[Story] Gonna leave this world for a while - Now I'm Free. Free Fallin

  • Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness, suicide, and the moral implications of the act itself. This is not a pro-suicide site. We do not encourage or aid suicide, and the information offered is for educational purposes only. Read our rules and FAQ for more information. We also offer a recovery subforum if you wish to get support.

    You can close this box by clicking the top right "X".

Skyview

Skyview

Going Blue
Dec 9, 2019
475
791
You worked extremely hard , long hours and now the time has come for rest , be safe on your hike to your favorite spot and wishing you a peaceful journey :heart:
 
  • Love
Reactions: Farmmaa
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,588
14,926
Can we have an update please? Are you ok?
 
D

Daffodil

Veteran
Dec 23, 2019
130
230
I'm OK.... Just tying up some last minute things around the house - finishing up a pet portrait I'm doing for a friend.

I will check in as much as I can before I head out
Best of luck to you on your way out. It sounds like you at least should be comfortable. It's a method that is appealing to me, but I don't know where to get the materials without putting myself at legal risk, which I think is something I'd like to avoid. I think you will have a more peaceful passing than 95% of people, or at least it seems you will. Here's to peaceful vibes on your last day.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Farmmaa
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,588
14,926
I'm OK.... Just tying up some last minute things around the house - finishing up a pet portrait I'm doing for a friend.

I will check in as much as I can before I head out
We are here for you. :heart:
 
Farmmaa

Farmmaa

-
Dec 4, 2019
344
989
Best of luck to you on your way out. It sounds like you at least should be comfortable. It's a method that is appealing to me, but I don't know where to get the materials without putting myself at legal risk, which I think is something I'd like to avoid. I think you will have a more peaceful passing than 95% of people, or at least it seems you will. Here's to peaceful vibes on your last day.
From all accounts, it is an extremely peaceful way to go
Anyone who has OD'd says the same thing - they took the drug, felt wonderful, started to nod off.... and nothing until they were jolted awake by paramedics.
So... just avoid paramedics.
We are here for you. :heart:
And, it is a great comfort knowing that
You worked extremely hard , long hours and now the time has come for rest , be safe on your hike to your favorite spot and wishing you a peaceful journey :heart:
Not going to lie - I'm exhausted. Not just today, but for several years now. My body is just tired.
 
Underscore

Underscore

Nothing is forgotten.
Jul 31, 2018
4,238
8,469
Just a random update - Obviously didn't sleep well last night and have a raging migraine today - to be expected.
There is a raging snowstorm outside right now... yay. But, it should keep more people indoors and away from my peaceful place, and the new snow should make it even more beautiful.

Bought myself some nail polish yesterday and after a long hot shower.... and very much needed leg shave... I will be giving myself a pedicure for the first time in years. I spend every day in work boots and wool socks, so never bother any more.

I've decided not to worry about the lack of benzos. Even if the F I bought is really cut, there's still plenty to OD on and I want people to know if this method really works.
At the very least, it will lower my heart rate nd breathing to dangerous levels and unless I am somehow found within the first few hours, the cold weather coming tonight should cause hypothermia fairly soon.

And... if anyone is wondering - the photos on my post are of the tattoo I got two years ago to honor my brother and niece. :aw:
I'm so sorry to hear you are going and that your suffering has led you to this. I salute your courage.
Now I have that Tom Petty song in my head.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Farmmaa
J

Jean Améry

Visionary
Mar 17, 2019
990
3,343
Just know that you can turn back if it doesn't feel right. It's totally up to you, either way. Wishing you well does not imply any sort of pressure whatsoever. This forum is about support, not about convincing anyone of anything.
 
Farmmaa

Farmmaa

-
Dec 4, 2019
344
989
Just know that you can turn back if it doesn't feel right. It's totally up to you, either way. Wishing you well does not imply any sort of pressure whatsoever. This forum is about support, not about convincing anyone of anything.
Thank you :heart:
 
D

Deathwish1968

Member
Oct 30, 2019
54
91
I am so sorry to hear what you have been through. Sometimes , there is no respite from pain and suffering no matter how hard we try. It is really exhausting. I hope you have a painless transition to a place where you can finally rest and be at peace.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Farmmaa
Farmmaa

Farmmaa

-
Dec 4, 2019
344
989
Just going to pamper myself a little - shower, shave, clean up.. put my hiking clothes on and then will check in with everyone before I leave the house !

