Does anyone get irrationality angry at friends/family that expect you to live?

[OverTheRainbow]

I'm so fucking sick of people checking on me. They're only checking on me because I had a suicide attempt, before then no one fucking gave a shit. It's just because they don't want a death in their conscious. Just let me die ffs, I don't owe anyone anything especially after they made me feel so shitty.

 

[WornOutLife]

I know exactly what you're going through.
I feel angry and especially frustrated at them. I wish they could understand my reasons to ctb but they never will.

Anyway, I'm living alone and kinda "at peace" now. The ctb thoughts will haunt me no matter where or who I am with.

 

[loopylou]

Yep :(

wish people would stop trying to make me live for them

 

[Nodscene]

So very true. I had a recent attempt and one morning my dad was shining a flashlight in my eyes! I do get it but that's a shitty way to wake up.

No one really talks about anything in my family but although she meant well my sister tried giving me liquid gel Excedrin and some other over the counter medication to try and help my chronic pain that opiods have a hard time keeping under control. Needless to say I went through a week + of pure hell just so I could say I tried her meds.

Is this even on topic?!? Haha

 

[DivineMedicus]

So very true. I had a recent attempt and one morning my dad was shining a flashlight in my eyes! I do get it but that's a shitty way to wake up.

No one really talks about anything in my family but although she meant well my sister tried giving me liquid gel Excedrin and some other over the counter medication to try and help my chronic pain that opiods have a hard time keeping under control. Needless to say I went through a week + of pure hell just so I could say I tried her meds.

Is this even on topic?!? Haha

Your post is perfectly valid dw.

 

[sadgirl2002]

I know what you're going through, I always feel angry but I don't think it's irrational for any of us. I'm tired of people making me live for their sake, it's my life and I have the right to end it. I just wish everyone would fuck off and let me make my own choices. I will always be like this, it's been over ten years and I'm tired of seeing my life flash before my eyes and not knowing where all of that time went. I can't take everything that's happened and all that I've lost. My reasons are valid, everyone's reasons are valid. I hope I can end it soon.

 

[Nodscene]

Your post is perfectly valid dw.

dw? Sorry, I'm old and don't know what that means haha

 

[Nymph]

Yeah I feel you, no one cares until there’s a chance that they might experience “sadness” from a death of a close one. It’s so annoying...
I called a clinic and told them I wanted to go to psychotherapy because of suicidal thoughts and they got “worried” and told me to get hospitalized (they don’t have free psychotherapists) - not because they care about me but because they don’t want to have problems in case I ctb and they didn’t help me.
I totally feel you, my family keeps forcing me to stay alive

 

[DivineMedicus]

dw? Sorry, I'm old and don't know what that means haha

It means "don't worry".

 

[BornofDust7679]

While yes it has to do with people not wanting a guilty conscious on their minds, they also , at least some people, don't want to lose their toys. Some people are there for people to mess around with and bully either to fulfill their sadistic glee or to make themselves feel better about themselves, and losing that supply would not be good for them. Or to simply help them justify for themselves and others as kind, empathetic people t and others that that they tell themselves that they are. And sometimes its simply that in themselves and are just to enamored in themselves and their situations to really be helpful for suicidal people.

 

[lago]

After a lengthy abuse session from my wife the other day, I ran out of the house to drive off and just do it. She dragged me, told me she didn't want me to do it, and called the cops. Later, when she repeated that she didn't want me to do it. That made me angry because her treatment of me, for decades, makes it pretty clear she does want me to do it.

 

[crypticat]

Yes I totally do. I am not okay, and their idea of help does not make me any more okay. It's frustrating.