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Discussion Can anyone actually imagine themselves becoming old

dec132013

dec132013

Member
Joined
Aug 6, 2020
Messages
82
Bare with me cause this might make no sense, but even when I was a kid and not suicidal I could never picture myself existing to the next grade in school, now that i'm 19 I still can't see myself living past 25 max.

Wtf are we even supposed to do with all the time we could potentially have? Does anyone truly want to have a long life, cause it seems like even the happiest people go on about how they miss being a teenager/young adult.
 
Raven Moon

Raven Moon

See my heart I decorate it like a grave
Joined
Feb 14, 2019
Messages
1,094
Nope no way. I don't think I'll make it to 30 and I definitely don't want to grow old. Sadly longevity runs in my family...I will 100% die by suicide.
 
Pupu

Pupu

Member
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Jan 28, 2020
Messages
32
I don't know was this question supposed to be "Did anyone even image themselves becoming old since being depressed/suicidal" or just how the title has been written. Because I think it is pretty common young people (and other too) can't really picture themselves being older than they currently are.
 
Crazy Squirrel

Crazy Squirrel

"Me hates life and me wants to die, zansu!"
Joined
Jul 26, 2020
Messages
19
Ha ha, since I'm already "very old" (according your standards, at any rate), I've been giving this subject a lot of thought, lately. Not only do I not want to experience my body slowly breaking down over the next few decades, I really don't ever want to get shut away in some nursing home. Unspeakable horrors often happen in such places, and life has been bad enough, already. However, no matter how bad I've felt, I've never been able to override my survival instinct and go through with catching the bus. Maybe global events and climate change will finally make me able to force my hand, I don't know.
 
nnnerve

nnnerve

im so depressed i cant even blink
Joined
Jun 19, 2019
Messages
575
Maybe middle-aged-ish, but definitely not old. Aging seems like such a hassle on top of every other day-to-day challenge of living. Like I'm already overwhelmed with existing and I'm in really good health; it's hard to imagine sticking around once that starts to decline.

Honestly though, one of my biggest fears is not having the courage to ctb and being stuck here long past my expiration date. Getting old enough for it to matter feels like a worst case scenario kind of thing...
 
Vault of Memories

Vault of Memories

A temporary being in a temporary world
Joined
Mar 24, 2020
Messages
183
As soon as I became depressed I never pictured myself making it out of high school. I just turned 27 and nothing has changed...
 
TheSoundofTime

TheSoundofTime

In time you will find peace...
Joined
Aug 9, 2020
Messages
67
well... I remember when I once thought that 25 is way too long to reach and here I am - 27 lol.
Regarding old age, after seeing the life of my grandparents up until the end at age of 78 and 82, I can tell you 100% that I’m not going to get even close to that age
 
Manoban

Manoban

Specialist
Joined
Apr 5, 2020
Messages
350
I can imagine it, and it’s depressing and rather terrifying to think about. So I want to die before it becomes reality.
 
Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Joined
Apr 12, 2019
Messages
4,422
I never expected to get anywhere near the age I'm currently at, so I'm afraid one can't put much faith in the predictive power of can't-imagining. But I'm familiar with the sensation.
 
cryptic__egg

cryptic__egg

Illuminated
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May 9, 2020
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1,606
I cannot picture it at all. I am 18 and committed to ctb, so thoughts of the future just aren't around in my head right now.
 
thrw_a_way1221221

thrw_a_way1221221

Angel of Choice - on borrowed time.
Joined
Aug 30, 2018
Messages
5,169
Even in the best of all circumstances, I don't look forward to becoming old or to the age where I no longer have the faculties or physical capacity I once had when I was younger. To me, that isn't living but just existing and I'd rather die young and fulfilled than old and empty with only memories and regrets. As of now, I don't seek to live for a long time, but thinking of checking out either this year, next year, or at my earliest convenience.
 
A

alexit

Master
Joined
Jun 3, 2020
Messages
455
Bare with me cause this might make no sense, but even when I was a kid and not suicidal I could never picture myself existing to the next grade in school, now that i'm 19 I still can't see myself living past 25 max.

Wtf are we even supposed to do with all the time we could potentially have? Does anyone truly want to have a long life, cause it seems like even the happiest people go on about how they miss being a teenager/young adult.
No, I’ve always planned to die before my 40s.
 
N

nomoreenergy

Member
Joined
Feb 29, 2020
Messages
18
I relate-- I always figured that my max would be 21 because by then I could guarantee an easier way out. I hate admitting it and I feel like I should have tried harder to recover. I really have tried to keep surviving and some part of me hopes it would make it past the day.
 
S

stillweary

Member
Joined
May 15, 2020
Messages
64
Even if I wasn't suicidal, there is no template in my country for the type of old person that I would want to become. If I become old, it will have to be because I carved my own path. In my country, old people are not wise. There is no respect among them for younger people. There are no strong matriarch figures-- older women as a group are largely erased. There is no cultural or hereditary wisdom. There is no respect or gratitude for the lessons of life. There is no cultural acknowledgement of the very real and very natural departure of this life and the passing toward the next. All I see modeled by old people in my country is a bizarre hatred of youth and an unwillingness to value anything beyond their own selfish ambitions.
 
Blue LIPS

Blue LIPS

Ave Satanas
Joined
Jun 28, 2020
Messages
409
I just wanna be that gun totin’ weed smokin’ Grandpa. But I probably won’t make it that far. I’m sure the various weird things as a kid I’ve smoked won’t help lol catnip, newspaper, cig butts, tea leaves etc. The foil probably didn’t help or the paint off of a Coke can lol.
 
Myforevercharlie

Myforevercharlie

Enlightened
Joined
Feb 13, 2020
Messages
898
I'm already old. Even though I chose to live out this life, I'll probably won't reach a very old age. I wrecked my body with to much shit, and take a lot of meds..
 
DazaiCTB

DazaiCTB

This life ain't worth living
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
33
Yeah, that's going to be a no from me. There's no way this flesh prison is lasting that long.
 
nitroautnz

nitroautnz

Wise
Joined
Sep 11, 2020
Messages
293
Being old im fine with that, being old in with my problems? Hell no
 
sadworld

sadworld

my anxiety the size of a planet
Joined
Aug 25, 2020
Messages
118
That's a no from me, i would have to go through so much pain over all the years
 
Tasdevil

Tasdevil

Member
Joined
Jan 20, 2020
Messages
83
in my 20’s I didn’t want to live into my 30’s then I did not want to make to my 40’s but I definitely don’t want to see my 43rd birthday so I have just over a year and hopefully I will be gone well before my 43rd birthday. Definitely don’t want to live until I am old.
 
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