[Discussion] Could you be friends with someone who thought suicide was selfish?

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F

freedommatrix

-
Dec 19, 2019
59
127
I don't see how that can be a real friendship whatsoever. It's a lack of respect for the suicidal person. It's the same as a homophobe saying to their gay friends that "gays are f*gs and will go to hell".
 
E

Epsilon0

Illuminated
Dec 28, 2019
1,881
4,005
I suspect the majority of the people in my life believe suicide is a deeply selfish act. About half of them probably believe you go to hell if you do it.

So, to answer your question: yes, I can be friends with them, and love them.

I could, however, not be able to have any sort of meaningful interaction with anyone who hates people based on race, sexuality, disability or religion. Suicide, imo, is very different and cannot be compared to these things.
 
F

freedommatrix

-
Dec 19, 2019
59
127
I suspect the majority of the people in my life believe suicide is a deeply selfish act. About half of them probably believe you go to hell if you do it.

So, to answer your question: yes, I can be friends with them, and love them.

I could, however, not be able to have any sort of meaningful interaction with anyone who hates people based on race, sexuality, disability or religion. Suicide, imo, is very different and cannot be compared to these things.
Why do you suspect this?
 
E

Epsilon0

Illuminated
Dec 28, 2019
1,881
4,005
Because this is the discourse we are brainwashed with from birth. And it’s no easy feat to question absolute truths” we are spoon-fed with all our lives.
 
BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

I'm a BPD Barbie Girl living in a suicidal world
Dec 1, 2019
1,354
3,961
I could be friends with someone, but more than likely I don't think I would bring it up again and I for sure wouldn't tell them if/when I was feeling suicidal. Just because while opinions are our own and personal and we don't have to agree, I feel hearing that its selfish when you're feeling so low can push you further over the edge.
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,145
12,608
I’m not sure but probably not.
 
CynicalHopelessness

CynicalHopelessness

I reject my humanity
Jan 9, 2020
897
1,274
I could be acquaintances on good terms with somebody like this, but this viewpoint usually does not come alone. I would probably not be able to share my experiences with mental illness with somebody like this, and I would not consider her/him an actual friend, and it would also not satisfy my need for genuine connection even a bit.
 
Kuolema

Kuolema

Veteran
Jun 27, 2019
184
1,917
Selfishness isnt necessarily a bad thing. Dont believe me? How much did you give to charity last year?
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
10,922
13,604
I think the majority of people in general are conditioned to frown upon suicide. We're all allowed our own viewpoints which is cool with me. As long as they aren't pushing their views on me I'm all good with it.
 
porfin1234

porfin1234

Master
Dec 26, 2019
478
1,145
I think it can definitely be a selfish act and I am here and am still seriously considering CBTing. May get backlash for that but oh well. I am not saying people don’t consider others when they go through with it, and everyone has different reasons for committing the act, but it definitely has a huge impact on others (I get depending on circumstance). Although I think some people who commit suicide sincerely believe they are a burden to others and are better off dead. It’s complicated for sure.
I know if I went through with it, it would be incredibly selfish and hurtful to others.
Although I believe they would move on except for my immediate family who would have a harder time.

People tend to be selfish in this society anyway. There are just a few people I’ve met who are truly selfless.
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
10,922
13,604
I think it can definitely be a selfish act and I am here and am still seriously considering CBTing. May get backlash for that but oh well. I am not saying people don’t consider others when they go through with it, and everyone has different reasons for committing the act, but it definitely has a huge impact on others (I get depending on circumstance). Although I think some people who commit suicide sincerely believe they are a burden to others and are better off dead. It’s complicated for sure.
I know if I went through with it, it would be incredibly selfish and hurtful to others.
Although I believe they would move on except for my immediate family who would have a harder time.

People tend to be selfish in this society anyway. There are just a few people I’ve met who are truly selfless.
If there's only ONE thing in life that you can be selfish about and have it be okay it's gota be this. Is it not selfish of others to try to force you to stay and suffer? Thanks for sharing how you feel about it. I think this topic is rather subjective and dependent on point of view.
 
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Carina

Carina

Angelic
Dec 22, 2019
3,998
4,282
I am friends with people who think it's a selfish act. One's my best friend. Granted he also said that he and his family also wouldn't think I'd go to hell either (his family is really religious--he isn't but 'spiritual'), they also would think I'd be at peace.
He also knows I'm suicidal. I make a point to mention it. I joke about it, in part to annoy him (we have that type of relationship). I know it won't change his mind, he knows he can't change mine).

At the same time, a lot I know that think it's selfish also understand how someone could. So it's like they're mixed on it.
 
ShadowChild

ShadowChild

Any time now.
Jan 13, 2020
65
140
I don't see how that can be a real friendship whatsoever. It's a lack of respect for the suicidal person. It's the same as a homophobe saying to their gay friends that "gays are f*gs and will go to hell".
I am friends with such a person, but he just needs educating. Side note he is gay and I’d never use that example to prove a point to him xD
 
OneBigBlur

OneBigBlur

Wise
Nov 30, 2019
233
812
Nope, it would be a superficial relationship at best. I don't think I could ever be friends with a normal person because of their lack of understanding and naive optimism.
 
