[Venting] Dangerous people on the forum

  • Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness, suicide, and the moral implications of the act itself. This is not a pro-suicide site. We do not encourage or aid suicide, and the information offered is for educational purposes only. Read our rules and FAQ for more information. We also offer a recovery subforum if you wish to get support.

    You can close this box by clicking the top right "X".

Status
Not open for further replies.
AlreadyGone

AlreadyGone

Taking it day by day
Jan 11, 2020
589
837
I do not care how desperate a person is. Everyone still need to use common sense. There is never an excuse to not use common sense. At this point, he would have been reported:

He said he would tie my wrists, hang me, cut me down and dump me on the beach
 
L0ne1ygh0st

L0ne1ygh0st

Master
Oct 1, 2019
412
1,496
This is the most pathetic cry for attention ever....

Also considering suicide while you have kids is disgusting.
Thanks, much appreciated.

Why would you have gone into this offer at all? Getting involved in such an offer is extremely naive and dangerous.
I was suffering and desperate. May be naive but I just wanted a way out.

I do not care how desperate a person is. Everyone still need to use common sense. There is never an excuse to not use common sense. At this point, he would have been reported:

He said he would tie my wrists, hang me, cut me down and dump me on the beach
You clearly don't understand desperation then.
 
GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Pensively Prolific
Jan 11, 2020
3,354
6,514
I really wish people would stop with the victim blaming.

Not coming back with, "Yeah, but she..." Just, bullshit. The blame is on the perpetrator, otherwise the police would have arrested her.

Perpetrators are adept at manipulation and getting a potential victim to override their common sense and self-protective instincts. A person who is contemplating suicide has even less self-protective motivation.

The OP did a service to the forum by sharing her story.
 
D

drowinginsorrowww

Unwise
Jan 28, 2020
440
516
This is the most pathetic cry for attention ever....

Also considering suicide while you have kids is disgusting.
Why would you have gone into this offer at all? Getting involved in such an offer is extremely naive and dangerous.
I do not care how desperate a person is. Everyone still need to use common sense. There is never an excuse to not use common sense. At this point, he would have been reported:

He said he would tie my wrists, hang me, cut me down and dump me on the beach
What the actual fuck?!
I'm horrified enough that this happened. Now there are yet more toxic people right here on the thread.
You blame and provide no resolution. People get tricked into things they don't wanna do, it's called 'being really fucking emotional'. People confess to crimes they did not commit given enough pressure, think this will help?
Shame on you (not OP). If someone got scammed out of money then yeah, okay it's just money. This is a life and a child. Have some fucking respect.
For the first time I'm ashamed of the replies here. Please do not think this is the consensus, it is not. I am glad you have reported this, it's the first time I've witnessed something like that while I've been here. I hope your doing alright
 
L

Living sucks

no one can understand
Mar 27, 2020
1,934
1,268
He also told me he worked in cyber security so it seemed like he knew my location and all of my personal details . At this point I felt like if I said no he would just come and kill me anyway so I had started looking at bus tickets.
For every other desperate emotional irrational member here... this is a tactic used to make you feel just like OP did. If this were the case, any sociopath psycho killer could just find you via your user name and posts posts. Don’t fall for it! Unless you give them other info about yourself in a pm like email address or phone number, most can’t find you. Report them

OP. @L0ne1ygh0st Please send all these messages to the mods. It’s very easy just hit the report button. Or take screenshots and send them. It’s very important this perp be on the radar via their IPN if they try to create another account .. or they could keep using the existing account if they are not reported! This is imperative.
 
Last edited:
K-O

K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
578
1,446
This it a mental health forum! and is meant for people who are suicidal! ffs!
responses like- irrational?? disgusting?? naive?? pathetic?!?!
THAT LOGIC is dangerous, laughable and contributes to "pro life" mentality and bullying-- THAT is disgusting..
im so sad that there are members here that don't really GET IT.. not to mention the predators..
OP im v sorry you found yourself in even more pain and fear than before..
not fair is an understatement..
wish you peace
x
 
I

Iwantoutrightnow

Wise
Jun 27, 2019
201
510
I'm sorry you went through this, it's awful.

