Can anyone hear Frank Sinatra?

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BlueWidow

BlueWidow

Angelic
Oct 6, 2019
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disenfranchised-grief-5.jpg


I don’t know if this one applies as much to you @Jean4 because I know a lot of people around you don’t know that you’re grieving. But I can tell you that this certainly applies to me. The next person that dismisses my pain, I’d like to just punch them in the face. I suppose they wouldn’t be expecting that, would they? :haha:
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,588
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View attachment 23510

I don’t know if this one applies as much to you @Jean4 because I know a lot of people around you don’t know that you’re grieving. But I can tell you that this certainly applies to me. The next person that dismisses my pain, I’d like to just punch them in the face. I suppose they wouldn’t be expecting that, would they? :haha:
It does because outside of here, nobody knows about Stan. It is strange. I want to tell the world about him and can’t.
One of my favorite movies (the original.)
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,588
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It was a bearable day until the end when Trump things happened, and my PTSD went through the roof. The doctor increased my meds, and I’m ok. The best part.. @realjunes checked in on me. I know that would make you smile to.

I’m still here. Please say hi to @Ark and @6ixxy. They promised me they would haunt me. Tell them I’m waiting.
 

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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,588
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Thank you. Truth!
Nightmare. What is worse? Insomnia or nightmares? I know Trump brought this on.

As things in the world gets worse, the PTSD I know is going to get worse. All the progress I made, gone. Will call the doctor on Monday and see what I can do. I don’t want to lose all the progress I made.

Had some chocolate and something to drink and came here. Be glad you aren’t here because I would be waking you up. What would you tell me? You would tell me it’s ok and to get the cat, you are there and go back to bed.

I have the cat, and wearing your nightgown and will try to get some sleep again.

Wish you were here. I still am. Trying again. Goodnight. If I have nightmares again, I’ll be back.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,588
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Thank you
Yes, I wrote what you thought would help.

I am missing you so much today. 3 days until your month anniversary. I already know that will be horrible and I will prepare.

Today is a chocking back the tears day. I will get through it. Missing you so much.
 
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R

realjunes

Elementalist
Oct 1, 2019
734
1,373
3 days of the one month Stan anniversary? @Jean4 will be making a brave public effort to endure, but we will all be remembering and regarding you. Your guide is working for many of the wonderful departed, as you know greeting us all eventually.
 
BlueWidow

BlueWidow

Angelic
Oct 6, 2019
2,184
4,935
I’ll be coming soon, Stan. I can feel it getting closer every day. Just a few more loose ends that I have to find the energy to tie up. I think I was out of bed yesterday for a total of one hour. Today, it’s almost 12:30 PM here and I just got out of bed, and that was only because I had to go to the bathroom and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I think I’m going to make myself some coffee & just go back to bed. I don’t even want to change my clothes or wash my face or anything. I’ll take a shower tomorrow.
There are so many things coming up that I don’t want to face or have to deal with again. Things that come around every year, like paying taxes and so on. Also, my SIL had surgery on January 30th. It was nothing serious, just an elective surgery and she’s recovering now. That’s how I was able to spend NYE here instead of being badgered into going to her house. Once she recovers, she’s already talking about dragging me to yet another doctor for my thyroid, even though I’ve told her over and over that I don’t want to see any more doctors about it because it’s a waste of time. It’s just the same old crap over and over again and I’m so sick of it I don’t even know what to do anymore. I’m sick of fighting with her about everything. One day soon I’m going to go off on her and say something that’s going to upset her and everyone’s going to be mad at me because, after all, “she’s only trying to help me”. The problem is, I didn’t ask for and I don’t want her help, but she won’t take NO for an answer.
Everything is pulling me more and more toward ctb. I’m also thinking about my goodbye thread and what I want to say.
If I had more energy and was able to think more clearly, I’d already be done with all this crap and I’d be swallowing my SN tonight.
Hold a place at the bar for me, Stan. I’m sure I’ll need a drink by the time I get there. :heart:
love-husband.gif
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,588
14,926
I’ll be coming soon, Stan. I can feel it getting closer every day. Just a few more loose ends that I have to find the energy to tie up. I think I was out of bed yesterday for a total of one hour. Today, it’s almost 12:30 PM here and I just got out of bed, and that was only because I had to go to the bathroom and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I think I’m going to make myself some coffee & just go back to bed. I don’t even want to change my clothes or wash my face or anything. I’ll take a shower tomorrow.
There are so many things coming up that I don’t want to face or have to deal with again. Things that come around every year, like paying taxes and so on. Also, my SIL had surgery on January 30th. It was nothing serious, just an elective surgery and she’s recovering now. That’s how I was able to spend NYE here instead of being badgered into going to her house. Once she recovers, she’s already talking about dragging me to yet another doctor for my thyroid, even though I’ve told her over and over that I don’t want to see any more doctors about it because it’s a waste of time. It’s just the same old crap over and over again and I’m so sick of it I don’t even know what to do anymore. I’m sick of fighting with her about everything. One day soon I’m going to go off on her and say something that’s going to upset her and everyone’s going to be mad at me because, after all, “she’s only trying to help me”. The problem is, I didn’t ask for and I don’t want her help, but she won’t take NO for an answer.
Everything is pulling me more and more toward ctb. I’m also thinking about my goodbye thread and what I want to say.
If I had more energy and was able to think more clearly, I’d already be done with all this crap and I’d be swallowing my SN tonight.
Hold a place at the bar for me, Stan. I’m sure I’ll need a drink by the time I get there. :heart:
View attachment 23608
No going without telling us!!!
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,588
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3 more days. It’s one month. Which also means I have spent that amount of time without you. It also means I am still here. I was thinking about that today.

I did have some rocky patches. How much longer is the pain going to last? When will the crying stop?

I just can’t believe it is almost a month. The only thing that has changed is the pain. It gets worse, because it is one more day you were not here.
 
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BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

I'm a BPD Barbie Girl living in a suicidal world
Dec 1, 2019
1,354
3,961
for everyone we have loved and lost. Hoping they are all sat around the table Stan had prepared, laughing, eating, enjoying.
 
not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Angelic
Mar 23, 2018
2,030
4,801
Just wanted to say hi Jean and send you some hugs. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
I stopped posting songs … I didn't know if they were too depressing. :hug:
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
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I was lucky enough to see Justin Hayward with my dad a few years ago. Very talented vocalist.
I would have loved to see him. That must be a great memory.
 
Green Destiny

Green Destiny

We will fade.
Nov 17, 2019
371
664
Post the videos to the shows you saw with your father. :)
There aren't really any vids I can find of the specific shows I've seen with my dad but I can post the songs of the bands!

My dad absolutely LOVES Stills. This was his favorite show.


I'll try to post more soon.
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,588
14,926
There aren't really any vids I can find of the specific shows I've seen with my dad but I can post the songs of the bands!

My dad absolutely LOVES Stills. This was his favorite show.


I'll try to post more soon.
I never got to attend concerts with my parents. Feel free to share any stories. :)
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,588
14,926
What am I supposed to do?????
 
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