[Venting] Because we talk about suicide, it means we won’t do it...

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Inner_dialogue

Member
May 19, 2020
35
122
According to the crisis clinician who I spoke to today.... so they denied me help because they don’t think I’ll do it. It almost feels like a challenge. I can’t believe that I got the courage to ask for help, to then be told no. That’s deffo made me ready now
 
NekoNomNom

NekoNomNom

One drop of love from him and my hearts in ecstacy
May 3, 2020
141
462
What assholes. I can only imagine the anxiety of actually trying to reach out for something, only to have it backfire like that. I'm so sorry for the experience you had.
 
4eyebiped

4eyebiped

Member
Dec 28, 2019
73
191
Yeah, I can not imagine what was going through their minds. You should never turn away someone seeking help. If you feel you cannot help them, then point them in a direction that can. Good news for you, this forum is a good direction.
 
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Inner_dialogue

Member
May 19, 2020
35
122
What assholes. I can only imagine the anxiety of actually trying to reach out for something, only to have it backfire like that. I'm so sorry for the experience you had.
It was one of the hardest convos I’ve had. He just kept invalidating me, telling me I need to be more considerate towards others! I’ve always struggled asking for help, debating about ctb but after this, I am done. Clearly I’m not worth saving
so fuck him then
I’d rather not
I heard this too!! It’s really insensitive to say to someone who’s suffering. It can be a cry for help before an attempt and definitely doesn’t change the magnitude of the suicidal intent at all.
For him to just totally dismiss how I’m feeling, saying I’ve been honest for “self-preservation” which shows I won’t do it. It was a cry for help. But now I want to do it even more
Yeah, I can not imagine what was going through their minds. You should never turn away someone seeking help. If you feel you cannot help them, then point them in a direction that can. Good news for you, this forum is a good direction.
He didn’t even point me in the right direction! All my life I’ve had people let me down, making me feel like shit. The very people who were supposed to love and care for me are the ones who have hurt me the most. I just can’t trust anyone anymore and I can’t see another way out. I don’t want to hurt anymore
 
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Epsilon0

Epsilon0

Illuminated
Dec 28, 2019
1,744
3,567
And because I talk about having dinner this evening, it means I won’t.

Because if I was going to have dinner, I would be sitting at the kitchen table right now, instead of typing this message.

So, I’ll go to bed hungry... damn.

Impeccable logic!
 
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Inner_dialogue

Member
May 19, 2020
35
122
Precisely. It’s sad, these people are there to help protect us. It’s things like that that people should be trying to change, not groups like SS who actually listen to their members and never judge
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

I plan to die by suicide. Shouganai.
Apr 8, 2020
139
341
Shame on that clinician for refusing to help you. They may have been under the impression that because you may be ambivalent towards suicide, that means you won't do it...but that's a horrible, dangerous assumption to make. I hope that you can find someone with a damn brain who is actually willing to help you.

It almost feels like a challenge.
I love how you worded this. It really does feel that way.
 
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Inner_dialogue

Member
May 19, 2020
35
122
Shame on that clinician for refusing to help you. They may have been under the impression that because you may be ambivalent towards suicide, that means you won't do it...but that's a horrible, dangerous assumption to make. I hope that you can find someone with a damn brain who is actually willing to help you.



I love how you worded this. It really does feel that way.
It was like he was egging me on to do it! I’m tired of asking for help. People say there’s always something holding me back from doing it, and it was the small glimmer of hope that things could get better and someone will help me. But after nearly a year of this, I just can’t anymore. That hope has gone
 
G

Gettlinge

Member
Oct 27, 2019
11
20
And then people encourage us to open up and “be vulnerable” as if that’s where the problem lies. Every damn public conversation about suicide seems to mention showing your vulnerabilities solves everything. When obviously it’s not the issue but the people like this asshole who brush you off right when after you muster up the energy and courage to talk. I’m very sorry this happened to you.
 
GoBack

GoBack

Elementalist
Apr 25, 2020
782
659
I love how they dismiss a "cry for help" as something you don't need help for. It's like a fking riddle.

People say that all the time. If you asked for help with say, moving something heavy, no one would say, " well you don't really mean that it's just a cry for help"
 
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BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

I plan to die by suicide. Shouganai.
Apr 8, 2020
139
341
It was like he was egging me on to do it! I’m tired of asking for help. People say there’s always something holding me back from doing it, and it was the small glimmer of hope that things could get better and someone will help me. But after nearly a year of this, I just can’t anymore. That hope has gone
I'm so sorry. I completely understand how you feel, mate. People can only take so much rejection and unprofessionalism, and I'm sorry that you've had that misfortune.
 
I

Inner_dialogue

Member
May 19, 2020
35
122
And then people encourage us to open up and “be vulnerable” as if that’s where the problem lies. Every damn public conversation about suicide seems to mention showing your vulnerabilities solves everything. When obviously it’s not the issue but the people like this asshole who brush you off right when after you muster up the energy and courage to talk. I’m very sorry this happened to you.
Exactly! And after it happens a few times you just give up. Talking about suicide can help so many people, if they don’t judge and are actually willing to listen! I wasn’t asking him to agree with me!
I love how they dismiss a "cry for help" as something you don't need help for. It's like a fking riddle
Oh yeh, I don’t just willy nilly open up to talk about suicide for shits and giggles
 
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Xali1970

Xali1970

Wise
Sep 4, 2018
232
657
In my experience public mental health priorities are:
1/ keep you out of hospital as much as possible
2/ if possible keep you in or get you back to work
3/ that's it.
Your wellbeing is not part of the equation
 
I

Inner_dialogue

Member
May 19, 2020
35
122
I love how they dismiss a "cry for help" as something you don't need help for. It's like a fking riddle.

