Can't stop smacking myself in the head

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Azzy69

Azzy69

funeral refreshments must include chicken wings
Aug 8, 2019
519
1,091
Australia
This past week has been particularly difficult in terms of my bipolar, and coming off medication. Anyway, today my mum was quite angry at me and she sent me a particularly upsetting message earlier today. As soon as I read the message I immediately began crying and repeatedly smacking myself in the head. This went on for at least 2 hours and I eventually calmed myself down. Whilst this was happening I also punched my door a dozen or so times and the skin on my knuckles split and I got blood all over my door. Nevertheless, my head was also red and bruised from repeated smacking. I also had a very bad migraine, no surprise huh? Anyway, I have recognised that I do this quite often, but as soon as I start I feel as though I have no control over my body. Does anyone have any similar experiences or suggestions?
 
Nem

Nem

Drs suck mega ass!
Sep 3, 2018
1,108
3,058
This past week has been particularly difficult in terms of my bipolar, and coming off medication. Anyway, today my mum was quite angry at me and she sent me a particularly upsetting message earlier today. As soon as I read the message I immediately began crying and repeatedly smacking myself in the head. This went on for at least 2 hours and I eventually calmed myself down. Whilst this was happening I also punched my door a dozen or so times and the skin on my knuckles split and I got blood all over my door. Nevertheless, my head was also red and bruised from repeated smacking. I also had a very bad migraine, no surprise huh? Anyway, I have recognised that I do this quite often, but as soon as I start I feel as though I have no control over my body. Does anyone have any similar experiences or suggestions?
Sorry to hear. Yes, I have hit myself over the head/punched things it of frustration and I felt compelled to do it so you are not alone. It happens out of frustration, the other month I punched and broke my windshield and it had to be replaced it was broken so bad. It’s like this frustration appears and there is a need to immediately release it and it’s either punch or be punched literally.

I’ve had to stop and after punching the windshield enough was enough. Hopefully you can reach a similar point before a serious injury arises
Peace/hugs
 
randomz

randomz

Member
Nov 4, 2019
44
84
This past week has been particularly difficult in terms of my bipolar, and coming off medication. Anyway, today my mum was quite angry at me and she sent me a particularly upsetting message earlier today. As soon as I read the message I immediately began crying and repeatedly smacking myself in the head. This went on for at least 2 hours and I eventually calmed myself down. Whilst this was happening I also punched my door a dozen or so times and the skin on my knuckles split and I got blood all over my door. Nevertheless, my head was also red and bruised from repeated smacking. I also had a very bad migraine, no surprise huh? Anyway, I have recognised that I do this quite often, but as soon as I start I feel as though I have no control over my body. Does anyone have any similar experiences or suggestions?
I do that often while I am angry at myself for being such a miserable piece of trash. I find the sensation quite strange though - at some point your mind gets....."halved"" and one of the halfs is thinking "someone is fucking hitting me, make him stop" and the other half is like: "hitting that round hard thing is strangely caliming".
 
clarelively

clarelively

dead girl walking
Aug 5, 2019
27
30
I know how it feels like. When I get mad I try not to hit others so I hit myself in the head. It became a habit, just like cutting. I still do it tho, so I don't know any tips to help you stop, sorry, hope you'll get better soon
 
C

Compodulator

Elementalist
Nov 8, 2018
701
2,109
Oh man. I know that feeling. Kind of...
When put to highly stressful situations, I will start punching stuff that I know is difficult to break, like concrete walls. I will have enough control to not beat the shit out of people, though. There will be blood, my own, there will also be sort of crying and seizures because of epilepsy. I might be picked up by an ambulance if shit gets bad enough.
Hugs!
 
F

Francois

Member
Nov 20, 2019
33
456
I always try to see myself spiritually separated from my body.
My body is working very hard every day to keep me alive.
It always try not to fail me so I try not to fail my body.
I was diagnosed with psychosis and major depressive disorder.
I did cut my wrist when I was 21 though, many years ago. I did drank an overdose of pills.
There is no way how I can pretend I never hurt my body. I know how to it feels, I was semi conscious in the ambulance and in hospital.
Few years ago I endured emotional abuse and I tried again but my mom stopped me.
Last year my mom died and now I don't have much friends, I take care of my dad. That give me some purpose.
 
UninformedLover

UninformedLover

Cats can have a little salami
Nov 12, 2019
133
509
???
When I was a bit younger I too used to repeatedly hit my head when I was angry. I suffer from extreme anger problems and don't know how to channel my anger else where so I took it out on myself. I stopped that though instead I usually end up breaking my stuff or swiping everything off my dresser. I wish I could chill out.
 
