Does anyone find that the lockdown is making them feel.... Dare I say...

  • Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness, suicide, and the moral implications of the act itself. This is not a pro-suicide site. We do not encourage or aid suicide, and the information offered is for educational purposes only. Read our rules and FAQ for more information. We also offer a recovery subforum if you wish to get support.

    You can close this box by clicking the top right "X".

I

Idledays

Member
Mar 29, 2020
16
47
Better?

I know that's a really controversial thing to say because I know so many people are struggling as a result of Covid 19.
The virus has wreaked devastation and hurt and so many more people are struggling.

But I wondered if anyone has noticed any more positive changes alongside the trauma?

I personally have quite enjoyed the lockdown element. I miss being able to see my mum enormously. That really hurts. Like, a lot.

But the not having to socialise bit, (or rather the expectation, not going into an office (I'm lucky in that I can still work from home), etc has made me feel LESS lonely.

I felt isolated in a world so busy and where everyone appeared happy and keen to socialise. The pace of life pre lockdown makes my mind boggle and i kinda worry about how ill cope as things gradually return to normal.

I dont want to cause offence to anyone that is finding this one of the most difficult times of their lives, or who have lost loved ones. This situation has been devastating on so many levels.

I just wondered if anyone feels more at ease with the pace of life (deadly virus, aside)....

Or just me?
 
BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

I'm a BPD Barbie Girl living in a suicidal world
Dec 1, 2019
1,362
3,938
I had this thought earlier. For me, it's forcing me to distance from family and friends therefor making upcoming ctb easier.
 
  • Hug
Reactions: WinterFaust
stonemason

stonemason

Member
Apr 11, 2020
30
59
I understand what you mean. I strangely do feel less lonely too. I guess, for me, it was escaping the rat race, and the anxiety that it caused. Not having to deal with that makes me feel a bit better. I'll probably miss this aspect of this quarantine when things go back to normal.
Now generally my quarantine has been awful because I'm stuck in an abusive and toxic environment, but yeah, noticing this positive change even if it's really small is kind of interesting, puts things in perspective I guess.
 
Underscore

Underscore

Moebius Potato
Jul 31, 2018
3,811
7,468
I was pretty much alone before. I'm just as alone now. I feel just as bad now as I did before. I try not to but it doesn't change the facts.
 
I

Idledays

Member
Mar 29, 2020
16
47
@Underscore it's probably little consolation and I know its not really the same, but you have people here to open up and share your feelings. You're not totally alone.

Sorry if my post came across as insensitive as I know a lot of people will feel the same. <3
I understand what you mean. I strangely do feel less lonely too. I guess, for me, it was escaping the rat race, and the anxiety
Now generally my quarantine has been awful because I'm stuck in an abusive and toxic environment, but yeah, noticing this positive change even if it's really small is kind of interesting, puts things in perspective I guess.
Now generally my quarantine has been awful because I'm stuck in an abusive and toxic environment, but yeah, noticing this positive change even if it's really small is kind of interesting, puts things in perspective I guess.
That's awful to hear. If you want to open up about the situation I'm more than happy to listen. Wish I could do more to change that.
 
Last edited:
ldlzrs

ldlzrs

Member
Jun 28, 2019
55
122
Quarantine has been awesome, I also work from home and I love not having to deal with the bullshit office life and fake smiles and all the rest of it. Furthermore, there were some free days around Easter which were pure bliss. Fewer people on the streets, more quiet, more time to sleep.

But now, the country is starting to open again, and it's feeding my desire to ctb. I don't want to go back to "normal". I hated "normal"!

Lockdown made me feel better, but the prospect of it ending is making me feel worse than ever, worse than before it started!
 
iknowwhatyouredoing

iknowwhatyouredoing

something inside turned the lights out
Jan 30, 2020
13
15
quarantine has changed a lot of things for the better for me. even though things are a little tense with my roomies all being home all the time, i have a lot more time to focus on my hobbies, meditation, reading, etc... but as ldlzrs said im also worried about my state opening. luckily i had some money saved up before this started but it just means ill have to go get another shitty job with shitty people and i feel that im just going to regress
 
  • Hug
Reactions: ldlzrs
Pryras

Pryras

...but not for me
Feb 11, 2020
277
710
My day to day life hasn’t changed since quarantine so it hasn’t made much of a difference to my emotional state. Although I find it kind of....nice? That everyone is on the same pause. I don’t feel as shitty not being productive or going out since no one is really.
 
