Anyone else have a guy or girl you never went for because of being mentally ill?

Kramer

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There was one girl and it hurts whenever I think of her. I’m severely affected by ocd and ptsd. I’m also on disability. I figured there was no possible way it would’ve worked or ended well. I can attract women because I appear confident but it’s an act I put on unconsciously.
 
Good4Nothing

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Yes. Twice. Two beautiful girls who loved me when I was young, but I was so in love with them that it scared me and I ran away.
Because I'm insane. Or stupid. Probably both.
 
antigone_iris

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In my case, depression came with fear, terribly low self-esteem, anxiety and much doubt, so basically these are the things that stopped me from going for guys that I liked. So, I guess, yes.
 
NightmareTour

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PTSD from a past relationship and self esteem issues kept me from pursuing a relationship with someone I really liked. She made it pretty clear she was interested in me too, but I knew I wouldn't be able to trust anyone enough to maintain a healthy relationship after what happened. I think she's dating someone I used to hang out with now. (who also happens to be a friend of my abuser, but I always got the impression that he's an alright person. I'm happy she's happy.)
 
Kramer

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Yes. Twice. Two beautiful girls who loved me when I was young, but I was so in love with them that it scared me and I ran away.
Because I'm insane. Or stupid. Probably both.
Did you ever get over it? I thought I had but it came rushing back.
PTSD from a past relationship and self esteem issues kept me from pursuing a relationship with someone I really liked. She made it pretty clear she was interested in me too, but I knew I wouldn't be able to trust anyone enough to maintain a healthy relationship after what happened. I think she's dating someone I used to hang out with now. (who also happens to be a friend of my abuser, but I always got the impression that he's an alright person. I'm happy she's happy.)
I couldn’t imagine her being with someone else. Weirdest thing is that we only talked once, but she hardly said a word due to shyness. All the other times the communication was through looks and body language. My mind has projected so much onto her because I never really knew her. My mind torments me over a fantasy, a what-if.
 
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Burzolog

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I've met a few interesting people I wanted to approach but did feel like we would have different priorities because I'm suicidal and most people want to put down the roots in life. Looking back at things, a smart move would probably be asking if they're suicidal to figure out if we're compatible. Nothing to lose anyway.
 
Kramer

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I've met a few interesting people I wanted to approach but did feel like we would have different priorities because I'm suicidal and most people want to put down the roots in life. Looking back at things, a smart move would probably be asking if they're suicidal to figure out if we're compatible. Nothing to lose anyway.
That question wouldn’t go over well. Better to ask if they’re depressed. About the roots thing. I think I figured she’d want kids if we became serious, and I can’t have kids because I’m a broken person.
 
sadbadpsychogirl

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if i had the chance i would just go back act as normal as i could and go for it. i was kind of a dish back in the day..
 
Burzolog

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That question wouldn’t go over well. Better to ask if they’re depressed.
Probably. In that case I'm willing to explain myself. I'd say that I am suicidal, and that I don't see any point for myself to get to know someone who isn't because we would have conflicting views on life. It's like a junk food enthusiast meeting a health freak. That, I think, wouldn't go well. So I'm starting with the question that will determine if we are compatible on this basic level. Whether or not we see our lives as something generally worth experiencing, and if we plan to take our lives at some point. This question is the most important for me, because the vast majority of people would answer it differently from me.
 
Kramer

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No. The first was almost 30 years ago, the second just over 20. I still think about them, wonder what if.
Oh no. I can’t bear feeling this regret that long. It’s only been around 3 yrs since I last saw her. I’ve tried to find her through dating apps. I never got her name so I can’t look her up.
Probably. In that case I'm willing to explain myself. I'd say that I am suicidal, and that I don't see any point for myself to get to know someone who isn't because we would have conflicting views on life. It's like a junk food enthusiast meeting a health freak. That, I think, wouldn't go well. So I'm starting with the question that will determine if we are compatible on this basic level. Whether or not we see our lives as something generally worth experiencing, and if we plan to take our lives at some point. This question is the most important for me, because the vast majority of people would answer it differently from me.
You’ll turn off every woman if you ask that. This would fall under common sense.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

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That’s how I feel about every woman I’ve ever been attracted to or ever will be attracted to. Even with the recent example, I feel like she was put off by my issues which I understand.
 
Gnip

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I have never had a romantic/sexual girlfriend and never will for this reason. A few actually came on to me out of the blue, and we carried on flirtations which lasted years, but I eventually explained to them why I was so shy and relationship impaired.
 
Kramer

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That’s how I feel about every woman I’ve ever been attracted to or ever will be attracted to. Even with the recent example, I feel like she was put off by my issues which I understand.
How do you cope? Are you physically attractive but fucked up mentally?
I have never had a romantic/sexual girlfriend and never will for this reason. A few actually came on to me out of the blue, and we carried on flirtations which lasted years, but I eventually explained to them why I was so shy and relationship impaired.
What happened after you explained?
 
Dr Iron Arc

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How do you cope? Are you physically attractive but fucked up mentally?
I don’t cope very well. The most I do is complain a lot about it in places like here or I get openly hostile to people I know who are in relationships for the catharsis. :aw:

I personally don’t think I am very physically attractive (even though the woman I met here told me I was to her) and even if I am, I feel there is an internal ugliness within me that makes my below average to average looks not worth it.
 
