[Discussion] Anyone here resent the gender they were born as?

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HighwayToHell

HighwayToHell

-
Jan 29, 2020
96
161
Not a transgender exclusive question. Cis people can answer too.

Personally I can't shake the feeling my life would've been much better if I had been born male, and I can't stand the thought of being stuck in this body till I'm 80 or so. I completely hate being a woman and I've been treated like shit for being one.
If I was a boy I feel like I'd receive love and encouragement instead of discouragement and abuse. Being a girl ruined my life.

Anyone else here feel like they would've had an easier time if they were born in the opposite gender?
 
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lovemelovemenot

lovemelovemenot

what's the use...?
Jun 22, 2019
69
256
Yeah I've always felt like this. I know I'm not trans, but I always kinda wished I was born a male instead. Thought it would make things easier for me, at least certain aspects of life. I've never been too in touch with my feminine side, always been a tomboy, and I'm bisexual with a slight preference for girls. I hate dealing with periods, being expected to have children and always having this standard of what a women looks like and acts like over my head. No matter how much I worked out and took supplements, I'll pretty much always be weaker than half of the population. I can't walk around alone without the fear of being harrassed, even if I'm looking a mess dressed in an oversized shirt and sweats. At the end of the day, I know both sexes deal with their fair share of bullshit and it probably wouldn't change much in regards to where I've ended up.(wanting to ctb)
 
deltahead

deltahead

Veteran
May 28, 2019
139
346
i loathe being a man and all it entails, and am conceived it will forever be another source of misery and shame to me. however, i don't feel like any of this would be improved if i had been born a woman instead. it just doesn't seem realistic. sure plenty of things would be vastly different, but all they'd amount to is different misery, different shame. especially being born a woman in this kind of country, in this kind of brainless hyper-religious family would have opened me up to so much emotional and maybe even sexual abuse. it sounds like pure torture so i just have to begrudgingly accept my maleness, even though it often feels unbearable. the better choice would be to never have been born, to not exist as any gender. that's the only way to avoid this kind of pain.
 
heheb27595

heheb27595

Member
Nov 20, 2019
90
110
Female live longer, they receive gifts and stuff from desperate males.
Where I live they are queen and man are treated like shit.
Being born in a good geographical location is what I care more anyway.
 
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Wumbo

Wumbo

Member
Jan 29, 2020
20
67
I hate being a man. I feel so gross and disgusting, and men are known to do horrible shit to women and I hate being associated with that! But also I find my body so disgusting, especially with all the body hair and facial hair and just the whole form grosses me out I hate being tall too, I feel like a massive freak. And my anatomy is disgusting too.

I understand that women face many more problems and a great deal of oppression, and logically I shouldn’t want to be one, but I hate everything about being male, I’d rather die than live like this.

Ive tried transitioning because I wanted to make an attempt at being happy and making life worth living, but in reality you can only do so much to transition, and most trans women won’t pass. But even if I did pass my biology is still wrong, and I will never have the same experiences as natal females.
 
D

Dovepistil

New Member
Feb 12, 2020
1
4
Interesting, most posts have the word "hate". Is there a place for non-haters to post?

I'm a man who would prefer to be a woman, simply because they are worth more than I. I understand that men and women are equal, and that women are always more equal. Men are disposable. It's not part of some plot, just the way human evolution has left us, at this stage. I've simply grown very weary of 2nd place always and 1st place never. 'Seems obvious and natural feelings of a 2nd place life. Having reached the end of my days, I ask myself, "Do I really want even more of this?" I see passing on as blessed relief, not tragedy.
 
BearNoMore

BearNoMore

Polar Bear, ready for the ice to melt
Feb 9, 2020
38
70
I don’t hate my gender at all, and I don’t mean to be rude/upsetting to anyone here, but I feel extremely comfortable with it. The issue I have however is that I feel like I embody so many of the archetypical and stereotypical characteristics that personify being a man that I often get pre-judged by my appearance and I am not allowed to show much emotion at all.

I’m rather large physically, I’m decisive, outspoken, and am assertive in social/professional situations. It is my natural default but it makes it so people don’t expect me to display much of what I’m feeling, and boy, do I feel a lot.

