FIRST EVER SN DOCUMENTATION

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Fiadh

Fiadh

Member
Dec 12, 2019
35
55
Thank you so much for this thread Lotus. We can only guess how hard this is for you and I hope you'll be alright after everything. Everyone here is very grateful to you and Moonie, every new information is precious to this forum, but we cannot get more knowledge at the expense of other members health. So please take care of yourself ok?
 
I

I want to end it

Veteran
Apr 29, 2018
171
299
I took SN and other than the burning sensations (minor to me), I can't remember much after laying down. The burning is similar to acid reflux in the esophagus and stomach, slightly worse since it lingers. Like multiple people have stated it taste pretty bad, but if you've had hospital cocktails before it's a minor drawback.

I'd have like to hear if stomach coating meds like Sucralfate could work with SN, but Stan and Ginger are gone. Meto and SN are a bit rough on the stomach.

Compared to blowing my skull open, 100 runs of extreme hangman, parachuting w/e the parachute, drinking round-up, kissing moving transport vehicles, snorting excessive quantities of water, or a 9-5, SN was pretty peaceful. Only reason I survived was because someone called the cops after I was under, woke up handcuffed to the hospital bed.
Interesting. So other than burning in the stomach, you didn't feel any pain? How long did it take before you were unconscious?
 
AlreadyGone

AlreadyGone

Taking it day by day
Jan 11, 2020
733
1,171
it was kinda like this. tho this person is breathing way faster. i guess its different for everybody. Man this whole experience really messed me up. im so scared right now. freaking sucks that i have to go to work and pretend that everything is okay. i want to take a break from this website but i cant. everytime i keep going back. i keep deleting my history and logging out but its not working.
Lotus. You have done more than enough to contribute. I understand that this is very hard on you. Please take some time away from the forum so that you may take care of yourself. At this point, it is up to users to come to their own conclusion about the method with the information provided.
 
A

Alec

Arcanist
Apr 22, 2019
583
1,213
What you probably heard was https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_rattle. It is normal.
I thought this also might be why she lay on her stomach, because she couldn’t swallow and so she didn’t want her saliva to flow into her throat, but instead rather be on a stomach and have it flow out of your mouth.
I want to say thank you, to both of you. Incredibly brave and incredibly thoughtful of you to do this, share and provide all of us with more insight, information and perhaps more peace about what we ourselves will be going through. This means the world to me, thank you❤
it was kinda like this. tho this person is breathing way faster. i guess its different for everybody. Man this whole experience really messed me up. im so scared right now. freaking sucks that i have to go to work and pretend that everything is okay. i want to take a break from this website but i cant. everytime i keep going back. i keep deleting my history and logging out but its not working.
I’m certainly no expert but I feel like this is definitely because of excess saliva and inability to swallow it like the link in one of the previous posts said.
 
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hershberger

hershberger

Veteran
Dec 28, 2019
106
287
Lotus,

What you did for Moonie is by itself beyond comprehension. Witnessing the process...I can't imagine. But it was done out of love. Remember that.

And then, on top of that, you take it upon yourself to write up a complete description of it to educate the community, with details, politeness, and honesty. I can't put into words what this means to me. My plan is to use SN - if I ever go - and now I have a full description of it. Because of you.

Please know that we are in your debt and you are in our thoughts. Try to take some time for yourself; we'll be here when you get back and support you any way we can.
 
ChristopherWalken

ChristopherWalken

Member
Aug 15, 2019
99
233
If she was unconscious then she never felt anything even if her body was gasping for air. But i see your point we don't know if she was conscious. Here in this video is absolute video proof of how painLess the nitrogen method is so I'm looking to engineer my own nitrogen method for my suicide. If I can't get my nitrogen method to be 95%+ certain death for me then I'll go for SN .
I would just like to say thank you so much for this video it was very instructive, and to Moonie and Lotus I can't even express how grateful I am.
If the N gas method is painless as he described, produces euphoria, and death within minutes, I think I may have decided I'd rather go with this or F.
 