ShadowChild

ShadowChild

Any time now.
Jan 13, 2020
65
140
I am friends with people who think it's a selfish act. One's my best friend. Granted he also said that he and his family also wouldn't think I'd go to hell either (his family is really religious--he isn't but 'spiritual'), they also would think I'd be at peace.
He also knows I'm suicidal. I make a point to mention it. I joke about it, in part to annoy him (we have that type of relationship). I know it won't change his mind, he knows he can't change mine).

At the same time, a lot I know that think it's selfish also understand how someone could. So it's like they're mixed on it.
I made a point of saying to them, if you’re being tortured but you can end the torture by ctb. Is it still selfish? Not all torture is physical pain. He was like, yeah that’s not the same thing so I said how do you f*cking know you if you haven’t experienced either of those things. You’re quick to judge but you’re not in a position to have your deluded opinion in the matter so stfu and be supportive, you say “you should talk to me it might help” but I talk to you and you call me selfish, F**k you..-_-
 
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SuiSqueeze92

SuiSqueeze92

Self Saboteur
Jan 15, 2020
481
682
I could probably because I used to kind of think like that about my father and constantly ask myself “what I did wrong?” as a child, but with everything that I’ve been through now and understand about the world, I’m on the other side now to possibly join my father. They just don’t know true pain yet.
 
218x

218x

متيم
Apr 9, 2019
382
800
No way, I hate people who have that opinion and those who criticize suicide. They say that "you have to do what's right for you" yet when you tell them you want to kill yourself, they say you can't. Fucking hypocrites. Sure, suicide may be selfish but if you don't think about yourself, who else will?!
 
Flippy

Flippy

Listening to the Air Conditioner Hum
Jan 5, 2020
416
697
Most people have never been in the frame of mind suicidal people endure. I guess I can't write them off for what they can't understand. But like some people said it's like homophobia they aren't attracted to the same sex so they can't understand why anyone else would be. I can't be friends really with people like that. Though I try to be polite I guess.
 
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k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
1,896
3,867
I have plenty of friends with opinions that are different than mine. Obviously I became friends with that person for a reason separate from their beliefs, and if we're still friends there must be some value there. I certainly don't expect everyone to agree with me on things.

Now, if they were being hateful or mean to me because I didn't agree with them, or just being an outwardly bad person because of their beliefs, I probably could not tolerate that. I'm not going to associate with people like that. But I've never been in that position.

I guess I have kind of a high tolerance. I don't usually let myself get pulled into discussions about things I strongly disagree with people on. That's stress I just don't need. If I ever do that, it's probably because I needed to let some kind of anger out and they were a good target. LOL

So yeah, I could be friends with someone like that. And I probably am. But depending on how outspoken they were, I would probably have to reevaluate things and kind of compartmentalize them or I couldnt deal with it. It's a lot like people with different political beliefs I know on Facebook and stuff. I can still be friends with them, but I'm probably going to unfollow them and not look at their bullshit.
 
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thrw_a_way1221221

thrw_a_way1221221

Angel of Choice - on borrowed time.
Aug 30, 2018
4,770
14,980
I could be acquaintances and maybe some I could befriend, but kept at more than an arm's distance due to protecting myself and keeping my freedom intact. I do not wish to alarm them or set off any red flags causing more problems for myself. This means I could probably befriend them and talk about other things other than CTB, and just keep it very short and not too deep.
 
Kneel

Kneel

Member
Jan 24, 2020
12
14
Honestly I've had a person in my life calling me selfish before when i was spilling my heart out, and it always stuck with me, we ended up not staying friends partly because of that.
Opinions are fine and I can respect theirs but shoving their belief down my throat, especially since they really did not know about everything I've been through that led me into thinking that ctb is my only way out. So short answer is I don't mind as long as they respect my choice too.
 
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Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

existence is futile
Jul 10, 2019
2,228
3,921
I personally think it depends on the person, some have such strong views that are so different to ours, then I think what is the point of friendship, as clearly you will clash a lot,
Otherwise, if they respect your views, whilst not agreeing with them, and vice versa then I do think a friendship can be OK
I don't really have any friends though, so I could be talking a load crap!
 
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Debro

Debro

Wise
Dec 19, 2019
205
425
I don't see how that can be a real friendship whatsoever. It's a lack of respect for the suicidal person.
I don't think that it's being disrespectful. It's a viewpoint, a viewpoint i could live with.
I find it more intriguing to share a discussion with a person i don't share opinions with. You can always learn something about another perspective, even if you disagree with it.

It's the same as a homophobe saying to their gay friends that "gays are f*gs and will go to hell".
No, it's not the same. That's just plain hate speech.
 
H

Heart of Ice

Chillin'
Sep 26, 2019
365
495
I think there is a layer of selfishness to suicide. Could you be friends with me? :)
 
I

imagineit

Member
Jan 1, 2020
55
95
I don't see how that can be a real friendship whatsoever. It's a lack of respect for the suicidal person. It's the same as a homophobe saying to their gay friends that "gays are f*gs and will go to hell".
Yes, I could. I too do not think this comparison is fair, either.
 
departing

departing

Illuminated
Jul 5, 2019
1,500
597
I don't expect everyone to understand suicide. There's a certain mindset, perhaps, that's needed in order to fully get it. Before I became suicidal, I might have even shared a portion of their thoughts.
 
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