I am well educated (first generation college graduate) and before my bipolar spiraled out of control I had a stellar career, but because of my physique the vast majority of people assume I’m some thoughtless mouth-breathing buffoon. It hurts me a lot. I value my intellect highly and it is discredited by people before they even hear me speak. Friends and women I’ve dated have admitted to me they thought as much before they got to know me. I fucking hate it.

Figured I’d thrown in a picture for context to elucidate my point.

P.S. Sorry if this feels like an out of place response, but given it is a discussion that encircles gender norms/expectations it felt relevant.

22ED2C21-FC97-4F26-9BF7-51AB5B7623A1.jpeg


- Bear
ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ
 
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enjoy

enjoy

Creature
Dec 20, 2019
237
416
i've always thought about what it's like to be a dude but i've never actually wanted to be one. the only thing i envy about guys is how tall most of them are and how the world still revolves around them and the patriarchy (not so much the first world anymore, but third world countries are still very shitty to women).

anyways... to all the cis guys here who wish they were a girl (excluding the ones who think they could be trans), it's not all sunshine and rainbows over here. apart from our insides self-destructing and gushing blood for a week of each month, it's just... tough, and sometimes even scary. daily tasks you currently do without a second thought (walking home on your own, going to the grocery store alone) are daunting for most women. we constantly have the prospect of being raped, kidnapped, sex-trafficked, etc. sitting in the back of our minds. we always have to have our guard up. it's more than tiring. obviously these things can happen to men, but being a woman typically comes with sometimes fearing for your life whenever doing something trivial. i always have to carry a knife and mace because anything's possible. it sucks ass. the worst part is that shit like this makes radical feminists push the notion that "all guys are creeps!11!!!1" and other bs like that. i feel bad for the majority of guys out there who get a bad name. most of y'all are just average, everyday dudes.

being either sex has its ups and downs. no one gender is better than the other. that's how i feel at the very least.
 
R

Read123456788

Member
Aug 23, 2019
68
114
I don’t hate my gender at all, and I don’t mean to be rude/upsetting to anyone here, but I feel extremely comfortable with it. The issue I have however is that I feel like I embody so many of the archetypical and stereotypical characteristics that personify being a man that I often get pre-judged by my appearance and I am not allowed to show much emotion at all.

I’m rather large physically, I’m decisive, outspoken, and am assertive in social/professional situations. It is my natural default but it makes it so people don’t expect me to display much of what I’m feeling, and boy, do I feel a lot.

I am well educated (first generation college graduate) and before my bipolar spiraled out of control I had a stellar career, but because of my physique the vast majority of people assume I’m some thoughtless mouth-breathing buffoon. It hurts me a lot. I value my intellect highly and it is discredited by people before they even hear me speak. Friends and women I’ve dated have admitted to me they thought as much before they got to know me. I fucking hate it.

Figured I’d thrown in a picture for context to elucidate my point.

P.S. Sorry if this feels like an out of place response, but given it is a discussion that encircles gender norms/expectations it felt relevant.

View attachment 27202

- Bear
ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ
you do you bear. You’re in fantastic shape and I can tell from your post you have the brains to go with it. It’s going to hurt your feelings you’re human but sod them if they can’t see your intellect then they’re not worth your time x o x
 
P

PaYo

Veteran
Jul 28, 2018
158
227
I wish to be a female as a boy you are in constant fight or flight mode. If you are a boy you need to be an alpha. Alpha gets listening from other people and they have to fight. Yes we are taught to be strong but this is occupied by hidding our feelings. So its not that great being a man.

Be greatful for being a female. Its a blessing
 
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BearNoMore

BearNoMore

Polar Bear, ready for the ice to melt
Feb 9, 2020
38
70
you do you bear. You’re in fantastic shape and I can tell from your post you have the brains to go with it. It’s going to hurt your feelings you’re human but sod them if they can’t see your intellect then they’re not worth your time x o x
Thank you for that reinforcement. I try to shrug it off and not let it rattle me, but I’ll try to double down on that. As you said, if that’s their viewpoint they aren’t worth my time.


- Bear
ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ
 
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ghostspace

ghostspace

ghost space, ghosts pace
Feb 10, 2020
104
258
I’m female, not trans, but I wish I at least looked like a man. Like 6 feet tall and super strong. Nobody would fuck with me then, I could defend myself and others.
No. My experiences being a girl has been awful. Far from a blessing.
same. none of the things that brought me here would have happened if I wasn’t a girl
 
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Meretlein

Meretlein

Expired Meat
Feb 15, 2019
800
2,343
There are a lot of things that I would change if I could have a rerun, my gender isn't one of them.