B

BaronVon

Member
Feb 24, 2019
57
82
I would just like to say thank you so much for this video it was very instructive, and to Moonie and Lotus I can't even express how grateful I am.
If the N gas method is painless as he described, produces euphoria, and death within minutes, I think I may have decided I'd rather go with this or F.
First time seeing this video so thanks for the material. my choice has always been a coin flip between SN and nitrogen via Scuba mask .. i think nitrogen it will be
 
S

SugarbushMtn

Veteran
Dec 15, 2019
151
146
First time seeing this video so thanks for the material. my choice has always been a coin flip between SN and nitrogen via Scuba mask .. i think nitrogen it will be
Where to get a nitrogen tank tho?, that is my problem..
 
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H

Heart of Ice

Chillin'
Sep 26, 2019
365
495
PPeH is quite balanced about the pain and discomfort caused by cyanide. Check the sub-heading "Can Cyanide Provide a Reliable and Peaceful Death ?" in the section on Lethal Inorganic Salts. I don't think it is fair nor accurate to state that PPH unequivocally considers potassium cyanide to be a "peaceful pill."

Reliable ? Yes

Peaceful ? Umm, errr, well . . . . . . . . . . . .
Derek Humphry has some good stuff about cyanide in his book. He comes to the same conclusion – cyanide is hella effective but the accounts are too varied to say for sure if it's peaceful or not.

I'd take cyanide over sodium nitrite any day, but good ol' SN's the only thing I have at the moment.

I'd have like to hear if stomach coating meds like Sucralfate could work with SN, but Stan and Ginger are gone.
You mean @gingerplum? Is she dead or has she just left the site?
 
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Starrywaters

Starrywaters

Member
Dec 10, 2019
63
145
I think given what we know about SN and how it shuts the body down the descriptions make sense.

The body will (passed out or not) fight to survive, vomiting with SN would make sense as your body’s natural inclination when it believes you have digested something that is making you poorly is to throw that product out of your stomach. This is how and why people die from vomiting after consuming too much alcohol and essentially drowning/asphyxiating; the seldom actually ‘wake’ up but their body acknowledges that removing the alcohol from the body is the best way to deal with the toxicity.

As for gasping for air as others have mentions the noises the body makes audibly when shutting down can be quite disconcerting but often doesn’t cause discomfort in those in the end of life stages or when in palliative care. The body will go through a process of shutting off the least important to the most important functions in order to try and preserve life - if we look at the process of the body shutting down it’s not uncommon to have irregular, unusual sounding or uneven breathing - only to be exacerbated by the fact that this chemical ultimately is lethal because it removed oxygen from your body.

The heart will pump harder to try and deliver more oxygen from the cells that transport it around our body. Consciousness is actually relatively low on the list of “essentials” for the body when it’s trying to battle an attack so it’s pretty common for people to experience this quite quickly too
 
WhyIsLife56

WhyIsLife56

Antinatalism + Efilism ❤️
Nov 4, 2019
1,079
2,993
I think given what we know about SN and how it shuts the body down the descriptions make sense.

The body will (passed out or not) fight to survive, vomiting with SN would make sense as your body’s natural inclination when it believes you have digested something that is making you poorly is to throw that product out of your stomach. This is how and why people die from vomiting after consuming too much alcohol and essentially drowning/asphyxiating; the seldom actually ‘wake’ up but their body acknowledges that removing the alcohol from the body is the best way to deal with the toxicity.

As for gasping for air as others have mentions the noises the body makes audibly when shutting down can be quite disconcerting but often doesn’t cause discomfort in those in the end of life stages or when in palliative care. The body will go through a process of shutting off the least important to the most important functions in order to try and preserve life - if we look at the process of the body shutting down it’s not uncommon to have irregular, unusual sounding or uneven breathing - only to be exacerbated by the fact that this chemical ultimately is lethal because it removed oxygen from your body.

