Anyone only had 'downs' throughout their entire life and 'meh' moments, no ups?

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Apr 7, 2018
75
285
I see people saying perhaps as a form of cognitive dissonance when I comment that I'm clearly in a worse position than many my age, ''We all have our ups and downs in life''.

I can honestly say that apart from a few times I was on drugs (which has been since 2017), I have never had any ups. It's amazing that only a few years back I came to the realization that I told my mother I wanted to kill myself when I was 10. The 'rejection' of existence was definitely not at any level of being profound or well thought out but it was there lingering in the background to wake up when I was a teenager.

No normies, it doesn't ''get better'' for everyone. Logic and common sense would dictate that some people are born into factors that will never allow them to experience any long term stability/pleasure/happiness/or comfort.
 
Mar 31, 2018
1,037
5,297
I have mostly down and meh moments, though I would be lying if I didn't have a few ups, too. The issue with having ups when your life is mostly in either "meh" or "down", is that such moments become unforgettable. My "ups" have come back haunt me some many times that at this point, I question if I should still consider them "ups".
 
Apr 9, 2018
62
158
Well when everything in your life is down and the slightest meh happens to you it feels like an up when in reality it's not really an up at all. I mean a true up would be when I died.
 

MAIO

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2018
802
2,401
I see people saying perhaps as a form of cognitive dissonance when I comment that I'm clearly in a worse position than many my age, ''We all have our ups and downs in life''.

I can honestly say that apart from a few times I was on drugs (which has been since 2017), I have never had any ups. It's amazing that only a few years back I came to the realization that I told my mother I wanted to kill myself when I was 10. The 'rejection' of existence was definitely not at any level of being profound or well thought out but it was there lingering in the background to wake up when I was a teenager.

No normies, it doesn't ''get better'' for everyone. Logic and common sense would dictate that some people are born into factors that will never allow them to experience any long term stability/pleasure/happiness/or comfort.
So tell me if any of this does not make sense. People are raised to believe death is the worse thing ever and life is the best thing ever and there is every form of bias on the issue. To top if off people have a instinct to survive regardless of what is best for them. When in reality the evidence supports death is neutral , the closest example being a eternal dreamless sleep. Sleep is just neutral, the average person life goes above and below neutral all the time. It's just that this distorted view on the issue causes them to think life is always or almost always superior to death. From their point of view, because of this distortion you can only feel suicidal at the worse possible times, something has to be seriously wrong. The average person's life is not drastically, insurmountably better than death, they just have a very rose colored view on the issue.
 

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
1,759
So tell me if any of this does not make sense. People are raised to believe death is the worse thing ever and life is the best thing ever and there is every form of bias on the issue. To top if off people have a instinct to survive regardless of what is best for them. When in reality the evidence supports death is neutral , the closest example being a eternal dreamless sleep. Sleep is just neutral, the average person life goes above and below neutral all the time. It's just that this distorted view on the issue causes them to think life is always or almost always superior to death. From their point of view, because of this distortion you can only feel suicidal at the worse possible times, something has to be seriously wrong. The average person's life is not drastically, insurmountably better than death, they just have a very rose colored view on the issue.
It's worse than that, in fact. The "goods" are just a removal of the bad. You're hungry so you eat, horny you fuck, lonely you seek companionship, etc... Sometimes it's more subtle and nuanced than these examples but that's the gist of it. We're evolutionary meant to spend most of our time in states of varying degrees of deprivation, that's what keeps biological animals moving.
 

MAIO

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2018
802
2,401
It's worse than that, in fact. The "goods" are just a removal of the bad. You're hungry so you eat, horny you fuck, lonely you seek companionship, etc... Sometimes it's more subtle and nuanced than these examples but that's the gist of it. We're evolutionary meant to spend most of our time in states of varying degrees of deprivation, that's what keeps biological animals moving.
Let's say we could graph the bad in comparison to the goods how would they compare? Where do you think the line of an average person life would look like?
 

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
1,759
Let's say we could graph the bad in comparison to the goods how would they compare? Where do you think the line of an average person life would look like?
It's impossible to do it precisely but I think just looking at the best pleasures compared to the worst pains would be satisfactory. Just for the sake of discussion, let's call orgasm the greatest pleasure and, idk, being set on fire the worst. Is the orgasm worth it? lol I tried to make a line graph of the average Western life but it was too shitty to show. But basically an up and down line with an overall descent as one ages.

One thing I'll note, that my old friend used to say to me; in life, there can be chronic pain but no such thing as chronic pleasure.
 

MAIO

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2018
802
2,401
"let's call orgasm the greatest pleasure and, idk, being set on fire the worst. Is the orgasm worth it? " The greatest pleasure would be some unnatural drug high-the problem is the downtime are almost always far greater than the up times. So I will agree to orgasm. When does overall descent occur? For instance I was under the impression people report being happiest in their 50s. My rational thoughts/intuition has always told me life is not worth it based on these types of graphs, but it's so hard to graph. I work with a guy who is almost always happy(chronic happiness) but severely mentally disabled, yet I would not trade places with him. Do you think that is a cognitive bias I have as a result of evolution? After all, I am fairly confident if I was told I had the option to live but my life would be more negative than positive, I would say no and that would be the rational choice.
 

