Does anyone else want to ctb because they feel incompetent?

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Squiddy

Squiddy

Tired and dead inside
Sep 4, 2019
423
596
21
I feel so stupid. There's so many things I don't know how to do such as taxes and changing a tire on a car. I'm not cut out for life at all. My mom should have aborted me. It's not my main reason for wanting to ctb, but it's one.
 
SoupSnakes

SoupSnakes

-
Nov 11, 2019
217
709
Newcastle, UK
You shouldn’t feel incompetent for those reasons. A lot of people don’t know how to do those things (myself included!). You can’t help it if you’ve been brought up and not shown how to do those things, don’t beat yourself up about it!
 
TearyEyedQueen

TearyEyedQueen

In the wrong timeline
Nov 14, 2019
211
362
I don't know how to do those either but honestly we shouldn't blame ourselves. We are forced to learn so much useless stuff by the education system that we don't have time to invest into learning real life skills.
I didn't know how to buy a fricking train-ticket until I was 18 because I never really travelled with anyone before.
It used to be one of my reasons, but I feel much better when I remember there's a lot more of us.
 
SinisterKid

SinisterKid

Be the change you wish to see in the world
Jun 1, 2019
1,913
5,134
Most things in this life can be learned. I used to mentor 16-18 year olds just entering the workplace for the first time. Most of them had no confidence in their abilities, but once we got them learning things in ways that suited them [we all have different ways of learning] some of the transformations were amazing.

I am ancient and I have no idea about taxes.
 
Quax

Quax

Member
Nov 16, 2019
68
142
@Squiddy Im sure that you have strengths and weaknesses as everyone... so there’s no need to know everything. Just try to be you and you will find out how to play out your skills and how to avoid weaknesses....
 
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crea_the_hopeless

crea_the_hopeless

Ugly queen
Feb 27, 2019
77
247
This is one of the main reasons I want to CTB
 
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Moonicide

Moonicide

ᴘʜᴀꜱᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ
Nov 19, 2019
370
925
ʟᴀ ʟᴜɴᴀ
I understand completely, love. I can't do any of those things either. Hell, I can't even drive... Let alone have a job.
Like many people have said here, we all have our strengths and weaknesses. And I do believe there is at least one thing you know how to do and you do it well.
But living a sheltered life is beyond painful, and I am sorry you're struggling like many of us here. :heart:
 
T

TimeToBiteTheDust

I don't live, I exist.
Nov 7, 2019
253
396
Yes. I have chronic pain and it's hard to focus on daily activities. At work or hobbies like playing guitar. I am not the same anymore. I feel useless. I'm stupid. I want to die.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Tired and dead inside
Sep 4, 2019
423
596
21
Bud, last time I tried to make myself a hot meal I set fire to the kitchen. Seriously! However, I'm very creative and good with animals. I bet you have loads of good qualities you're overlooking.
What were you trying to cook?
 
mediocre

mediocre

this place is death
Nov 9, 2019
227
445
26
Ireland
100% I feel like one of the dumbest people on earth with an iq of about 10. I live alone but I cannot take care of myself properly, pay my bills etc without help. I can’t cook, can’t work, I even have trouble following written instructions! I need help every day. Feel helpless.
 
Raven Moon

Raven Moon

I lie dead gone under red sky
Feb 14, 2019
290
1,072
I can definitely relate. I was never taught anything important or any life lessons because I was severely sheltered as a child. I am so embarrassed by my lack of knowledge about basic things and I am in my late 20s. If I was younger I wouldn't feel so bad but late 20s with absolutely no life experience is very very hard for me. Most everything I learned was self taught or from my fist bf. It is just so hurtful when people say "I can't believe you don't know how to do that or I can't believe you don't know that at your age" ...so yeah it's one of my very long list of reasons to ctb.
 
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Sweet emotion

Sweet emotion

-
Sep 14, 2019
1,341
1,872
I feel so stupid. There's so many things I don't know how to do such as taxes and changing a tire on a car. I'm not cut out for life at all. My mom should have aborted me. It's not my main reason for wanting to ctb, but it's one.
I'm physically incompetent so yes that is one of my reasons for wanting to die. The lack of freedom I'm able to have and all the things I can't physically do which has left me with no quality of life what so ever. Maybe you could try a task a week. Even if you have to ask someone for help. I'm sure you're not stupid. And no one unless they're a CPA knows how to do taxes so don't blame yourself for that one. That is friggin hard! But I'm sure with some lessons you could learn how to change a tire and do so many other things that you don't think possible. Have a little faith in yourself.
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Tired and dead inside
Sep 4, 2019
423
596
21
100% I feel like one of the dumbest people on earth with an iq of about 10. I live alone but I cannot take care of myself properly, pay my bills etc without help. I can’t cook, can’t work, I even have trouble following written instructions! I need help every day. Feel helpless.
I also need help paying bills
 
A

ArtVandelay

Wise
Apr 15, 2019
267
637
There's so many things I don't know how to do such as taxes and changing a tire on a car.
Those are things you can learn how to do in less than one day if you're feeling motivated. For taxes, you just need TurboTax and it guides you step by step, so you know exactly what to do even if it's your first time. And for changing a tire, there are hundreds of straightforward YouTube videos that demonstrate the process.