People say that all the time. If you asked for help with say, moving something heavy, no one would say, " well you don't really mean that it's just a cry for help"
Good point. They ask you to open up and be honest, but then they tear you down when you do... can’t win.
In my experience public mental health priorities are:
1/ keep you out of hospital as much as possible
2/ if possible keep you in or get you back to work
3/ that's it.
Your wellbeing is not part of the equation
That’s so true! It’s not like people happily want to be in hospital. I’ve been there, it’s not a great place!! I’m not surprised suicide rates are on the rise
 
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NekoNomNom

NekoNomNom

One drop of love from him and my hearts in ecstacy
May 3, 2020
141
462
It was one of the hardest convos I’ve had. He just kept invalidating me, telling me I need to be more considerate towards others! I’ve always struggled asking for help, debating about ctb but after this, I am done. Clearly I’m not worth saving.
I'll bet. Reaching out is incredibly difficult to do. It takes a lot to overcome the fear of rejection and judgement. You would think that they would hire/volunteer people who have some empathy.

That is probably one of the worst things you can tell a suicidal person. I can't stand essentially being told that everybody else's feelings come before my own; that I'm being selfish for wanting to be at peace.

You still have us here at SS, no matter what you decide to do. So please don't hesitate to express how you're feeling.
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

I plan to die by suicide. Shouganai.
Apr 8, 2020
139
341
Talking about suicide can help so many people, if they don’t judge and are actually willing to listen!
I absolutely agree. I was just talking with my suicidal patient about this recently. People don't open up about this crap for no reason. I wish more people would be compassionate and just listen to the person. Not offer unwarranted advice, not judge them. People need to just shut the hell up and set themselves aside for a moment and listen. A kind and attending ear can help/validate someone so much.
 
I

Inner_dialogue

Member
May 19, 2020
35
122
I'll bet. Reaching out is incredibly difficult to do. It takes a lot to overcome the fear of rejection and judgement. You would think that they would hire/volunteer people who have some empathy.

That is probably one of the worst things you can tell a suicidal person. I can't stand essentially being told that everybody else's feelings come before my own; that I'm being selfish for wanting to be at peace.

You still have us here at SS, no matter what you decide to do. So please don't hesitate to express how you're feeling.
Thank you. I’ve been putting people first my whole life so I think it’s time for me to put my own happiness first, which is to end all this pain
I’ve got a method in mind that I think will work, that’s where my heads at atm.
 
NekoNomNom

NekoNomNom

One drop of love from him and my hearts in ecstacy
May 3, 2020
141
462
Thank you. I’ve been putting people first my whole life so I think it’s time for me to put my own happiness first, which is to end all this pain
I’ve got a method in mind that I think will work, that’s where my heads at atm.
I completely understand. You should definitely take a step back to focus on yourself. No matter what you decide, it's always good to have something to fall back on.
 
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BridgeJumper1994

BridgeJumper1994

Wizard
Apr 7, 2019
660
909
You wont do it, you just want attention, and also youre selfish
^ Every mental health professional I have met ever

Smh
Sorry youre in the same place :/
 
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I

Inner_dialogue

Member
May 19, 2020
35
122
That is BS. My husband talked about it, and he did it! I'm sorry they said this to you. :hug: :heart:
Sorry to hear you’re husband did it hope he’s at peace now
You wont do it, you just want attention, and also youre selfish
^ Every mental health professional I have met ever

Smh
Sorry youre in the same place :/
Too true! how you supposed to get help (if you want it) if you ain’t being honest?! It’s sad to hear so many of us have experienced the same thing!
 
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TheSkyIsBlue

Member
May 16, 2020
31
90
How can you say something like this when you should be helping people who suffer? I would expect it from some random douchebag, but not a crisis center.
 
H

heavyglow

Member
Dec 14, 2019
20
19
So fucking ridiculous.... People who Talk about and making Plans are of course high risk patients. I Wonder if they really really believe that bullshit they tell of if theyre just helpless..

i know it Feels like a challenge But it really should not.Are there other places where you can seek help?
 
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TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Angelic
Aug 27, 2018
2,102
6,718
Many people with suicidal thoughts have had it for years and had contemplated a plan to do it or even attempt several times, but none suicidal people are so ignorant they think if a person is suicidal they will just kill themselves immediately.

Take Chester Bennington (lead singer of Linkin Park) for example it was clear through his music he had suicidal thoughts for decades and who knows how many attempts he have had if any, but my point being people with suicidal thought are truly fighting a fiers battle every day untill they finally kill themselves.
 
SpottedPanda

SpottedPanda

Member
Jul 24, 2019
51
71
That reasoning is startling to me. For one example, I was reading suicide in the news, and one controversy was of a young woman who'd killed herself in a tent in the countryside, but prior to that she'd made 300 or so posts on a popular suicide forum. With a bit of Googling I found that it was this forum, and joined, thinking that if it led someone else to success, if I can call it that, then it could help me. The reasoning doesn't stand that talking is the opposite of planning to do, because thoughts lead to actions