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
1,759
"let's call orgasm the greatest pleasure and, idk, being set on fire the worst. Is the orgasm worth it? " The greatest pleasure would be some unnatural drug high-the problem is the downtime are almost always far greater than the up times. So I will agree to orgasm. When does overall descent occur? For instance I was under the impression people report being happiest in their 50s. My rational thoughts/intuition has always told me life is not worth it based on these types of graphs, but it's so hard to graph. I work with a guy who is almost always happy(chronic happiness) but severely mentally disabled, yet I would not trade places with him. Do you think that is a cognitive bias I have as a result of evolution? After all, I am fairly confident if I was told I had the option to live but my life would be more negative than positive, I would say no and that would be the rational choice.
Nowadays, the spiral down is probably 70+, but we're kept alive artificially for so long the low is often extreme. People report a lot of shit lol, just because someone says they are happy doesn't necessarily mean they are. There's an unspoken pressure in our society to always be positive and appear well adjusted, no matter what. Here is a good video on that topic Yeah some advanced drug high is probably the greatest pleasure, I'd agree. But, like you say it's got loads of downsides. Why would you take it then? Just curious.

Mental disability is a bit different, their highs are often higher but the lows are also more extreme. At least that's the way it is with the mentally retarded people I've known. I think it's partially because they don't have the same context for life that we do. They're more visceral in frame. No, it's not irrational to not want to live that sort of life. They're still going to suffer, a lot, and for naught. At least, as you are, you have options.
 
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ChizuruN

Failure at Living, Failure at Dying
Mar 20, 2018
88
278
Honestly, I have had some ups in my life, but as I've gotten older, they just become harder to come by.
Most of my life now is just downs and "meh" moments.
I feel that living just for those "Up moments" is dumb (for me at least), given that they are so few and far between.
 

Fylobatica

Inactive
Apr 1, 2018
368
1,295
Living day by day in a neutral mental state it's the maximum I can achieve; and it costed me about 11/12 years of continuous breakdowns.
Still, I personally think that the pursuit of happiness - while it can be rewarding to some- to me it's time-consuming and it doesn't make me a functional human being like it's supposed to do. There's still something missing.
 

Waco

New Member
Sep 23, 2019
2
0
I see people saying perhaps as a form of cognitive dissonance when I comment that I'm clearly in a worse position than many my age, ''We all have our ups and downs in life''.

I can honestly say that apart from a few times I was on drugs (which has been since 2017), I have never had any ups. It's amazing that only a few years back I came to the realization that I told my mother I wanted to kill myself when I was 10. The 'rejection' of existence was definitely not at any level of being profound or well thought out but it was there lingering in the background to wake up when I was a teenager.

No normies, it doesn't ''get better'' for everyone. Logic and common sense would dictate that some people are born into factors that will never allow them to experience any long term stability/pleasure/happiness/or comfort.
I see people saying perhaps as a form of cognitive dissonance when I comment that I'm clearly in a worse position than many my age, ''We all have our ups and downs in life''.

I can honestly say that apart from a few times I was on drugs (which has been since 2017), I have never had any ups. It's amazing that only a few years back I came to the realization that I told my mother I wanted to kill myself when I was 10. The 'rejection' of existence was definitely not at any level of being profound or well thought out but it was there lingering in the background to wake up when I was a teenager.

No normies, it doesn't ''get better'' for everyone. Logic and common sense would dictate that some people are born into factors that will never allow them to experience any long term stability/pleasure/happiness/or comfort.
My mother said that I told her I wanted to"unmake " myself when I was four. My downs last for weeks. My "ups" are short in duration and almost painful in intensity. Suicide runs rampant in my family. Talking to"normal" people results in being told to "get ahold of yourself" type responses.Psych meds are generally ineffective with significant side effects. N would be perfect but almost impossible to obtain. OD'd on lithium very unpleasant.
 

Sweet emotion

Illuminated
Sep 14, 2019
1,336
1,966
I see people saying perhaps as a form of cognitive dissonance when I comment that I'm clearly in a worse position than many my age, ''We all have our ups and downs in life''.

I can honestly say that apart from a few times I was on drugs (which has been since 2017), I have never had any ups. It's amazing that only a few years back I came to the realization that I told my mother I wanted to kill myself when I was 10. The 'rejection' of existence was definitely not at any level of being profound or well thought out but it was there lingering in the background to wake up when I was a teenager.

No normies, it doesn't ''get better'' for everyone. Logic and common sense would dictate that some people are born into factors that will never allow them to experience any long term stability/pleasure/happiness/or comfort.
I can relate to you that life was meh and you never had any ups. I got sick at age 20 with the highest ranking pain condition in medical history. It was then that my life stopped and I was unable to live like a normal person. I'm 34 now and have spent over half. My life in pain that no one could ever imagine unless they experienced it for themselves. I wanted to have an amazing life. I wanted to go to activate school and meet all kinds of people. But 20 was when I died. Ever since I've just been existing. I had an amazing childhood but at 15 I had a huge problem with OCD. It lasted for over two years and I wanted to die. Then I had a couple ok years and got sick. So I understand what you mean.