Note to self: Do NOT clear your computer before you need to access your on line banking info. Took me an hour to get on to my bank site because I couldn't reset the damn password. Doh.
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,588
14,926
Just going to pamper myself a little - shower, shave, clean up.. put my hiking clothes on and then will check in with everyone before I leave the house !

Note to self: Do NOT clear your computer before you need to access your on line banking info. Took me an hour to get on to my bank site because I couldn't reset the damn password. Doh.
How are you feeling emotionally?
 
A

a.h

Wise
Jun 19, 2019
294
229
From all accounts, it is an extremely peaceful way to go
Anyone who has OD'd says the same thing - they took the drug, felt wonderful, started to nod off.... and nothing until they were jolted awake by paramedics.
So... just avoid paramedics.


And, it is a great comfort knowing that
Not going to lie - I'm exhausted. Not just today, but for several years now. My body is just tired.
I have heard exactly the same things about it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Farmmaa
EmptyArms

EmptyArms

Veteran
Dec 1, 2019
148
407
I'll be thinking of you patting your sweet dog on some other plane Farmmaa. I hope your brave journey takes you there swiftly and smoothly. With love.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Farmmaa
Starrywaters

Starrywaters

Member
Dec 10, 2019
63
145
I’m sorry for everything that led you hear. I’m sending you peace and I Hope should you go that your gorgeous pup is waiting to meet you - wherever we may go.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Farmmaa
Farmmaa

Farmmaa

-
Dec 4, 2019
344
989
OK all of my beautiful, sorrowful and misunderstood misfits of society.....

Just waiting for the washer to finish spinning so my clothes don't get all musty and gross.

Then I am off.
I am doing this without benzos or alcohol because I want it to be as 'accidental' as possible.
By all means, if you don't care about that.... every extra ounce of insurance helps.

I'm not afraid at all because I know it will be ridiculously peaceful and painless. I'm looking forward to having Jayda meet me at the end of the trail.

My only fear is that of not dying. That terrifies me.

So... I have my long johns on, my wool socks, sweaters, touque and mitts in my backpack... granola bars and juice to make the hike look legit.
All that stands in my way is all of this damn snow!!!

Several people are on media watch.
This will go one of three ways -

I will drive into the ditch on my way up there and be back home tonight.

I will find my seclusion and everything will go as planned and you won't hear from me again.

I will fail and be 'saved' and will check back here once I'm out of hospital and functioning again.

Love you all and hope that you all find what you're looking for !
Give life as many chances as you possibly can... believe it or not, there is a lot of beauty to be found.
14379745_10157577622245455_5986051248500094463_o.jpg
20180704_131344.jpg
 
Grandexit

Grandexit

Veteran
Dec 4, 2019
194
542
Be safe. Be well. You will be missed. Selfishly I’m hoping to see you back. All my best to you.
 
  • Hug
Reactions: Mainlænder
EmptyArms

EmptyArms

Veteran
Dec 1, 2019
148
407
OK all of my beautiful, sorrowful and misunderstood misfits of society.....

Just waiting for the washer to finish spinning so my clothes don't get all musty and gross.

Then I am off.
I am doing this without benzos or alcohol because I want it to be as 'accidental' as possible.
By all means, if you don't care about that.... every extra ounce of insurance helps.

I'm not afraid at all because I know it will be ridiculously peaceful and painless. I'm looking forward to having Jayda meet me at the end of the trail.

My only fear is that of not dying. That terrifies me.

So... I have my long johns on, my wool socks, sweaters, touque and mitts in my backpack... granola bars and juice to make the hike look legit.
All that stands in my way is all of this damn snow!!!

Several people are on media watch.
This will go one of three ways -

I will drive into the ditch on my way up there and be back home tonight.

I will find my seclusion and everything will go as planned and you won't hear from me again.

I will fail and be 'saved' and will check back here once I'm out of hospital and functioning again.

Love you all and hope that you all find what you're looking for !
Give life as many chances as you possibly can... believe it or not, there is a lot of beauty to be found.View attachment 24454View attachment 24455
What a gorgeous photo of you both:heart::heart:. And your garden looks like Eden. Xxx
 
less than

less than

not important
Jul 25, 2019
123
211
@Farmmaa I wish you your journey goes well and you'll find for what you seek. :hug::heart:
 
Skyview

Skyview

Going Blue
Dec 9, 2019
475
791
Beautiful photo of you and Jayda , love the garden . Take care Farmmaa :hug: :heart:
 
J

jgm63

Angelic
Oct 28, 2019
2,490
4,009
Wishing you a safe journey ahead once again.
I feel certain you are heading somewhere beautiful....

:heart: :heart: :heart: