FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Nem

Nem

Damn!
Sep 3, 2018
578
1,728
Another three hours of sleep night!!! This is goddamned ass fucking bullshit, even taking a sleeping med did fuck all. This is a slippery slope and the fact I’m having financial problems doesn’t help either, I stay offline even so as not to keep myself awake but I still cannot get back to sleep.
Right after I nearly died from meds my thoughts went straight to suicide which wasn’t helped by also tapering off a benzo at the same time. This is just fucked, my job is stressful but what can I do? I look sick from not sleeping so finding another job is pretty much impossible..I look like death
Peace/hugs
 
proton4ever

proton4ever

Veteran
Mar 15, 2019
106
300
Another three hours of sleep night!!! This is goddamned ass fucking bullshit, even taking a sleeping med did fuck all. This is a slippery slope and the fact I’m having financial problems doesn’t help either, I stay offline even so as not to keep myself awake but I still cannot get back to sleep.
Right after I nearly died from meds my thoughts went straight to suicide which wasn’t helped by also tapering off a benzo at the same time. This is just fucked, my job is stressful but what can I do? I look sick from not sleeping so finding another job is pretty much impossible..I look like death
Peace/hugs
Stay positive brother. Get some good rest tonight. You'll get through the day soon. Peace/ hugs
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
337
2,596
23
Another three hours of sleep night!!! This is goddamned ass fucking bullshit, even taking a sleeping med did fuck all. This is a slippery slope and the fact I’m having financial problems doesn’t help either, I stay offline even so as not to keep myself awake but I still cannot get back to sleep.
Right after I nearly died from meds my thoughts went straight to suicide which wasn’t helped by also tapering off a benzo at the same time. This is just fucked, my job is stressful but what can I do? I look sick from not sleeping so finding another job is pretty much impossible..I look like death
Peace/hugs
i sleep the same hours you sleep. that’s so frustrating while other people sleep like for 12 hours. every night my suicidal thoughts become more stronger than the day. i feel you buddy, feel free to text me ❤
 
Underscore

Underscore

Wise
Jul 31, 2018
276
550
UnUnited Kingdom
I miss sleep. I suppose any sort of meditation is out of the question? Sounds a bit beyond that. It used to help me though. Good luck.
 
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Rachel74

Rachel74

Illuminated
Sep 7, 2019
1,229
1,734
44
United Kingdom
I tried everything I could get my hands on to sleep. It’s probably the worse thing ever and those that don’t suffer with insomnia don’t get it.
Have you tried vaping weed?
 
Nem

Nem

Damn!
Sep 3, 2018
578
1,728
I tried everything I could get my hands on to sleep. It’s probably the worse thing ever and those that don’t suffer with insomnia don’t get it.
Have you tried vaping weed?
Hi, yes I’ve tried vaping weed. It helps a little bit but weed doesn’t agree with me too much when I feel like this
Peace/hugs
 
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WilliamKline

WilliamKline

Member
Sep 16, 2019
25
36
tapering off benzos is tough, I've gone through it. Try doing one thing at a time - stress at work, financial troubles and tapering the benzos is a lot to take all at once. I know it's hard to do but try taking babysteps and take pride in every little step, peace and love brother
 
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Nem

Nem

Damn!
Sep 3, 2018
578
1,728
tapering off benzos is tough, I've gone through it. Try doing one thing at a time - stress at work, financial troubles and tapering the benzos is a lot to take all at once. I know it's hard to do but try taking babysteps and take pride in every little step, peace and love brother
Thanks for the support!!!
I reached the end of my taper awhile back but I tapered too quickly originally. I only tapered for one month and then stopped the Valium, my dr then put me on Xanax which turned out to be a nightmare.
It was too short lasting and I got messed right up
Peace/hugs
 
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mk47

mk47

-
Sep 29, 2019
78
115
Thanks for the support!!!
I reached the end of my taper awhile back but I tapered too quickly originally. I only tapered for one month and then stopped the Valium, my dr then put me on Xanax which turned out to be a nightmare.
It was too short lasting and I got messed right up
Peace/hugs
Ask for pregablin
 
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drake4871

drake4871

Member
Sep 10, 2019
63
57
I mean melatonin pills might help, but i'm assuming you already tried them OP?
 
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darkworld15

darkworld15

Member
Sep 30, 2019
19
33
I used to have severe insomnia. It's horrible. I found it best to rotate lots of different things to keep tolerance from building.
And here's my current rotation list: CBD oil, melatonin, valerian root, kava kava, kratom, Yogi bedtime teas from Walmart, chamomile, and I also take the medication gabapentine. Combining some of these things works even better.

Is the problem that your tolerance gets too high over time? Or does nothing ever work even the first time?
 
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Nem

Nem

Damn!
Sep 3, 2018
578
1,728
I used to have severe insomnia. It's horrible. I found it best to rotate lots of different things to keep tolerance from building.
And here's my current rotation list: CBD oil, melatonin, valerian root, kava kava, kratom, Yogi bedtime teas from Walmart, chamomile, and I also take the medication gabapentine. Combining some of these things works even better.