Azzy69

Azzy69

funeral refreshments must include chicken wings
Aug 8, 2019
519
1,091
Australia
When I was a bit younger I too used to repeatedly hit my head when I was angry. I suffer from extreme anger problems and don't know how to channel my anger else where so I took it out on myself. I stopped that though instead I usually end up breaking my stuff or swiping everything off my dresser. I wish I could chill out.
I think this sums it up haha
 
Sweet emotion

Sweet emotion

Illuminated
Sep 14, 2019
1,336
1,912
This past week has been particularly difficult in terms of my bipolar, and coming off medication. Anyway, today my mum was quite angry at me and she sent me a particularly upsetting message earlier today. As soon as I read the message I immediately began crying and repeatedly smacking myself in the head. This went on for at least 2 hours and I eventually calmed myself down. Whilst this was happening I also punched my door a dozen or so times and the skin on my knuckles split and I got blood all over my door. Nevertheless, my head was also red and bruised from repeated smacking. I also had a very bad migraine, no surprise huh? Anyway, I have recognised that I do this quite often, but as soon as I start I feel as though I have no control over my body. Does anyone have any similar experiences or suggestions?
My mom does this a lot when we argue.
 
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56709

56709

Reticent Resident
Jun 4, 2019
67
190
I do this when I'm angry at myself but don't have a Bipolar diagnosis. The only things that I have been diagnosed with are depressive disorders...

I can't even make it to a therapist since I'm so dependent on my family for everything as is. When I was 17-18 grandpa encouraged me to go many times and said he'd pay for it/drive me there but I wasn't compliant at the time especially knowing I would probably get an SSRI prescription.
 
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Azzy69

Azzy69

funeral refreshments must include chicken wings
Aug 8, 2019
519
1,091
Australia
I do this when I'm angry at myself but don't have a Bipolar diagnosis. The only things that I have been diagnosed with are depressive disorders...

I can't even make it to a therapist since I'm so dependent on my family for everything as is. When I was 17-18 grandpa encouraged me to go many times and said he'd pay for it/drive me there but I wasn't compliant at the time especially knowing I would probably get an SSRI prescription.
I do not think this situation depends on the diagnosis. Hey do not dwell on that many people share the same experience.
 
F

Forest Fire

Member
Jul 19, 2019
27
47
If you're able to then get a punch bag.
If you are unable to do this then I've noticed that using the palm of my hand causes a lot less damage to myself or whatever inanimate object I hit.
 
Azzy69

Azzy69

funeral refreshments must include chicken wings
Aug 8, 2019
519
1,091
Australia
If you're able to then get a punch bag.
If you are unable to do this then I've noticed that using the palm of my hand causes a lot less damage to myself or whatever inanimate object I hit.
Good idea!
 
Sweet emotion

Sweet emotion

Illuminated
Sep 14, 2019
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I can't believe you can do this to yourself for two whole hours and not realize you're hurting yourself. You must have one hell of a headache afterwards. I wouldn't keep doing this. I know you can't control the way you feel but you can control punching yourself in the head for two hours straight. Please don't take offense to this but is there a possibility you're autistic?
 
Azzy69

Azzy69

funeral refreshments must include chicken wings
Aug 8, 2019
519
1,091
Australia
I can't believe you can do this to yourself for two whole hours and not realize you're hurting yourself. You must have one hell of a headache afterwards. I wouldn't keep doing this. I know you can't control the way you feel but you can control punching yourself in the head for two hours straight. I had to laugh when the guy suggested you get head gear.
I was aware I was hurting myself but was in such distress that i did not have the ability to stop. Haha honestly same but I really hope i do not reach that point, that would be so embarrassing. :hihi:
 
BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

I'm a BPD Barbie Girl living in a suicidal world
Dec 1, 2019
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Somewhere only we know
I've stabbed myself in the leg and done all sorts when I've been angry. It's like something takes control and you just aren't present, once that rage and impulsive need to hurt yourself subsides you just stop. The length of time that takes is anyones guess. I feel you, it's incredibly hard to know what to do in that situation as you're basically needing to keep yourself safe from yourself.
 
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Sweet emotion

Sweet emotion

Illuminated
Sep 14, 2019
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I was aware I was hurting myself but was in such distress that i did not have the ability to stop. Haha honestly same but I really hope i do not reach that point, that would be so embarrassing. :hihi:
Otherwise even embarrassing. You could seriously be hurt.