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goodbye thread - today 10:00 pm (UTC +2)

Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Angelic
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
2,085
does anyone knows what brought him to ctb?
He explained it on his profile, his about me page. A long life of never having any relationships at all, or sex even, into his 50s, a lifetime of severe depression and isolation I think. Very sad. It surprised me to read it because he seemed so appealing and nice and warm. Hard to imagine such a person going through life without making any connections. He apparently made some here.
 
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Incorrigible77777

Incorrigible77777

I was born human and I'm sorry for that. ——太宰 治
Joined
Jul 9, 2020
Messages
197
@LetzteAusfahrt

Es freut mich ihnen kennenzulernen!!! I'm grateful about all the advice, help you give me and the care you express. I find it quickly that when I see this thread you're already gone. So quick that I didn't even have time to formally say goodbye to you. Honestly, somehow sad I feel as it comes all of sudden... Still, I'm happy that you eventually said goodbye to all the difficulties and sufferings on this h*ly cr*ppy world. May you eventually find peace and happiness there.

My primary departure date is set to 10/14, which is 1-year anniversary of Korean singer Sulli's CTB. I'll try out argon exit bag, as my N is still at the customs and wait for the clearance process. I wish I could successfully CTB and die without pain then so that I'll also be able to say goodbye to all the bad things on this world. If so, we might meet on the other side and say Guten Morgan to each other. Couldn't wait and see that happening ;-) If not, I'll pray that you enjoy everything there.

Best wishes,
Incorrigible77777, a 24-year-old boy from Shanghai, China long suffering from major depression
 
Mimi79

Mimi79

-Different -
Joined
Oct 10, 2020
Messages
54
Did you know him in personal,?
I know him from other sides and contact about phone, we never met personally because of the distance between us, but we were close to each other. I always tried to give him a little bit love and the feeling to be loved.
I miss him ... feels like a part of me is gone with him...
 
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Mimi79

Mimi79

-Different -
Joined
Oct 10, 2020
Messages
54
It feels so weird that he’s gone. I’m grateful that he arranged for people to document the effects of SN. Do we know how loud his convulsions were?
It feels so weird that he’s gone. I’m grateful that he arranged for people to document the effects of SN. Do we know how loud his convulsions were?
A part of me is gone with him:(
But I’m thankful to know him in peace ❤
 
L

Living sucks

Forced out of life before I wanted to leave
Joined
Mar 27, 2020
Messages
3,143
I would like to read about these. Can you let me know where you saw the accounts of them? It would be very much appreciated.
In the successes and failures thread. Moonie and one documented by sideswipe of a non member
 
Maxtothemax

Maxtothemax

Meow.
Joined
Jul 9, 2020
Messages
1,313
Reading through this makes me doubt how peaceful this method is
@Meditation guide
 
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T

TheQ22

-
Joined
Aug 17, 2020
Messages
1,116
Reading through this makes me doubt how peaceful this method is
@Meditation guide
I think death is inevitably going to be uncomfortable in some way (unless you die unexpectedly in your sleep without waking up).

Between jumping in front of a train or drinking SN, I can only imagine that SN is far less traumatic.

N or inert gas or CO is probably even less traumatic than SN.

But between the physical effects and what's going on inside your own head and the need for the certainty of success, it's not going to be a bed of roses.
 
Maxtothemax

Maxtothemax

Meow.
Joined
Jul 9, 2020
Messages
1,313
I think death is inevitably going to be uncomfortable in some way (unless you die unexpectedly in your sleep without waking up).

Between jumping in front of a train or drinking SN, I can only imagine that SN is far less traumatic.

N or inert gas or CO is probably even less traumatic than SN.

But between the physical effects and what's going on inside your own head and the need for the certainty of success, it's not going to be a bed of roses.
That’s true. Unless we can get a hold of N or somehow pass away peacefully in our sleep, it’s never going to be 100% peaceful.
 
less than

less than

not important
Joined
Jul 25, 2019
Messages
143
I missed the right time to say goodbye.
I hope you found what you were looking for and your transition has been peaceful and painless.
RIP
For those who witnessed his passing via live stream: please be careful with yourself and take all the time you need to recover from this event.
 
