Celebrating life

RoseyBird

RoseyBird

Angelic
Joined
Jan 20, 2020
Messages
4,398
Well guys, my ex reads my posts. How do I know this? Well, police showed up at the door last night for a wellness check saying he called them snd gave them screenshots. He tried to get me sectioned so he could take the kids. Too bad for him the police, my therapist, and the crisis team all agreed I’m not at risk to myself or others I’m just a victim of emotional and psychological abuse. I called the dv help line and they agreed too.

He had to renew the lease since its due, but after this month he won’t pay, and will force us to leave. He is making sure to do this before child support is established just so I can’t pay the rent. Once we are homeless he will then say the kids have a home with him. Everyone sees this for what it is. That’s ok, I‘m celebrating my freedom form nearly 12 years of abuse.

This is not goodbye. This is a celebration of life and new hope. I will live where I am for a month, and beyond that I don’t know if I’ll have internet for a while.

@BipolarGuy Im willing to bet you understand the party. Love you guys, raise a glass to freedom and new beginnings.
 
BipolarGuy

BipolarGuy

-
Joined
Aug 6, 2020
Messages
1,482
Well guys, my ex reads my posts. How do I know this? Well, police showed up at the door last night for a wellness check saying he called them snd gave them screenshots. He tried to get me sectioned so he could take the kids. Too bad for him the police, my therapist, and the crisis team all agreed I’m not at risk to myself or others I’m just a victim of emotional and psychological abuse. I called the dv help line and they agreed too.

He had to renew the lease since its due, but after this month he won’t pay, and will force us to leave. He is making sure to do this before child support is established just so I can’t pay the rent. Once we are homeless he will then say the kids have a home with him. Everyone sees this for what it is. That’s ok, I‘m celebrating my freedom form nearly 12 years of abuse.

This is not goodbye. This is a celebration of life and new hope. I will live where I am for a month, and beyond that I don’t know if I’ll have internet for a while.

@BipolarGuy Im willing to bet you understand the party. Love you guys, raise a glass to freedom and new beginnings.
I do hope you're not listening to Mozart or Beethoven?

I'm pleased that people are seeing it for what it is - manipulation and forcing you into a corner.
Sneaky bastard.
 
_Cakes_12

_Cakes_12

Specialist
Joined
Oct 25, 2020
Messages
311
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I really admire your strength, I'm sorry you had to put up with that for 12 years!

Also, I really love your dp, makes me smile :)

I wish I had better words but I'm not good at it, sending love. :heart:
 
Lilacmoon

Lilacmoon

Beautiful moon, take me away.
Joined
Sep 23, 2020
Messages
1,329
Well guys, my ex reads my posts. How do I know this? Well, police showed up at the door last night for a wellness check saying he called them snd gave them screenshots. He tried to get me sectioned so he could take the kids. Too bad for him the police, my therapist, and the crisis team all agreed I’m not at risk to myself or others I’m just a victim of emotional and psychological abuse. I called the dv help line and they agreed too.

He had to renew the lease since its due, but after this month he won’t pay, and will force us to leave. He is making sure to do this before child support is established just so I can’t pay the rent. Once we are homeless he will then say the kids have a home with him. Everyone sees this for what it is. That’s ok, I‘m celebrating my freedom form nearly 12 years of abuse.

This is not goodbye. This is a celebration of life and new hope. I will live where I am for a month, and beyond that I don’t know if I’ll have internet for a while.

@BipolarGuy Im willing to bet you understand the party. Love you guys, raise a glass to freedom and new beginnings.
Grr. I hate him so much. I can't believe he's stalked your posts, what a jerk! I'm glad his trickery isn't deceiving anyone anymore.

We'll miss you and wish the best for you the whole time, okay?
 
Maxtothemax

Maxtothemax

Meow.
Joined
Jul 9, 2020
Messages
1,622
I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with 12 years of his bullshit. No one deserves that, especially not you. You’re such a wonderful person and a fantastic mum to your kids. Sending you all my love and best wishes :heart:
 
S

sufferingalways

Avoiding flashing images, epilepsy.
Joined
Apr 26, 2020
Messages
383
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I really admire your strength, I'm sorry you had to put up with that for 12 years!

Also, I really love your dp, makes me smile :)

I wish I had better words but I'm not good at it, sending love. :heart:

I hope Rosey will be ok. Sounds like she’s been through hell.

(What’s a dp? )
 
foxdie

foxdie

Eternal sleep is what I seek
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
405
Oh Rosey you deserve so much better. Sending love your way :heart: . I can always feel your big heart all the way over here anytime I log on here. I'm putting positive vibes in the universe for you! :hug: HE is a risk to your wellbeing, not you! Us foxes have to have each other's backs :wink:
 
Rn110bg101

Rn110bg101

If I could become a comet
Joined
Apr 18, 2019
Messages
348
Nobody deserves abuse, especially not you. Good luck for the future, I hope everything goes well for you!
 
ThisIsFine

ThisIsFine

Barely existing
Joined
Oct 2, 2020
Messages
709
My heart goes out to you, I'm sorry you had to deal with that BS for so long. Some people are just so horrible. Happy that you seem to be taking this well, stay strong. :heart:


Creepy he's been looking through your posts just to be this petty...
 
GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Joined
Jan 11, 2020
Messages
6,645
He had to renew the lease since its due, but after this month he won’t pay, and will force us to leave. He is making sure to do this before child support is established just so I can’t pay the rent. Once we are homeless he will then say the kids have a home with him.

Did you cosign the lease, or did he sign it and you're listed as one of the residents?