The heart will pump harder to try and deliver more oxygen from the cells that transport it around our body. Consciousness is actually relatively low on the list of “essentials” for the body when it’s trying to battle an attack so it’s pretty common for people to experience this quite quickly too
This right here. I think people should read this or at least have some sort of basic knowledge of how it all works before getting all panicky and all.
Logic before emotions. :)
 
S

S1mpleme

Arcanist
Dec 27, 2019
520
571
Guys, I'm sorry for my words if that hurts any of you, but hear me out. I understand that everyone wants 100% painless and quickest death possible, like if you fall asleep, but this is still our life, before death we must feel anything. Every medicine and poisons have different effects and its unique to everyone. When we have headache we can take some pain relief pills - sometimes it works, sometimes useless or even makes everything worse (let's say if someone has allergy). There is no guarantee that any of methods we know 100% peaceful. N and SN are the best options probably compared to others. I can't imagine myself jumping or hanging for example, at least to me its painful extremely and make me scared. Fear is definitely the last what I would like to feel when CTB. Correct me if I'm wrong, in my opinion everyone wants to be sure 1000% in CTB before commit it, must answer yourself that this the only way and there are no other ways, and if you have fear or doubt it then you're not sure and not ready yet, cause this is the door out of this world and once it locks behind you, you won't never open it again to get back to this world. So prepare yourself and be ready if this is really what you want. Giving birth is hard, who said that death is easier.
 
WhyIsLife56

WhyIsLife56

Antinatalism + Efilism ❤️
Nov 4, 2019
1,079
2,993
Guys, I'm sorry for my words if that hurts any of you, but hear me out. I understand that everyone wants 100% painless and quickest death possible, like if you fall asleep, but this is still our life, before death we must feel anything. Every medicine and poisons have different effects and its unique to everyone. When we have headache we can take some pain relief pills - sometimes it works, sometimes useless or even makes everything worse (let's say if someone has allergy). There is no guarantee that any of methods we know 100% peaceful. N and SN are the best options probably compared to others. I can't imagine myself jumping or hanging for example, at least to me its painful extremely and make me scared. Fear is definitely the last what I would like to feel when CTB. Correct me if I'm wrong, in my opinion everyone wants to be sure 1000% in CTB before commit it, must answer yourself that this the only way and there are no other ways, and if you have fear or doubt it then you're not sure and not ready yet, cause this is the door out of this world and once it locks behind you, you won't never open it again to get back to this world. So prepare yourself and be ready if this is really what you want. Giving birth is hard, who said that death is easier.
That's for themselves to decide.
 
Crushed_Innocence

Crushed_Innocence

Hungry Ghost
Oct 16, 2019
430
1,529
I would like someone to video document my CTB.... Ill be using an exit bag.
Guys, I'm sorry for my words if that hurts any of you, but hear me out. I understand that everyone wants 100% painless and quickest death possible, like if you fall asleep, but this is still our life, before death we must feel anything. Every medicine and poisons have different effects and its unique to everyone. When we have headache we can take some pain relief pills - sometimes it works, sometimes useless or even makes everything worse (let's say if someone has allergy). There is no guarantee that any of methods we know 100% peaceful. N and SN are the best options probably compared to others. I can't imagine myself jumping or hanging for example, at least to me its painful extremely and make me scared. Fear is definitely the last what I would like to feel when CTB. Correct me if I'm wrong, in my opinion everyone wants to be sure 1000% in CTB before commit it, must answer yourself that this the only way and there are no other ways, and if you have fear or doubt it then you're not sure and not ready yet, cause this is the door out of this world and once it locks behind you, you won't never open it again to get back to this world. So prepare yourself and be ready if this is really what you want. Giving birth is hard, who said that death is easier.
Its true, many are searching for absolute painless... all your saying is there is no certain gurantee... we just have to choose from whatever methods we have available to us & do the best we can
 
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Divine Trinity

Divine Trinity

Pugna Vigil
Mar 20, 2019
296
538
From
Derek Humphry has some good stuff about cyanide in his book. He comes to the same conclusion – cyanide is hella effective but the accounts are too varied to say for sure if it's peaceful or not.

I'd take cyanide over sodium nitrite any day, but good ol' SN's the only thing I have at the moment.


You mean @gingerplum? Is she dead or has she just left the site?
From the looks of it, she only left the site.
 
xixxexixxxoxx1379

xixxexixxxoxx1379

Member
Apr 20, 2019
33
45
i just got here now. i want to say that i believe moonie did not suffer and this gave me more faith in the sn method. how can you both be so kind, so selfless? i do not know how to thank you. i can only wish all the best things in life for lotus and peace for moonie on her journey.
 
