[Venting] Ex apparently dreamed about my suicide

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lunarpoppies420

lunarpoppies420

Wise
Oct 14, 2019
295
828
This morning my ex woke me up panicked and told me he had a dream that I committed suicide while he was at work with some sort of poison. He said in the dream I had been waiting to finish helping someone with something and that was the only thing keeping me going and I did it the day after I finished. I have no idea how he knew or why he dreamed this but this is all pretty much on the nose. He stopped me from ctb with sn before so maybe there's some subconscious knowledge but he has no idea I'm currently assisting a friend with finances. In fact, nobody knows but the friend I'm helping and that friend hates my ex so he'd never tell him. Now my ex has done a total 180 and apologized for holding me to higher standards and playing dumb about my disabilities. He says he thought if he acted like he expected more of me I might surprise myself. I have no idea how to feel about all this, it kinda blindsided me. I was always just under the impression he'd never understand. And the dream is extremely strange. What do you guys make of all this cause I'm at a loss
 
Charatoriel

Charatoriel

Set me free
Jan 13, 2020
44
56
I will say this I think that he probably cares for you enough to be able to call you to make sure you're still alive where is mine she wants me dead she has completely lost it and you know I'm not doing this for her I'm doing this for me.

the best I can say at this moment is be happy you have an ex that still cares and loves you enough to be able to consider your feelings Still.
 
lunarpoppies420

lunarpoppies420

Wise
Oct 14, 2019
295
828
I will say this I think that he probably cares for you enough to be able to call you to make sure you're still alive where is mine she wants me dead she has completely lost it and you know I'm not doing this for her I'm doing this for me.

the best I can say at this moment is be happy you have an ex that still cares and loves you enough to be able to consider your feelings Still.
He is a good guy, truly. He seems to be willing to do everything in his power to change this fate he "foresaw". Perhaps I'll let him have that chance but I also don't want him blaming himself if it doesn't change anything for me.
 
Charatoriel

Charatoriel

Set me free
Jan 13, 2020
44
56
Everyone deserves a second chance and sometimes a third, but if you're me I've run out of chances,so do what you can, either you try to live and be with this good guy or you succumb to the abyss and be happy with it.
 
lunarpoppies420

lunarpoppies420

Wise
Oct 14, 2019
295
828
Everyone deserves a second chance and sometimes a third, but if you're me I've run out of chances,so do what you can, either you try to live and be with this good guy or you succumb to the abyss and be happy with it.
I will say this, if one person has been willing to fight tooth and nail to keep me alive without giving up for 3 months now I suppose I can't be all bad
 
B

Backwood_tilt

UnEnlightened
Dec 27, 2019
898
1,655
I will say this, if one person has been willing to fight tooth and nail to keep me alive without giving up for 3 months now I suppose I can't be all bad
A breakup doesn’t mean you stop loving or caring about someone. It’s just the part of you that wants the relationship is dead, perhaps.

My impending CTB is partially due to my ex partner leaving me. I’m sure it’ll hurt her in some ways, but I know she has the strength to carry on. It’ll never not hurt, but she’ll more easily forget about me as time passes.
 
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Charatoriel

Charatoriel

Set me free
Jan 13, 2020
44
56
I understand this situation kind of fully I have a boyfriend currently who is quite literally obsessed with me but I cannot keep going any longer I love him to death I really love him and he's been fighting to keep me alive but with what my ex-girlfriend is done to me and the allegations I'm just done I can't keep doing this.
 
lunarpoppies420

lunarpoppies420

Wise
Oct 14, 2019
295
828
A breakup doesn’t mean you stop loving or caring about someone. It’s just the part of you that wants the relationship is dead, perhaps.

My impending CTB is partially due to my ex partner leaving me. I’m sure it’ll hurt her in some ways, but I know she has the strength to carry on. It’ll never not hurt, but she’ll more easily forget about me as time passes.
I'm actually the one who ended things specifically so I could ctb. I was hoping it'd help him get used to the absence
 
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Backwood_tilt

UnEnlightened
Dec 27, 2019
898
1,655
I'm actually the one who ended things specifically so I could ctb. I was hoping it'd help him get used to the absence
Oof, then i'm sure that's even more of a struggle for him.