No worries if your not up for talking about this, I was just rereading your awesome OP and this stood out.
 
cii

cii

"Well, it's groundhog day. Again."
Joined
Oct 24, 2020
Messages
55
Oh my god Rosey, I'm so sorry, I can't believe things turned out like this. I really hope Karma will kick him where the sun doesn't shine. But I'm glad you're not too upset about this, I hope you will have a peaceful month with the kids. Praying that things will work out with you afterwards. I did not get to speak with you much but you're an amazing person and you are very loved. Sending you all the hugs my arms could give. :( :heart:
 
virginiawoolf86

virginiawoolf86

Wise
Joined
Jul 4, 2020
Messages
234
I'm sorry you've had to go through all this! It sounds like you've got some people on your side though. I really hope things work out for you. You seem like a genuinely thoughtful and sweet person.
 
RoseyBird

RoseyBird

Angelic
Joined
Jan 20, 2020
Messages
4,398
Did you cosign the lease, or did he sign it and you're listed as one of the residents?

No worries if your not up for talking about this, I was just rereading your awesome OP and this stood out.
It’s us both on the lease. They said they won’t break it without both signatures, so I guess we stay here... I’m quite stoned. I couldn’t process any further today.
 
Cherrypea

Cherrypea

I remember when all this will be again
Joined
May 3, 2020
Messages
391
Hey sweetie, how are you today? Xxx
 
RoseyBird

RoseyBird

Angelic
Joined
Jan 20, 2020
Messages
4,398
Hey sweetie, how are you today? Xxx
I don’t even know. Any time I go to post I have to think about what I say more carefully since he will read it and give it to police and mental health people. He said he wouldn’t read anymore, but I know that’s not true. So... there is more control... more freedom and expression taken away.... less ability to get actual help from people here that actually care and understand.

It’s Halloween, I just need to put on my mom hat and get to it. We will carve pumpkins, get yummy snacks, and put on fun movies. No trick or treat this this from covid, but we can still have a party!
 
GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Joined
Jan 11, 2020
Messages
6,645
Any time I go to post I have to think about what I say more carefully since he will read it and give it to police and mental health people. He said he wouldn’t read anymore, but I know that’s not true. So... there is more control... more freedom and expression taken away.... less ability to get actual help from people here that actually care and understand.

I've read most of your posts since you joined. I'd like to share my suportive perspective, no expectation of you to want to read or receive it. I put it in a spoiler. If you don't read it, just know that I support you and have huge respect for how you're managing.

What I observe is that you started out thinking that suicide was your way out of the situation. Back then, he could have used it against you. Back then, you were also much more caught up in what he was doing. You didn't feel you had any defense or escape. Shit's got to be bad when someone is wanting to escape.

But you worked throught that. You chose to go in a different direction. You can post on a suicide forum all you want, you're not expressing you're suicidal. You've only commented that you feel like he's trying to maneuver you into a position of suicide being the only way out, you didn't say you were accepting that position. If he invites others to look at your posts, he's inviting them to see things like that. He's inviting them to see criticisms of him, and all the ugliness of how he abandoned you and the kids, how you and the kids didn't have decent meals while he was shacked up with another woman, how he doesn't take ownership of his responsibilities, how bad he looks for these things, and for the things he's continuing to do, like planning to withhold rent so you and the kids are -- what the everloving fuck -- homeless so that he can get a win. And then he can have the kids and neglect them without interference, because of course it will be too much for him, and it will be their faults, your fault, everone and everything else's fault that he can't manage the situation he set up for himself, because he wanted you destroyed even as you do all the work of caretaking that he can't. Others he shows this forum to will see what a man-child he is. Then he might think, "Well, foster care would be better than that bitch." That will also blow up in his face. He's not some master manipulator, he's just gotten away with a lot of shit and now, by his own doing, he's gotten the attention of people who see throught it and won't let him act out with impunity. You're one of those people now, too.

I'm so glad the police and others saw what he was trying to do, that he tried to get them to focus on you in a negative way and they instead focused on what he was doing, trying to trap you and use them to harm you. They're not going to put up with being used by him.

You've acted in this space with authenticity, you've reached out for help and connection and received it, without watching every word, and your authentic actions have proven to be your refuge and your defense. There is a record of what he's done and how it's affected you. So personally, I don't see that you need to give up any freedom or expression, though I get if you want to tweak a bit. But in actual fact, your posts are a record against him, not against you. Aside from that, it fucking sucks that he's invaded this space, it's a violation.

That doesn't mean, however, that you have to change how you act in this space just because he's being a creepy stalker and peeping (stalking: DV behavior). Based on how things turned out, I think it would not behoove you, it's benefitted you. It would behoove him to recognize he is screwing himself by entering private areas where he is not invited, akin to peeping and rape, and to recognize that trying to use your very self against you is going to backfire against him. He is not a victim of what you do, and he is not a victim of you when he aggresses toward you and it backfires.

You've been holding your shit really well in the face of his onslaughts. This is one of those moments where it's tempting to back down. But changing your no, changing your boundaries, doesn't make things better, it makes them worse, because it reinforces to him that he has a sense of entitlement, and that he is "right."

I shared with another member what I got from something I just listened to about narcissists, about how they'll start fighting when their supply is being taken away, when the person they were feeding off of starts getting self-worth. The person was supposed to value them and therefore get their worth from them. The person isn't supposed to have self-love, they're supposed to love them, and work to earn their love, not one's own. When "the supply" (not a full human to the narcissist, but an object) starts focusing on the self, connecting with the self, valuing the self, and loving the self, it's like the narcissist's oxygen supply has been cut off, and they have SI -- they will have adrenaline rushes and will fight (you) to stay alive.
 
Top Bottom