Brief moments of not wanting to die

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cryptic__egg

cryptic__egg

Illuminated
May 9, 2020
1,263
5,954
I get moments like these and it feels great. I feel in control and capable of managing life. It feels like I'm not a total failure and I can clearly see things that I like about myself. I know it will get worse soon and I'll go back to planning suicide, but right now I feel okay. I'm going to eat a cheeseburger.
 
Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Elementalist
Mar 5, 2019
788
2,714
Good on you brother. A cheese burger sounds great.
Maybe sometimes without the dark you can't truly appreciate the light?
Love and respect brother
DBD
 
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D

drowinginsorrowww

I dunno
Jan 28, 2020
693
921
Not necessarily, maybe you win the lotto or something, enjoy your cheeseburger!
(also can I ask where your avatar is from?, looking for things to watch lol)
 
Doormat

Doormat

Life is never so bad that it can't get any worse
May 22, 2020
40
92
Got one right now! Just been for a walk through the woods and it was beautiful
 
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cryptic__egg

cryptic__egg

Illuminated
May 9, 2020
1,263
5,954
Yeah, for me...I used to want to live, but had moments of wanting to die.

Now, I usually want to die with moments of wanting to live.
I understand that. Same thing happened with me really. A few years ago suicidal thoughts were just a little itch at the back of my mind. Now it feels like they're the only thing in my mind at all times.
 
Ijustneeditalltostop

Ijustneeditalltostop

Just a sad old soul searching for a way to escape
May 23, 2020
30
47
Yas! I got that feeling this morning, i didn't sleep for 2 days n spent the whole morning excited about absolutely nothing then decided tht i want to live and forget about ctb
Then few hours later here I am, back to planning how to end this freakin mess thts called life..
 
J

JoeFailure

Arcanist
Apr 29, 2019
549
1,405
Are you saying it gets worse?
It can go either way. At this time last year I was a total mess and intensely thought about CTB just about every waking moment. Now it's about half the day. I guess that's progress.
 
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Nyxx33

Nyxx33

Member
May 8, 2020
94
398
I just get this when I’m joking with friends, in nature, see cute kids or animals, think about good experiences I’ve had or my passion for travel / languages, or hear a song I really love and dance some. Every other time I wish I had the courage to end things.
 
cryptic__egg

cryptic__egg

Illuminated
May 9, 2020
1,263
5,954
when im on drugs
Respectable
I just get this when I’m joking with friends, in nature, see cute kids or animals, think about good experiences I’ve had or my passion for travel / languages, or hear a song I really love and dance some. Every other time I wish I had the courage to end things.
I do get the same thing with friends, though I'm not very social so I don't see friends much.
 
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