I do wish I was a taller woman though, it would be nice to meet everyone at eye level.
 
T

terry_a_davis

Veteran
Dec 28, 2019
118
113
I don’t hate my gender at all, and I don’t mean to be rude/upsetting to anyone here, but I feel extremely comfortable with it. The issue I have however is that I feel like I embody so many of the archetypical and stereotypical characteristics that personify being a man that I often get pre-judged by my appearance and I am not allowed to show much emotion at all.

I’m rather large physically, I’m decisive, outspoken, and am assertive in social/professional situations. It is my natural default but it makes it so people don’t expect me to display much of what I’m feeling, and boy, do I feel a lot.

I am well educated (first generation college graduate) and before my bipolar spiraled out of control I had a stellar career, but because of my physique the vast majority of people assume I’m some thoughtless mouth-breathing buffoon. It hurts me a lot. I value my intellect highly and it is discredited by people before they even hear me speak. Friends and women I’ve dated have admitted to me they thought as much before they got to know me. I fucking hate it.

Figured I’d thrown in a picture for context to elucidate my point.

P.S. Sorry if this feels like an out of place response, but given it is a discussion that encircles gender norms/expectations it felt relevant.

View attachment 27202

- Bear
ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ
Wow maximum respect to you you're in great shape. I for one wouldn't stereotype you as i know how much time, effort and knowledge getting in that sort of shape requires. Many moons ago i was in good shape, but i don't think i quite matched you. Years ago my workout partner for about 1 year was a PhD and in the best shape i'd ever seen of anyone in real life, he used to compete as an amateur. When i was in shape i used to get a kick out of being objectified by gay men and straight women lol :^) i guess that was a bit shallow of me.
 
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BPDbitch

BPDbitch

Veteran
Nov 10, 2019
117
325
I'm cis but I think I would have had a much better life as a guy. I'm a pretty unattractive female so my existence is a crime to some people lmao, meanwhile my brother (we look very similar) has lots of friends.
 
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lesserbohemian

lesserbohemian

Member
Feb 14, 2020
12
12
Yeah, I'm cis but other people's expectations of me based on my gender have made me suicidal since I started puberty at least. Being sexualised makes me want to not exist most of the time.
 
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KiraLittleOwl

KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
479
1,472
Gender is a spectrum, because brains are not binary.
I have learned that there are much more people who have some problems with their sex and gender, biologically and socially than people who actually transition...
Many of this are gender roles that are still very rigid in most communities but some people actually experience dissociation with some characteristics of their bodies that are gender specific... My ex wanted to have a penis for instance but she identifies as a female.
 
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
493
611
I can understand your rather wanting to be a male, although I think your reasoning is flawed. As a male, getting admiration is generally harder; their worth is to a larger extend reliant on their status, their achievements, and so they have a lower baseline of worth so to speak. A male has no 'inherent worth', his value lies in the use he can be to society through his work.


Now, that said, imo women have it a lot harder in our society and I often said that I'm glad I was born a man,- so I agree with you.

First of all women are basically reduced to their looks and their 'reproductive capabilities' (feminism may have lessened this tendency but I am giving a very simplistic account, which is also only my opinion btw); this means that the worth society places upon women will almost certainly decline as they age, because they inevitabily lose their two most valuable assets. They also can't make up for this loss as easily as men.

Secondly women are more vulnerable physically; although this means people are usually more protective of them, it still is something that I see as a net negative.

Thirdly, women still aren't really taken seriously in a lot of domains, just as African Americans and other groups who are discriminated against. Everyone can observe this kind of racism in himself with enough honesty btw.

Women have more physical ailments than men; they have periods, they have to bear children, and so forth.

So yeah, I agree and I wouldn't want to change gender even if I could. Women in our society have, on average, less power.

Edit: this all depends heavily on the organization of a society though and ours has really come a long way. One thing a lot of men would surely envy women for is the relative ease of finding someone to copulate with as a woman :-P

Edit2: I think you could also say: it is harder being young as a male and harder to be old as a woman in our society, in general.
 
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