- May 31, 2019
Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness, suicide, and the moral implications of the act itself. This is not a pro-suicide site. We do not encourage or aid suicide, and the information offered is for educational purposes only. Read our rules and FAQ for more information. We also offer a recovery subforum if you wish to get support.
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Entirely too true!!I may be wrong, but I think excessive remorse and regret are one of the symptoms of depression. Seems to me there are plenty of destructive, toxic people walking around with no regret or remorse whatsoever for the pain they cause, while too many of those who probably hurt no one intentionally are sitting home agonizing over every little thing.
What is it that makes you feel so guilty and regretful? :( this sounds honestly terrible (but also relatable)I have so much guilt and regret. It consumes my whole day. I fear waking up in the morning. I’ve turned into a recluse. I recently got diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder after a 6 month episode of psychosis. My whole family acts different towards me. I would do anything to go back in time. Now my days are consumed with thoughts of how to ctb. My SI is so strong though because I have kids. I don’t know what to do. Every day hurts so bad. I’m sorry you all are dealing with guilt. It really is a nightmare.
Omg I'm going through the exact same thing right now. Everyday living with regret and pain...I want it to all end now too!After years of me not being able to ever be happpy enough for those around me and not being able to find lasting joy, my wife finally decided to call it quits. It was my greatest fear. All I have left is shame and regret. Everything I see from pumpkins to someone putting a roof on (we had that done to our home last year) brings me pain. The pictures on Facebook, pictures at the homes of family of us when we were happy, quesadillas (what I always made my kids for dinner), dads with their kids at the bus stop. I know when I ctb it will hurt them also, but I feel less than the hurt I will keeping causing being alive.
I feel the same way in every aspect of what you have said. Self esteem, confidence, social skills, all shattered! Everyone keeps telling me that time will heal but I do not feel that way.Similar in some respects to me. I don't suffer from a diagnosed condition, but I know I am depressed as hell. Coming up to Christmas soon, for the past 7 years it has become torture as it was, as a family the best time of the year ever. The fact I have been robbed of all the 'family man things' things that I so craved and desired and driven into the ground financially leave me no other choice. I picture the future and I hate every single aspect of it. I used to be such a social animal and now I am a hermit. I spend my days doing absolutely nothing. My guilt comes from not fighting harder, but the laws in the UK provide little to no support for fathers so it would have been futile. I have no future apart from a dark and lonely one. I have no hope for myself for I am now far too damaged to come back. I have no self esteem for the thing I have become. Others may say that is a position you could recover from, I beg to differ.
I'm here for the same reason. My husband ctb. PM me anytime. I'm sorry for your painMy boyfriend of 2 years, the person I loved more than anything committed suicide. We lived together, we did everything together and yet...I never knew he was depressed. I never knew he was suffering.... I wasn't able to see it, to figure it out, to help him...and now he's gone and that guilt is why I'm here. I miss him so much, I really wish I could have made him happy. He deserved happiness.
there is so much truth to that paragraph.I may be wrong, but I think excessive remorse and regret are one of the symptoms of depression. Seems to me there are plenty of destructive, toxic people walking around with no regret or remorse whatsoever for the pain they cause, while too many of those who probably hurt no one intentionally are sitting home agonizing over every little thing.
It was not your job to make him happy, it was not your failure to do so that caused him to exit...in relationships happiness is a creation of togetherness and love. you cant make someone happy anymore than you can make pigs fly. I am sure you tried but some of us are just to overwhelmed by the world. I am sure you being in his life gave him more time then he would have had without you... I am so sorry for your loss.I'm here for the same reason. My husband ctb. PM me anytime. I'm sorry for your pain