My dreams are even depressing... I can't even catch a break from my depressing existence in sleep. If I dont get the nerve to jump by next week Wednesday my family will have me commited to the psych ward again. I screwed up my only chance at a lasting relationship. I was in the psych ward for a couple months and when I came out my partner was married to someone else. I can not possibly continue this lonesome existence. All I do all day is tell myself to end it. The emotional pain has over taken. The schizophrenic part of my brain has merged with my bipolar and I can't take it anymore. Please, let me have the courage to jump. There's no other way for me.