oneess

oneess

Suicidal Poly-addict in recovery
May 5, 2019
39
93
When the quarantine started I had a pretty stable daily life for the first time of my life, so when it started I was still "high" from being okay(would say happy, but not that much) and felt I had it in me and could stand it. Past forward 2 weeks, I'm at my town, no buses(don't have a car) and I'm really distant from my friends, stuck at my house with my mother. I started feeling lonely, and because of that I pretty much distanced myself from my friends online and didn't answer any calls, just felt like u don't had any power left in me, relapsed on drugs too, didn't help much haha.

Things are going better this week, there are buses again and I can get out of my house again, I try to be as active as I can be, like meeting people or just wandering around, but the moment I'm alone and back at my house, I'm finished. It's like this saying, "what comes up must come down", and it's pretty accurate for those last days, I hate it.
 
Fumito

Fumito

May 1, 2020
251
355
my life didn't really change when lockdown began. i just have a reason to not go outside now. for me personally, this has been pretty great.
 
BabyYoda

BabyYoda

F*ck this sh!t I'm out
Dec 30, 2019
558
1,536
Kinda like it, except that I can't see my friends in person. Academic workloads will be reduced next school year if this continues. Won't have to continue my miserable normal life path for now. Can go at my own pace. Can oversleep if I want.
 
TacoBell

TacoBell

Member
May 18, 2020
20
33
Lol nah you're not alone
Though the online work has amped up my depression so... Maybe Im not completely on board here lol
 
V

very-dead-llama

Member
Feb 2, 2020
70
203
Yes. Sort of. I still want to ctb as soon as I can, and that is right after the economy fully reopens.

The biggest damage the lockdown is doing to people's mental health is loneliness, which I've built a strong tolerance to my entire life. Loneliness is to me what darkness is to a blind person. The second damage is anxiety, but the choice to CTB has given me security. So the lockdown has not taken as maximum a toll on me as it has on others my age.

Instead the lockdown has offered me relief from the rush of a society that is outpacing me faster than I can understand it. It has given me time to think and space to rest...
 
T

TotallyIsolated

Veteran
Nov 25, 2019
138
366
No, the opposite.

I live alone. I almost never leave the house. I'm totally alone 99% of the time. Its like all the worst stuff I was afraid of came true, AGAIN.
 
  • Like
Reactions: xirc79
Covidblows

Covidblows

Member
May 18, 2020
14
28
I feel....
Unfortunately the world from covid is now living the way I have had to live being in healthcare. So I have mixed feelings. I feel sorrow so many have to deal with all that goes with this illness and I have a side that feels like... ok now this is what I do on the daily and now maybe people realize why I’m half out of my mind.
Always having to stare sickness and death in the face does the most f’ed up tap dance on your soul. The entire world is going thru this now and it’s both sad and illuminating.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Isisnefert
I

Isisnefert

Member
Mar 17, 2020
6
0
[QUOTE = "Idledays, publicación: 708853, miembro: 16634"]
¿Mejor?

Sé que es algo realmente controvertido porque sé que muchas personas están luchando como resultado de Covid 19.
El virus ha dañado devastación y daño, y muchas más personas están luchando.

Pero me preguntaba si alguien ha notado más cambios positivos junto con el trauma.

Personalmente, disfrutó bastante el elemento de bloqueo. Echo de menos poder ver a mi madre enormemente. Que realmente duele. Me gusta mucho

Pero el hecho de no tener que socializar un poco (o más bien la expectativa de no ir a una oficina), etc., me ha hecho sentir MUCHO más solo.

Me sentí aislado en un mundo tan ocupado y donde todos parecían felices y ansiosos por socializar. El ritmo de vida previo al bloqueo hace que mi mente se tambalee y me preocupe un poco por lo mal que vaya a medida que las cosas vuelvan a la normalidad.

No quiero ofrecer a nadie que encuentre este uno de los momentos más difíciles de sus vidas, o que haya perdido a sus seres queridos. Esta situación ha sido devastadora en muchos niveles.

Me preguntaba si alguien siente más un gusto con el ritmo de la vida ...

O solo yo?
[/ CITAR]
Desde que el mundo se detuvo, creo que nuestro problema es esta sociedad enferma, nosotros no somos los enfermos