I was scammed (nothing like what you've been through) last year because I acted from a place of utter desperation. I was terrified for a long time after. If you're in the UK you can call victim support. They are independent of the police and won't report anything you tell them. I'm not saying get help to stop ctb but to get help with feeling safe while you decide what to do next.

Take care
 
I

I’mDone

Wise
Mar 22, 2020
246
396
I really appreciate that you posted this, and I hope the thread doesn't get deleted.

Members need to be aware that shady things do happen on this forum. Personally, I wish there wasn't a Partners Megathread, then there would be less of a lure for perpetrators.

Your story is exactly what I have in the past publicly warned members could happen if they allowed someone else to kill them -- abuse, trafficking, etc. (edit: not blaming you for what was done to you, only highlighting this shit is real).

Posts like yours bring awareness so members can better protect themselves. There are people who use the Partners Megathread to catfish, to emotionally abuse, to get their kicks, to scam, and at worse, what you've written about here. Folks who are in need and desperate may be willing to overlook red flags, and predators rely on this. I'm glad to hear that you and another member took appropriate action. It's empowering to all the genuine folks that you told this story.

I would say to pay attention to someone's presence on the forum if they engage in response to a Partners Megathread post. If there is someone with little public activity like posting or participating in chat, then I would question their motives. If it's someone who has a higher profile presence, I would pay attention to their consistent behaviors, which indicates their character. If one senses a red flag, I would say to always trust that above all else, because a covert manipulator will test with greenlighting, that is, if you're willing to overlook one small bad behavior, then they'll progress to a worse one, and keep progressing.

Some members, when a behavior is called out, may say things like, "Why can't we take people as they are?" or "We shouldn't judge." There is a tendency in an environment like this to want to give the benefit of the doubt and to not cause suffering/instability to people who may actually be suffering/unstable, and to take on blame if the other person reacts by leaving the forum, or is "pushed" to ctb. A genuine perpetrator, however, relies on potential victims giving them the benefit of the doubt, so personally, when my red flag radar is going off, I don't take on what another member thinks and subsequently lower my necessary, self-protective boundaries. Pity and guilt can lower one's defenses to their own detriment, and someone who wants to take from you will often play pity and guilt cards to get what they want. If someone else plays the card for them, even better. That doesn't mean other members are in on the scam with them; many of us have been conditioned to downplay bad behavior and make excuses, and some folks just don't see it. There was a time when I didn't, so I have empathy and compassion for that. If in my past I ever said to someone about a perpetrator's sketchy behavior, "Oh, he's not that bad," I hope they listened to their guts and not to me.

For folks who are uncertain about manipulation tactics, here's a helpful thread. One post in the thread lists behaviors a manipulator will seek to exploit, such as rationalizing their behaviors. What is not listed is what's very important on a forum like this -- exploiting genuine needs and desperation. This thread highlights additional language and tactics a manipulator/perpetrator may use to persuade.
Thank you for this insightful and important comment. This should be made a sticky post at the top of the Partners thread.
 
Twombly

Twombly

Member
Mar 30, 2020
51
192
OP, I’m so sorry that you had such a terrifying experience, and I’m sorry that some members here have written such insensitive and rude comments in response.

Thank you for sharing your trauma with us. It couldn’t have been easy, but know that by doing so, you’ve helped to prevent similar incidents and reminded many of us to stay on guard against predators on here.
 
leapyourbar

leapyourbar

Member
Apr 26, 2020
11
46
Predators are attracted to the vulnerable like a moth to a flame. I’m sorry you had to endure this. These people lurk in all kinds of forums - it would be naive to think that they don’t walk amongst us here too. I’m glad you and your daughter are safe ❤
 
Erdapfel

Erdapfel

I am a german potato
Feb 19, 2020
38
55
I was suffering and desperate. May be naive but I just wanted a way out.
I see.
I have to admit that I have never been so desperate that I would have accepted such an offer. It is now clear to me that despair can rob a person of any rationality. I'm sorry that you were so desperate that you had to accept such a suspicious offer.
I hope that my answer didn't offend you. It was the first thought that shot through my mind. However, it is not my philosophy to blame only the perpetrator. I believe that there are always at least two causal factors in an act. Therefore, there are at least two ways to prevent an act:

1. Weaken the perpetrator.

2. Strengthen the victim.

For me, suicide is a method that falls under the second category. It gives the victim the opportunity to evade his / her agony.
 
