure it's good for me to keep reading, maybe I should take a break for a while.
 
anchored_astronaut

anchored_astronaut

Member
Nov 25, 2019
33
152
Initially, yes. Being able to say things (well, type them into the void) made me feel better. And reading other peoples stories, that gave my cause to reflect. Also, some people here write so well and I got to enjoy simply reading what people wrote.

But lately, I don't know. I think the words might be starting to get to me too much. I'm not sure it's good for me to keep reading, maybe I should take a break for a while.
Do whatever you think is best for you. As much as we value each other here, we value people leaving here even more, I think. I hope there comes a time all of us get what we need and log off for good. And I think all of us do. And that's why it's so special.
 
k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
1,217
2,531
I'm definitely doing better now than when I joined. I'm not fixed, and I'm still very suicidal, but I'm able to manage it much better now. I was inspired to give recovery a shot. I've still got my SN and supplies in a little box though.
 
anchored_astronaut

anchored_astronaut

Member
Nov 25, 2019
33
152
Me. I have actually made a full recovery from my illness with the support of the people here. I owe you my life guys. :heart:
Yess ❤❤❤ omg this made me so happy it made my whole day. no, my whole week. month. hell, this is too amazing to explain! this is why i think it's so important to have places we can just be. we aren't actually encouraging, glamorizing, or promoting damaging behaviors. we're just accepting that they exist and discussing them. i don't think silence has ever helped anyone. in fact i think silence can kill. we need to be able to speak. even if what we say is uncomfortable for a lot of people.
 
mediocre

mediocre

stuck in an alternative universe
Nov 9, 2019
569
1,470
I'm not less suicidal but I have calmed down a bit. About a month ago I was on the verge of a panic attack but then I found SS and learned about SN. Now I am more focused. Knowing there are others out there with similar issues has also helped.
 
Sensei

Sensei

Visionary
Nov 4, 2019
905
1,707
My suicidal drive is both chemical and psychological, so it's a difficult struggle, but I do feel less suicidal since I joined this forum. It's easier to live in darkness if you know you're not alone.

night.jpg
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
4,357
8,786
No. However, I am able to COPE better. I will never be less suicidal. I am here. Without the forum, I would not be.

Sometimes we cannot be cured, and need to learn coping techniques to be able to deal. This is what the forum has done for me.
 
L

LivingToLong

Wise
Feb 23, 2019
261
738
I'm not sure that I cope, I think I kind of just live with the feelings because, well, what choice do I have? That is, other than the choice that seems already made for me. I try to keep myself occupied with trivial tasks, putting off the inevitable, but it really does feel like I'm simply biding my time until the time comes. I mean, I can only see one solution. It's there waiting for me, not going away.
 
LMLN

LMLN

Specialist
Aug 10, 2019
333
2,024
I think for me the suicidal feelings are there regardless. This place just gives me a place to talk about it without judgement. I think I've stayed longer because of this. No guarantees I'll never ctb...but that is the case anyway. I'd say this forum/website will keep me here longer.
 
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D

dumdumdedum

Member
Dec 2, 2019
74
130
SS has sharpened my mind towards suicide. it has led to me to thinkers such as simon critchley and emil cioran who have led me to a more nuanced, philosophically sophisticated approach to suicidality.

does it make me less suicidal? dunno. but it has led to new modes of thinking.
 
OneBigBlur

OneBigBlur

Wise
Nov 30, 2019
212
629
SS has sharpened my mind towards suicide. it has led to me to thinkers such as simon critchley and emil cioran who have led me to a more nuanced, philosophically sophisticated approach to suicidality.

does it make me less suicidal? dunno. but it has led to new modes of thinking.
I'd recommend this book:

 
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Carina

Carina

Illuminated
Dec 22, 2019
1,730
1,810
Feeling less suicidal? Hasn't happened yet in my life. Honestly shy of just not knowing a painless/guaranteed way all those years and I wouldn't have made it this long. I found this place... well.. looking for just that, a painless way (the forum wasn't the main link, but it was on the page).

Being here even for a short while, has made it that it's a bit easier to last longer, even though the desire to leave is stronger than me living. I have to consciously, logically, systematically block attempts. At least here, I don't have to lie. I'm not alone.
 
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C

Compodulator

Elementalist
Nov 8, 2018
704
2,115
This site made me weirdly cuddly.
I'm saying weirdly because I still hate being touched IRL, but if I could, I could arrange an establishment of sorts, a bar or something, where SS members can and do meet regularly, I would turn into an energetic anime schoolgirl and pounce on everybody like so.
 
BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

I'm a BPD Barbie Girl living in a suicidal world
Dec 1, 2019
502
1,567
It's a safe haven. If I can't get on here for whatever reason I feel angsty. It's such a comforting place, you know you can get real support here from people who are in the same place as you. There is no judgement, no condescending comments. Just love and support. While it hasn't made me less suicidal as such, it's made my remaining time easier, that's for sure.
 
C

ceasetobreathe03

In a year, you'll forget I'm gone
Dec 20, 2019
172
346
Same here! It's nice to have others who support you that are going through similar things and feeling similar ways. Everyone here is so supportive, even if we live hundreds of miles apart. More supportive than some family may be.