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Discussion Describe how your day is going

BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,227
Feel kinda crappy. Managed to do a quick baby wipe bath earlier, went to a friend's house for a minute. Bought my mom some flowers because her birthday is coming up.

Just laying in bed, sore and tired. Have some cold coffee to sip on - I actually like coffee even if it's lukewarm though. I know, it's blasphemy lmao
Today has been kinda shite. I have a dentist appointment, and because of quarantine + being depressed I kinda just like only brushed my teeth a handful of times these past few months. So I'm kinda not looking forward to my dentist's disappointment. I also got woken up by my mom very early this morning to her swinging my door open (which has bells on it), yelling at me because it took her 20 minutes allegedly to find the lid to a container and how it's all my fault because the containers are out of order and that I should do more because I'm "22 (which I'm not) and useless," but I kinda just got tired of meticulously organizing and reorganizing them when these people tear through them like wild beasts and then don't put them back. She then slammed my door so hard it woke my sister up in the next room over. So yeah SMELLY day, but I do get to see my little brother today for the first time since quarantine started so I'm excited for that <33

I hope everyone's days are going well, and if they aren't that tomorrow will be better ^^
How did the dental appointment ago? Did you and your brother do something special together, or were you just hanging out? I'm glad you got to see him :)
 
BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

I'm a BPD Barbie Girl living in a suicidal world
Joined
Dec 1, 2019
Messages
2,122
Woke up to emails from debt collectors, still stuck in my shitty situation, just been playing Fortnite all day, at least the sun is also out after the bad weather we have had in the UK.
 
Underscore

Underscore

Nothing is forgotten.
Joined
Jul 31, 2018
Messages
4,724
Rain has stopped me going outside to continue work on the vacant plot. I spent all day in front of the PC drinking coffee then felt wired, sick and exhausted :shy:
 
Sinai Silence

Sinai Silence

I think I'ma die alone inside my room
Joined
Jul 6, 2020
Messages
754
Pretty sh*tty day, I just keep wondering why I never feel anything anymore, I feel so apathetic.
 
puppy9

puppy9

Bohemian Hog
Joined
Jun 13, 2019
Messages
758
Contemplating Suicide. My family killed what is left in me yesterday. I wish I can exit and make them regret their action by writing a letter about the abuse they put me through. But I need to thread carefully because I do not want to botch my suicide.
 
Viro_Major

Viro_Major

Rad maker
Joined
Jul 30, 2020
Messages
369
Spaced out, out of reach to my own self, with twisted guts ...all due to an AD switch decided on, not well tolerated.
End of the day, lonely, lacking some real presence, wishing some virtual figures could materialise themselves by my side. Fading to sleep at 9, not fighting exceptionally
 
Underscore

Underscore

Nothing is forgotten.
Joined
Jul 31, 2018
Messages
4,724
Today I cleared out the surface drain in the back alley. I heaped all the weeds in a rubble tub and oiked it over the six foot fence to the field.
I forgot to hold on to the handle. :shy:
Now I will have to hack through twenty feet of undergrowth over council dumped rubbish to get to the damn thing.
What a plonker. :blarg:
 
grungeCat

grungeCat

Awkward
Joined
Jul 5, 2020
Messages
189
Spent the whole day in my room as always. However I feel a lot calmer since I decided to give up. I have just tested my cable I wanted to use to ctb and it seems I have to search for another ligature as some cracks showed up on the rubber isolation after pulling it down.
 
coeur.brisé

coeur.brisé

Illuminated
Joined
Jun 4, 2020
Messages
1,347
I was laying down all day, dizzy from PTSD. I took 3x the Cannabis i'm prescribed (can't remember the dose) and I think I was high for the first time. I'm not sure I like it. I was sobbing while I was half alseep, I couldn't make a complete thought and I couldn't keep any thought longer than a few seconds. I couldn't focus anything and I felt like I was somewhere else and had to orient myself a few times. But I slept for a few hours and the migraine is a little better.
 
Sinai Silence

Sinai Silence

I think I'ma die alone inside my room
Joined
Jul 6, 2020
Messages
754
Right now I'm being hit with the holy trinity of physical pain in my head pretty hard right now. If any of you guys know where I can find a guillotine please hmu.
 
coeur.brisé

coeur.brisé

Illuminated
Joined
Jun 4, 2020
Messages
1,347
A bit productive interspersed with bouts of sobbing. Good times. :meh:
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,227
Today has actually been pretty good. I've been restless as hell, which has sucked... but I've been able to keep myself busy today. Kind of pissed at myself because I ended up continuing bad habits to deal with emotions but whatever. Honestly it's not that important.
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Joined
Sep 4, 2019
Messages
3,880
Today was an okay day. My desire to ctb wasn't as strong, but was still kinda there
 
Raven Moon

Raven Moon

See my heart I decorate it like a grave
Joined
Feb 14, 2019
Messages
1,091
Pretty shitty
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Joined
Sep 4, 2019
Messages
3,880
My day is going ok. Ctb thoughts aren't as bad as they could be. I guess my cocktail of meds are working because I've been taking them consistently :) I still have them though
 
Nessie

Nessie

Cynical
Joined
Aug 23, 2020
Messages
252
Thought it would be my last. It isn't. Feels weird, like I'm in limbo. +10 to faith in humanity because of this community, -10 to faith in humanity because of drunk assholes that kept me from CTB IRL. I want to pause life to rethink everything.
 

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