MaybeMaybeKnot

MaybeMaybeKnot

No ctrl-z when you ctb
Oct 25, 2019
342
603
Agreeing with many other comments. First, thanks to OP and Moonie. Second agonal breathing, Cheyne-Stokes respirations, etc, are very natural during death. In the US it’s happens all the time during lethal injection. Also, very common with hospice patients. I doubt Moonie was even aware of it, much less suffering.
 
M

morningdew

Veteran
Jul 8, 2019
164
236
Thank you! Finally a real account of what to expect.
 
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GrizzlyGrapefruit

GrizzlyGrapefruit

Member
Jun 17, 2019
57
197
00:40 Breathing slowes down. laying on her side

00:41 She coughs a bit and says fuck 3 times in a low voice. (perhaps theres some pain/ discomfort?) (this could also be the last time she was consious)

00:42 Really slow breathing. Almost looks like normal breathing
Everyone is talking about the gasping for air part past the part I quoted, but I truly believe that at this point she was unconscious and unaware of the situation happening. Why would she go from heavy breathing to slowly breathing?

Sure, she was breathing heavily beforehand, but only for a short while before it got to the part I quoted. I agree with the second statement Lotus makes: She was probably entering unconsciousness when she repeated fuck 3 times.

People are also worried about why she said this, wondering if it was because she was in pain or because she may have regretted her decision. I'm going to bring up the opposite and suggest maybe she felt euphoric. There's really no way of telling why she said that, but I'm siding with the idea that it was euphoria because it is actually quite a common theme when reading accounts of people losing consciousness due to lack of oxygen.
 
Debro

Debro

Wise
Dec 19, 2019
207
431
"00:41 She coughs a bit and says fuck 3 times in a low voice."

This part makes me emotional. Did she say that because it hurt, because of what she did or both :'(
We can only hypothesize. It could be SI kicking in. Remember she fainted nearly after, so she could've been drowsy and not even noticing it. It's like we are talking when we are heavy sedated or asleep.
 
GrizzlyGrapefruit

GrizzlyGrapefruit

Member
Jun 17, 2019
57
197
We can only hypothesize. It could be SI kicking in. Remember she fainted nearly after, so she could've been drowsy and not even noticing it. It's like we are talking when we are heavy sedated or asleep.
I agree completely. Personally, I'm still sticking with this method, and if anything, this account only made me feel more comfortable with SN. It only took her around 10 minutes of what i consider mild discomfort to get to this stage, and to me, that's quite comforting.
 
Throwmyselfaway

Throwmyselfaway

Not gone yet but soon
Jan 14, 2020
417
513
Thank you for the documentation. I hope she found peace and I’m sure she was glad you were there via video.
 
WhiteEyes

WhiteEyes

always late
Jan 20, 2020
67
97
I read a lot of Moon's posts and it's sad because she really went out of her way not to be sick.
I think the 2 day ritual is what would haunt me the most and make me physically ill.
 
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GrizzlyGrapefruit

GrizzlyGrapefruit

Member
Jun 17, 2019
57
197
30 min of struggling/puking (meto doing shit) is not peaceful in my book.
Even though the whole ordeal seemed gruesome, I believe that everything past/around the 10 minute mark she was unconscious for.
 
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Loothead3

Loothead3

Member
Mar 28, 2019
42
32
wishing i had N since that stuff is like getting drunk and dozing off peacefully afterwards
i dont want to be gasping for air
 
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56709

56709

a complete unknown...
Jun 4, 2019
81
238
Thanks to you and Moonicide for doing this, provides a sobering look at this method and it's potential drawbacks.

Horrified me to know she was suffering during her last moments though...
 
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Shelterfromthestorm

Shelterfromthestorm

Veteran
Sep 24, 2019
142
296
00:55 breathing becomes really slow

00:56 even slower

00:58 last breath
Was this easy to discern visually? Sometimes with webcam pixelation/video quality etc I would imagine. Were you going by the rise and fall of her chest? Were her breaths audible apart from the grunting? Sorry for my autism on the subject, just trying to establish how you were able to distinguish her last breath from say, a very heavy state of unconsciousness.
 
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