I do relate to feeling incompetent though. This world is too competitive. It's hard to be motivated to learn new things when you know there will always be others who are better at it than you.
 
passenger27

passenger27

Wise
Aug 25, 2019
293
339
Don't worry, I'm not the brightest color in the crayon box myself. I try to tell myself it's just hard to concentrate with my mental illness, but my do-it-yourself family members basically think I'm retarded. Pretty much literally, because I can't fix cars, or be a carpenter, or any other things they can do. It's def one of my reasons to ctb.
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Tired and dead inside
Sep 4, 2019
423
596
21
I can definitely relate. I was never taught anything important or any life lessons because I was severely sheltered as a child. I am so embarrassed by my lack of knowledge about basic things and I am in my late 20s. If I was younger I wouldn't feel so bad but late 20s with absolutely no life experience is very very hard for me. Most everything I learned was self taught or from my fist bf. It is just so hurtful when people say "I can't believe you don't know how to do that or I can't believe you don't know that at your age" ...so yeah it's one of my very long list of reasons to ctb.
I was also sheltered as a child
 
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D

Desi

New Member
Aug 16, 2019
3
0
I don’t feel incompetent. I know i have capabilities. It’s just I’m fucked up emotionally, i have low tolerance to frustration, i think i know what in my education trapped me into this. I’m emotionally incapable and that ruins my capabilities, I can’t express them, i’ve become an underachiever. I doubt i can change, perhaps a bit but is it worth it ?
I can definitely relate. I was never taught anything important or any life lessons because I was severely sheltered as a child. I am so embarrassed by my lack of knowledge about basic things and I am in my late 20s. If I was younger I wouldn't feel so bad but late 20s with absolutely no life experience is very very hard for me. Most everything I learned was self taught or from my fist bf. It is just so hurtful when people say "I can't believe you don't know how to do that or I can't believe you don't know that at your age" ...so yeah it's one of my very long list of reasons to ctb.

When you don’t know something, do you ask for help or guidance or are you afraid of it ?
By my experience, asking for guidance, saying « i don’t know how to do this, can you help me ? » attracts kindness not scorn. I know some people can find it charming and sweet and you attract sympathy. Really. Showing humility (or derision, which is funny humility) can be seductive with girls, i think.
But if you’re afraid to ask, because you feel lame and you’re shameful, you cut yourself from the positive reaction and close doors.
Nobody was born knowing things, you know. There was always a first time for everything and you need a little push.
 
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W

WallsClosingInn

Member
Dec 8, 2019
26
14
Serbia
I feel so stupid. There's so many things I don't know how to do such as taxes and changing a tire on a car. I'm not cut out for life at all. My mom should have aborted me. It's not my main reason for wanting to ctb, but it's one.
im in a similar position.im 31 year old never had job,felling uselless,like shit
 
NeCkDeEp

NeCkDeEp

Veteran
Nov 30, 2019
169
393
Yeah I feel you, in all honesty I don't know any thing I'm good at
 
TowerUpright

TowerUpright

Wise
May 26, 2019
277
442
That's partially my problem. I am incompetent in communication and letting myself have my own voice. I can't say no to my spouse. I can't express my feelings to her or any family member because I'm afraid of what they'd think of me. Essentially I'm in my marriage because I couldn't express my feelings and now am trapped. I'm not even a good father. I doubt my kids would miss me, except for my paycheck.

It sounds like some of your skill deficits could be overcome by mentoring? Or, at least YouTube?? Maybe not paying bills.. but maybe job / trade training??

I feel for you, sister. Hope you can get the skills you're looking for.
 
FohPah

FohPah

Member
Dec 7, 2019
23
52
Even learning skills is, itself, a skill. That's what kills me.

I'm great at providing useless philosophical commentary, but I'm useless at translating thoughts into productive actions.

Case in point: this post.
 
2

2211264

Member
Sep 7, 2018
148
496
I feel so stupid. There's so many things I don't know how to do such as taxes and changing a tire on a car. I'm not cut out for life at all. My mom should have aborted me. It's not my main reason for wanting to ctb, but it's one.
Dont feel Bad. Im the opposite. I am very competent. I have an engineering career and moved out of home at 16. taxes, running a business, changing tyres on a car through to major smash repairs of a car. I see everything and break it down. I just know get so pissed off and frustrated because the world is set up for semi competent and incompetent people. I struggle with following rules and fitting into society, because i just do what is needed. its fucked, i dont fit the mould and its not a good thing.

its good to learn skills though and I do encourage you to try.
 
ScorpiusDragon

ScorpiusDragon

Arcanist
Mar 25, 2019
544
1,666
Terabithia
I've been told I'm a genius, and I've been considered gifted since I was a kid. But oftentimes, I don't feel smart or capable at all because I'm terrible with daily living things that come naturally for most people.
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Tired and dead inside
Sep 4, 2019
423
596
21
I've been told I'm a genius, and I've been considered gifted since I was a kid. But oftentimes, I don't feel smart or capable at all because I'm terrible with daily living things that come naturally for most people.
I've also been called a genius when I don't feel like it at all
 
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LegaliseIt!

LegaliseIt!

Veteran
Nov 29, 2019
165
240
Canada
There is a family in a nearby city that owns a bright pink McMansion because I transposed two numbers on a spreadsheet. It didn’t end well.