I’m debating if I should try hanging tonight. I’m not sure it’ll work and if I fail then I get caught because it’ll leave marks. Then I get sent to psych ward probably.
It’s so messed up. I have “access” to guns, we have like 20 in the gun room. But the gun room door is locked, the gun safes are locked, and the ammo is locked.
I ordered sn and dad dumped it in drain.
Now only option to hang.. ffs.
but yeh sorry for vent/rant I pretty much am just waiting for time alone and courage. Survival instinct sucks. That’s why I wanted sn or gun. Way easier to overcome SI