K-O

K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
578
1,446
I see.
I have to admit that I have never been so desperate that I would have accepted such an offer. It is now clear to me that despair can rob a person of any rationality. I'm sorry that you were so desperate that you had to accept such a suspicious offer.
I hope that my answer didn't offend you. It was the first thought that shot through my mind. However, it is not my philosophy to blame only the perpetrator. I believe that there are always at least two causal factors in an act. Therefore, there are at least two ways to prevent an act:

1. Weaken the perpetrator.

2. Strengthen the victim.

For me, suicide is a method that falls under the second category. It gives the victim the opportunity to evade his / her agony.
well.. you said it yourself- you're a German Potato.. :notsure::I:nomouth:
 
C

Crumbledank

Member
May 14, 2020
11
32
The police tracked my IP and I had to make a police statement. No articles yet but he hasn't been charged yet. Hopefully he gets what's coming to him
What makes you think the police tracked your IP?
Usually the authorities have to ask the operator of a website to see logs to get IPs of a user. They can’t just magic an IP address from nowhere.

Does this website have a policy on logging of IP addresses, btw? Does it have a policy about information requests like IP addresses, if made by the authorities?
 
Last edited:
Aliali1992

Aliali1992

We only live once..i hope
Jan 3, 2020
103
147
Oh my god. I am shaking as i am reading this. What you've encountred is the worst that humanity can produce and i am glad it stopped there...don't listen to those people judging and don't blame yourself for anything...we are all in a desperate situation that the world has put us in. For some it is ordering N from overseas risking scamming and jail. There are people who travel to fucking Bolivia searching for a magic bottle . For you it is this. This kind of sick minds in the world is a large part why i wanna CTB.
 
Last edited:
L0ne1ygh0st

L0ne1ygh0st

Master
Oct 1, 2019
412
1,496
What makes you think the police tracked your IP?
Usually the authorities have to ask the operator of a website to see logs to get IPs of a user. They can’t just magic an IP address from nowhere.

Does this website have a policy on logging of IP addresses, btw? Does it have a policy about information requests like IP addresses, if made by the authorities?
I asked the police officer how they found me and he said that they found the messages between the two of us after his arrest and traced my IP address. That's all i was told.
@L0ne1ygh0st, what a horrifying experience. What screen name was this person using?
@demonanon
 
Nuclear Gandhi

Nuclear Gandhi

Member
May 11, 2020
51
141
To OP: @L0ne1ygh0st I am really sorry this situation occurred to you, especially here, in the community that made you feel secure about expressing your vulnerability and pain. I am so angry reading your story and reading how this horrible experience traumatized you even further. Sending you support and hugs, please don't blame yourself for anything that happened - you being in distress doesn't excuse you being prayed on.

What made my blood boil though is some comments in this thread. It's truly appalling how after reading this story one can come to the conclusion that victim is to blame. That they are seeking attention. That traumatic experience makes people stronger. That desperation of OP is the logical reason for them to be harassed like that. It's fucking embarrassing to be so out of touch and lacking empathy and basic human decency.
 
BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

I'm a BPD Barbie Girl living in a suicidal world
Dec 1, 2019
1,362
3,943
OP, I'm so sorry you had to go through this and disgusted and horrified that people like that are on this forum where we share so much personal information and show our vulnerability so often. I hope you can find the strength to get over this, I understand it'll be hard and it will take time but you have plenty of good people here who care genuinely and want the best for you.
To everyone who's attacking the OP, you clearly don't understand what it's like when you're that deep and scared. The abuser has such a hold over you, it's terrifying, you cant think for yourself. Let's not attack them after they've already been through so much, treat each other with kindness and respect.
 
deadpixels

deadpixels

-
May 2, 2020
134
300
I asked the police officer how they found me and he said that they found the messages between the two of us after his arrest and traced my IP address. That's all i was told.


@demonanon
Did you talk to him through means external to this site?
 
  • Like
Reactions: autumnal
Status
Not open for further replies.