Kramer

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I don’t cope very well. The most I do is complain a lot about it in places like here or I get openly hostile to people I know who are in relationships for the catharsis. :aw:

I personally don’t think I am very physically attractive (even though the woman I met here told me I was to her) and even if I am, I feel there is an internal ugliness within me that makes my below average to average looks not worth it.
I used to cope by reading a lot. Now I can’t because ocd has ruined that. I don’t cope well either. Strangely ctb is harder when I’m like this. It’s only when I feel numb when dying seems fine.
I don’t cope very well. The most I do is complain a lot about it in places like here or I get openly hostile to people I know who are in relationships for the catharsis. :aw:

I personally don’t think I am very physically attractive (even though the woman I met here told me I was to her) and even if I am, I feel there is an internal ugliness within me that makes my below average to average looks not worth it.
That internal feeling is insecurity.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

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I used to cope by reading a lot. Now I can’t because ocd has ruined that. I don’t cope well either. Strangely ctb is harder when I’m like this. It’s only when I feel numb when dying seems fine.
That’s pretty understandable. Though I usually want to CTB more when I’m explicitly ruminating on the potential relationships I lost rather than when I’m being numb...

To elaborate more on my mental fuckeduppedness, it seems that me having never been in a relationship at all in my 26 years of life has driven me mad and there is literally no way for me to not become unhealthily attached even if someone did manage to be stupid/crazy/uninformed enough to feel attracted to me. The experiences I did have will also inevitably lead me to compare any future partners to the potential relationships I could have had before which is also way too much pressure to put on a person. Knowing that me getting what I want will be guaranteed to put someone in such a horrible position is one major thing that makes CTB such a viable option for me because I know that with all my selfishness and cruelty it’s the only truly noble thing I can do.

That internal feeling is insecurity.
I definitely have a lot of that inside me, though I have concrete proof for most of my fears too.
 
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Kramer

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there have been a few...for a short period in my youth I could have had a few girlfriends but i'm so fucked up in the head...major regrets
There’s a few others for me too. Luckily I know their names lol. One has ignored me for years on social media but responded happily earlier this year, but the conversation didn’t last and she’s back to ignoring me. She has a bf so I imagine that’s why.

How do you cope? I’m sure you’re also tormented by it like I am
 
Burzolog

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You’ll turn off every woman if you ask that. This would fall under common sense.
Maybe. I don't like the idea of decieving (omitting important information) people to get them hooked, although I can clearly see some of the benefits here. And it's not like I'm in a position to look for sex/reproduction/life partners anyway. I could use some gaming/talking partners though. I have a good PC, lots of free time, and willingness to play co-op games.

Turn off... So what? I don't think I could accept someone who doesn't fit me, someone who doesn't appreciate honesty, and setting important matters first.
 
Surgeon

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Ahhh yes.
I've had a soft spot for a girl for maybe 10 years.
She's shown interest before but i like her so much i don't pursue it at all.

life.
 
Kramer

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Maybe. I don't like the idea of decieving (omitting important information) people to get them hooked, although I can clearly see some of the benefits here. And it's not like I'm in a position to look for sex/reproduction/life partners anyway. I could use some gaming/talking partners though. I have a good PC, lots of free time, and willingness to play co-op games.

Turn off... So what? I don't think I could accept someone who doesn't fit me, someone who doesn't appreciate honesty, and setting important matters first.
I’m too honest in regard to my issues since they’d find out eventually, but you shouldn’t look for the female equivalent of yourself.
Ahhh yes.
I've had a soft spot for a girl for maybe 10 years.
She's shown interest before but i like her so much i don't pursue it at all.

life.
Why don’t you try? I would kill to have another chance again.
 
Burzolog

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I’m too honest in regard to my issues since they’d find out eventually, but you shouldn’t look for the female equivalent of yourself.
I could do with males too, but I'm not a big fan of male voices.

Now that you mentioned it, I'd like to meet my female equivalent. I bet interacting with her would be an above average experience for both of us.
 
Surgeon

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Why don’t you try? I would kill to have another chance again.

I know that i'm not stable enough and don't have the vision to see a future i think she deserves with me.
I've experienced the typical heartbreak before it's not that i'm afraid of that. I don't want to waste her time or hurt her, genuinely.
I would do my best to marry her if i felt worthy but i can't be dragging anyone on this hell ride.
 
Kramer

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I know that i'm not stable enough and don't have the vision to see a future i think she deserves with me.
I've experienced the typical heartbreak before it's not that i'm afraid of that. I don't want to waste her time or hurt her, genuinely.
I would do my best to marry her if i felt worthy but i can't be dragging anyone on this hell ride.
That’s how I felt when I didn’t go for that girl a few years ago. That feeling lasted up until recently and I don’t know how to deal with the regret. It’s torturing me.
 
Surgeon

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That’s how I felt when I didn’t go for that girl a few years ago. That feeling lasted up until recently and I don’t know how to deal with the regret. It’s torturing me.

I'm sorry man. Wanting the best for people can suck.
I've tortured myself for years in the mental turbine so i really do relate.
Similar boat, no good advice for you though.
Best of luck
 
Kramer

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I'm sorry man. Wanting the best for people can suck.
I've tortured myself for years in the mental turbine so i really do relate.
Similar boat, no good advice for you though.
Best of luck
So you’ve hated every decision to let them go?
 
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