[Story] Commitment/Goodbye

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W

WitheringAway

Member
Jun 23, 2020
91
213
Hello Sanctioned community.

I will be committing to SN next Monday.
The day of, I will post updates throughout the whole process.

Sunday, June 28th:
-Begin fasting at 8pm

Monday, June 29th:
-10am- Leave home, take a long
drive/pass the time.

-6pm- Check into hotel room, settle in, try to control my anxiety.

-8pm- Prepare SN, ingest, and post updates to thread immediately as symptoms arise.

- Hopefully death soon after

My purpose of posting and updating a thread throughout the process is so anyone else considering SN can use my case as a re-assurance that SN will work. I might add my real name and general location after ingestion to help confirm my death, as im certain I will succeed.

Thank you, Sanctioned community for helping me find a method better suited to me. For a long time, I believed the only ways to die were very gruesome and painful, but I believe SN is as peaceful.as it gets. Thank you all
I wish you a fast, easy and peaceful journey xx Know that my thoughts are with you at that day and time.
I love you xx
 
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Brokenwithbpd

Specialist
Jun 15, 2020
320
436
Hey Brokenwithbpd, thanks for asking. Im starting to feel at peace. I was a bit axious yesterday but no one noticed it when I went to work. I am certain my acting skills will suffice through 2 more shifts, and bypass the social barrier of checking into the hotel. All things considered, Id say im feeling really good now.
I envy your bravery my friend.
 
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H

heraclitus

Member
May 22, 2020
29
27
Travel peacefully. Safe journey home. I wish I had your strength today.
 
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A

aminend

Veteran
May 24, 2020
104
87
Update: I had a lot of anxiety this afternoon. I even broke down in tears, but I am now at peace. I made it through my shift at work just fine. Nobody suspects a thing. Thank you all so much for the support you've shown. Just 5ish days left ✌

No problem. It's the least I can do to give back to the Sanctioned community
IMPORTANT NOTE:
Hey everyone, please let me know if there is anything in particular you want to answer during the process so I can plan accordingly. I was planning on posting pictures of the measurements, the solution when it is ready, and writing/describing symptoms as they occur. If you have any other suggestions please share. I can only do this once lol so lets make the most of it. Thank you everyone :)
If u can do video call by one of the forum members while doing SN that will be great. Some time I think to group suicide by video call.
 
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A

AnxietyAttack44

I just wanna go to my husband already.
Jun 5, 2020
962
1,616
27
Philippines / Croatia
If you decide to go through with it, id just like to know how you feel. Every sensation, physical and mental. Thoughts that go through your head, like panic, peace or regret. I just want to know how person really feels when they go with sn, other then fast heart and nausea.

Thank you, and have a peaceful journey and lots of rest.
 
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mx5nb3

mx5nb3

"The opposite of depression is vitality"-A.S. Tedx
Jun 10, 2020
120
210
20
United States
If u can do video call by one of the forum members while doing SN that will be great. Some time I think to group suicide by video call.
Yes, I was considering that too.
If you decide to go through with it, id just like to know how you feel. Every sensation, physical and mental. Thoughts that go through your head, like panic, peace or regret. I just want to know how person really feels when they go with sn, other then fast heart and nausea.

Thank you, and have a peaceful journey and lots of rest.
Thank you. I'll be as descriptive as I can
 
KUA

KUA

Member
Jun 12, 2020
81
133
UK
I hope you rest peacefully. And thank you for doing this, it will help others. I agree with maybe doing a video call with someone after you have ingested SN and PMing someone your location so they can confirm. Thank you again and I wish you a smooth transition
 
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mx5nb3

mx5nb3

"The opposite of depression is vitality"-A.S. Tedx
Jun 10, 2020
120
210
20
United States
I hope you rest peacefully. And thank you for doing this, it will help others. I agree with maybe doing a video call with someone after you have ingested SN and PMing someone your location so they can confirm. Thank you again and I wish you a smooth transition
Thank you. Do you think Snapchat would be a good option, or would something like Skype/Whatsapp be better? Also, how should I go about finding someone willing to document my experience?
 
KUA

KUA

Member
Jun 12, 2020
81
133
UK
Thank you. Do you think Snapchat would be a good option, or would something like Skype/Whatsapp be better? Also, how should I go about finding someone willing to document my experience?
Probably WhatsApp. I would do it but I am in the UK so it will be at 1am and my parents make sure I am in my room by midnight so I would literally not be able to speak to you and you could only tell me what’s happening with no response from me which is hard. I would find somebody from America to record it
 
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L

Living sucks

no one can understand
Mar 27, 2020
2,873
2,727
Hey Brokenwithbpd, thanks for asking. Im starting to feel at peace. I was a bit axious yesterday but no one noticed it when I went to work. I am certain my acting skills will suffice through 2 more shifts, and bypass the social barrier of checking into the hotel. All things considered, Id say im feeling really good now.
Just curious .. why even go to work ?

WhatsApp And Instagram etc reveal the phone numbers .. discord video call?

If anyone offers this please think hard about the impact it will have on you.. it’s very difficult.
 
Last edited:
mx5nb3

mx5nb3

"The opposite of depression is vitality"-A.S. Tedx
Jun 10, 2020
120
210
20
United States
Just curious .. why even go to work ?

WhatsApp And Instagram etc reveal the phone numbers .. discord video call?