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MewtwoIsAlive

MewtwoIsAlive

Member
Joined
Jul 11, 2020
Messages
54
wow, im so sorry i wasnt here before, although we never really talked I felt like he is a very nice guy, im really surprised he made it all through his 50s, impressive, Im barely holding up here in my early 20s
 
AvaAdore

AvaAdore

When will it be?
Joined
Jul 20, 2020
Messages
131
i miss his presence, he has contributed so much to this community. seeing his name crossed out now makes me very sad:(
does anyone knows what brought him to ctb?
i hope you found peace my friend:/:heart:
I was wondering the same thing. A couple people informed me he had an about section that provides his background. Basically it seems like chronic depression, social phobia and declining quality of living conditions.
 
Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Angelic
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
2,085
Loudest was his breathing. I expect it would be heard through thin walls.
Loud breathing like he was gasping for breath, struggling to get in air? How long did that part last?

Do you feel he was suffering?
 
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sadworld

sadworld

pathetic aesthetic
Joined
Aug 25, 2020
Messages
388
Loud breathing like he was gasping for breath, struggling to get in air? How long did that part last?

Do you feel he was suffering?
The part didn't last too long and after a while he eventually stopped breathing. We asked him to make a sign if he can still hear us but nothing happened so we assume he was already unconscious at that point.
 
albino_elk

albino_elk

meet me beyond pain and happiness
Joined
Aug 25, 2020
Messages
152
Sodium nitrite blocks the air in your brain and heart so no shit he was struggling with breathing. hello?????????
 
Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Angelic
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
2,085
He is in a sort of intake room enjoying a beer with an old friend. They also have snacks. He is quite pleased about it all.
He has no more depression or pain or sadness. He has his usual body, shows me his arm and pinches it to show it's just like his regular earthly body. He sits on a grey couch with his friend very close. He says to tell everyone hi and he is doing very well and quite happy. His friend wears a red shirt, smiles at me and him and is delighted to see him and will guide him through everything.
(sorry I don't know what this all means but it was a sort of vision that came to me. It was quite vivid.)
 
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Greenberg

Greenberg

nitrogenexit.blogspot.com
Joined
Jun 28, 2020
Messages
345
I don’t think chemically-induced unconsciousness guarantees the absence of pain. @Aap and @Greenberg might be able to explain better than I can.
That is a tough question to offer a definitive answer...as we do not really know! Not enough research has been done on this subject matter to reach a conclusion.

The question becomes even more confounding considering there are many "levels" of unconsciousness. Unconsiousness can vary from a light sleep state to a state of complete vegetative coma. Certainly for the former, an individual would be able to feel external stimuli but for a very deep state of unconsciousness, the general consensus is no.

For a chemically-induced unconsciousness, I would surmise that the answer is still no. If we draw from the example of anesthesia, people who are "under" generally do not feel pain. But there are notable cases of people who were under and reported feeling external stimuli during an operation. There is also the possibility these patients were either dreaming or hallucinating due to strong medication given. Sorry that I am not more helpful.
 
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B

bov

Veteran
Joined
Aug 26, 2020
Messages
150
That is a tough question to offer a definitive answer...as we do not really know! Not enough research has been done on this subject matter to reach a conclusion.

The question becomes even more confounding considering there are many "levels" of unconsciousness. Unconsiousness can vary from a light sleep state to a state of complete vegetative coma. Certainly for the former, an individual would be able to feel external stimuli but for a very deep state of unconsciousness, the general consensus is no.

For a chemically-induced unconsciousness, I would surmise that the answer is still no. If we draw from the example of anesthesia, people who are "under" generally do not feel pain. But there are notable cases of people who were under and reported feeling external stimuli during an operation. There is also the possibility these patients were either dreaming or hallucinating due to strong medication given. Sorry that I am not more helpful.
From what I gathered from our PMs, L wanted his death to be painful; that was why he chose that method.
 

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