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Are you 100% sure you're going to ctb?

Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Joined
Feb 10, 2020
Messages
587
I have some hope, but I remain doubtful. Either way, I have a 99% chance of ctb'ing after I turn 30. That 1% chance is if my life does turn around in the next 3.5 years and even that seems a little too high of an estimate.
 
Raven Moon

Raven Moon

See my heart I decorate it like a grave
Joined
Feb 14, 2019
Messages
1,094
I am 100% sure ctb is my fate whether it's sooner or later. Ideally I would love to live and have a few good years but that feels like a far off dream. I just know if nothing improves soon I don't know how much longer I can last.
 
nitroautnz

nitroautnz

Wise
Joined
Sep 11, 2020
Messages
293
I am really tired of living, but i can't say for sure that i will ctb. I don't know how i will react when I will have to do it, and I always have the thought of the pain I will inflict to the people i love if i do it and its broke my heart every time.
 
FarAcrossTheWater

FarAcrossTheWater

Member
Joined
Sep 5, 2020
Messages
35
My life is over. I can't live a happy life. I'm tired of fighting battles that will never end. The hope of a peaceful exit is the only thing keeping me going everyday. When I wake up, my first thoughts are hope that I will die peacefully.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

"So if you love me let me go" -snuff
Joined
Jul 1, 2020
Messages
1,226
I feel like I've been getting better but I still want to die. I still can't see the future. But it's not actively "I wish I had..... So I could...." it's more passively where the thought just kinda pops into my head and I don't really disagree with it. So I'm not sure how I'm going to die but I do know as of right now it still feels like it will be by my own hand
 
demuic

demuic

You used to be alright, what happened?
Joined
Sep 12, 2020
Messages
50
If the world won't take me out of it, I'll take myself out. I know I'll CTB eventually unless I happen to die by some accident or physical illness like cancer. The only thing keeping me here is my mother. I know when she is no longer around (which hurts me to even say), I'll definitely no longer be here.
 
S

Spitfire

Specialist
Joined
Apr 26, 2020
Messages
333
I don't have any doubt. I am 100% sure about it.

An accident or something else could happen? I know this is outside of the context in which you are asking, but outside of this I am 100% certain.

I'm not sure why this makes me sad sometimes? It does though. Its probably because I wish it didn't have to be this way?

I've gotten to be there for soo many people at their passing. A real honor and all of them were the most privileged moments of my life.

In the environment I was in people were not dying nicely. I try to remember that part of it. It could have been the environment?

My idea of having it happen any other way is really distorted. Sometimes I think I did see too much.
 
Conker

Conker

Veteran
Joined
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
125
Hope isn't an unexplainable mystery, and as for real hopes there's only 2 that anybody apart of the ultimate good has ever had.

Regardless, yeah I'm 99% sure this is how it will end. I've given up on this place, don't want to open up my eyes ever again within such a poisoned world. There's this fiery rage within me that I need to extinguish. Least in nonexistence none of this will matter any longer to my current me & I that's animating this walking corpse. It's depressing to realize that as my level of awareness became higher, my will for ceasing to exist only got stronger. You know how they say "he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow"

Although you didn't increase the sorrow, it's just that you unveiled this reality to see how much grief you and everybody else is in. You've stopped buying into the potent illusion of fake happiness & fake peace. All will finally be clear only once spiritual eradication (amnesia) has been effectively solved. Until then, hopelessness will remain as humanity's bride.


And if the devils running this insane asylum forced this false reality onto us, then they're the real virus that have to be deleted from existence.
 
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141592653

141592653

TW She/Her
Joined
Aug 9, 2020
Messages
44
I hope I'll kill myself. I don't know when, but if there is one thing I wanna control is my death, since I didn't control my birth.
Anyway I'm 141% sure I'll be dead young in regard to all the shit I take that will ruin my health anyway.

I don't wan't to die in a car crash that is stupid death. And I HATE cars as much as phones.
Unless it's a ctb car crash, but I don't like this method for obvious reasons [CLUE : see the upper line]
 
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