If anyone offers this please think hard about the impact it will have on you.. it’s very difficult.
My boss needed me to work a couple more days so I figured why not. Nothing better to do while waiting. During the day on Monday i'm going to either blow anything left in my account or donate it to a decent cause. Ill probably end up blowing half and donating half.. it isnt much but plenty enough to have some fun for a day.

I decided to do a video chat over skype I think. The user will document my symptoms and chat with me til the end. I figured it would be more informative, as he will be able to explain everything very clearly and share what happens once I faint or go unconscious.
 
L

Living sucks

no one can understand
Mar 27, 2020
2,873
2,727
My boss needed me to work a couple more days so I figured why not. Nothing better to do while waiting. During the day on Monday i'm going to either blow anything left in my account or donate it to a decent cause. Ill probably end up blowing half and donating half.. it isnt much but plenty enough to have some fun for a day.

I decided to do a video chat over skype I think. The user will document my symptoms and chat with me til the end. I figured it would be more informative, as he will be able to explain everything very clearly and share what happens once I faint or go unconscious.
Why don’t you use it to cover the scam situation and enjoy more days ??
also your bank should offer some sort of scam fraud protection.. have you looked Into it? I’d hate to see you ctb like the kid who thought he lost $700k trading but it was a system issue... before finding out if you can overcome this situation ?
 
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mx5nb3

mx5nb3

"The opposite of depression is vitality"-A.S. Tedx
Jun 10, 2020
120
210
20
United States
Why don’t you use it to cover the scam situation and enjoy more days ??
also your bank should offer some sort of scam fraud protection.. have you looked Into it? I’d hate to see you ctb like the kid who thought he lost $700k trading but it was a system issue... before finding out if you can overcome this situation ?
Hey Living sucks. No, i dont want to enjoy more days.. this is it. Suicide has long been on my mind and Ive set my date. Room is booked, everythings planned and this time im ready to go. No second thoughts, just lots of reminiscing. My financial situation isnt bad, with a year of work id be out of debt and have about 3k ahead for savings but.. I just dont see why anything matters. My life is/was beautiful, and ive been very fortunate.. kinda the stereotypical white kid with everything ahead of him. But inside of me this evil simply doesnt go away. Must be some trauma from the Russian orphanage I was adopted from... dont know.. :(
 
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Brokenwithbpd

Specialist
Jun 15, 2020
320
436
Hey Living sucks. No, i dont want to enjoy more days.. this is it. Suicide has long been on my mind and Ive set my date. Room is booked, everythings planned and this time im ready to go. No second thoughts, just lots of reminiscing. My financial situation isnt bad, with a year of work id be out of debt and have about 3k ahead for savings but.. I just dont see why anything matters. My life is/was beautiful, and ive been very fortunate.. kinda the stereotypical white kid with everything ahead of him. But inside of me this evil simply doesnt go away. Must be some trauma from the Russian orphanage I was adopted from... dont know.. :(
I was adopted from Romania and in orphanage for 3 years. I’ve been messed in the head since I was 9
 
B

Brokenwithbpd

Specialist
Jun 15, 2020
320
436
Damn, sorry to hear :( . I was adopted from St Petersburg and was in for 2 years. I've read a few articles that saay the first few years of a babies life are very important.. it must be true.
Yes it is true. I was a social worker and had 2 articles published about that
 
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mx5nb3

mx5nb3

"The opposite of depression is vitality"-A.S. Tedx
Jun 10, 2020
120
210
20
United States
IMPORTANT NOTE:
I have changed plans. Ctb will occur at the same time via the same method, but i will not be posting updates on the thread real time.

I am instead going to video chat with a user that has agreed to document the process. I will ask him to create a seperate thread with my username, ctb method, and to attach all recorded observations that are relevant to ctb via SN.

I have chosen this strategy because it will allow for better description of the symptoms, both prior to and after zoning out, fainting, and/or death. Hopefully this is helpful.
Also, I am 100% certain this is my choice and mine alone. I am well aware that I can change my mind, and that there is nothing wrong with choosing to do so. Nobody has pushed me or is pushing me to do this.

If I dont post anything after June 29th, I have succeded.

Thank you Sanctioned community.
 
I

I screwed up

Master
Sep 11, 2019
419
523
@mx5nb3 u r not just a brave person but r also very kind soul. I really envy ur commitment and courage. Wish I could have such strong will power. I m bloody chicken.
Ur decision to record / document ur last moments thru a video call will definitely help us . RIP brother
 
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A

aminend

Veteran
May 24, 2020
104
87
IMPORTANT NOTE:
I have changed plans. Ctb will occur at the same time via the same method, but i will not be posting updates on the thread real time.

I am instead going to video chat with a user that has agreed to document the process. I will ask him to create a seperate thread with my username, ctb method, and to attach all recorded observations that are relevant to ctb via SN.

I have chosen this strategy because it will allow for better description of the symptoms, both prior to and after zoning out, fainting, and/or death. Hopefully this is helpful.
Also, I am 100% certain this is my choice and mine alone. I am well aware that I can change my mind, and that there is nothing wrong with choosing to do so. Nobody has pushed me or is pushing me to do this.

If I dont post anything after June 29th, I have succeded.

Thank you Sanctioned community.
I suggest u to use 800mg_1g propranolol by or 30 min before SN
 
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