Is the problem that your tolerance gets too high over time? Or does nothing ever work even the first time?
I have some brain injury from a dangerous med reaction. When I get depressed now my sleep goes right back to two hours a night, not much helps and my only option is to end my life
Peace/hugs
 
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N

N-IsMyHope

-
Aug 25, 2018
139
406
I have trouble sleeping as well but I do not take medicine as strong as you. I used to sleep at 2am and wake up at 5am and I could not go back to sleep. That was really suck and I totally understand how you feel. I was like a ghost. I can't work. I am upset.

I just found out the new way to take my sleeping pills and it works! I am taking my sleeping pill 2 different times. Example: At 11pm. I take 4 pills (my usual quantity that keep me sleep only 3 hrs) and 1 hr later(12am) I will take 2 more extra pills. (I hope you get what I try explain. I am not so good in English)

This way really makes me sleep longer by just taking more pills in the next hour. I will fall asleep at 1:30 am - 9.30am. Just don't start taking the first round too soon to force yourself to sleep early. Like, I tried to start taking at 10pm and It made me wake up too early around 5 am. Do you think this way will work for you?
 
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darkworld15

darkworld15

Member
Sep 30, 2019
19
33
The only medication I mentioned is gabapentine. Everything else is a healthy herb you can get at health food stores.

Except for Kratom. Some states it's not even legal in and the FDA keeps trying to make it illegal everywhere (I believe big pharma hates it because it helps people too much with many things).

Well I hope you find an answer soon. I know the agony :(.
 
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E

eve2004

I’m already gone
Aug 17, 2019
301
457
Out of my mind
Edible cannabis (legal in Canada) + benzos + diphenhydramine seems to boost each other and worked well for me. It’s like 1 + 1 + 1 = 5
 
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JimFord99

JimFord99

Elementalist
Aug 18, 2019
763
1,023
52
United Kingdom
If nothing else works, alc does. I have done it myself to excess till I have passed out. Got some sle p, but the waking up is just horrible. Hangover and even more extreme depression.
 
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Ruffian

Ruffian

Jumpin Jack Flash, it’s a gas gas gas
Jan 16, 2019
715
1,616
I have the same problem and people who sleep infuriate me. I also hate hearing, “Get some sleep.” Fuck off, if I could I would. Insomnia is the worst, most loneliest experience. That alone makes me suicidal. I’m bipolar, so an extra 100 mg of Seroquel helps a little.
 
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J

justanotherday

Wise
Jul 22, 2019
268
368
USA
I am beyond sick of living with sleeping problems too. I have tried everything and cannot get any relief. I finally broke down and went to a sleep specialist. So far all she is doing is having me keep sleep diary/ records. If she sh doesn't get more aggressive in trying to help me, by the next visit, I will not waste any more time with her.
 
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L

Libracusp_1022

Member
Jul 29, 2019
13
8
I take magnesium. It's good for a lot of things. I find that if I take it at bedtime I really do sleep better.
 
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W

woxihuanni

Illuminated
Aug 19, 2019
1,555
3,005
Very small trap
Even the worst nights of my life, I slept eventually. And I'm not talking a rough day at work, but rather my entire life is fucked sort of stuff. I wake up screaming but go back to sleep immediately.
 
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E

eve2004

I’m already gone
Aug 17, 2019
301
457
Out of my mind
Also, have you tried a bowl of pasta for dinner? With a side of potatoes? Can’t hurt and tastes good!
 
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Nem

Nem

Damn!
Sep 3, 2018
578
1,728
Even the worst nights of my life, I slept eventually. And I'm not talking a rough day at work, but rather my entire life is fucked sort of stuff. I wake up screaming but go back to sleep immediately.
Sorry to hear! My complete life is fucked up as well, it’s just completely screwed up
Peace/hugs
 
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C

Corraled

Member
Oct 11, 2019
22
23
First post. I myself first became suicidal due to the sudden onset of extreme insomnia a few months ago, when apparently i permanently lost the capacity to sleep for even 1 minute. I mistakenly took Ambien for a couple of months and it helped initially but i was getting addicted and exhibiting classic junkie behavior (i was developing tolerance to the pills, was doctor shopping for prescriptions, having arguments with uncooperative pharmacists, sweats and shivers etc). It was a bizarre experience how i suddenly devolved from "normal" to borderline drug addict in a matter of months, and all of this because my brain one day decided not to sleep anymore.

Terrified of the idea of actually becoming a junkie/homeless/jailed in actual real life i decided to stop Ambien cold turkey and give myself a chance to heal. Quitting Ambien was surprisingly easy to do so but i still cant sleep. Some nights (all nights?) i dont sleep at all, or at least i dont remember doing so. Im still afraid of what the long term implications of this perpetual sleeplessness are for me, or of what other random nasties life could/will throw at me in the future. Maybe a stroke, lower back pain, toothaches, unemployment? It almost feels as if the "reward" for not dying today is dying tomorrow while getting the chance of experiencing new medical problems for yet another day.
 

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