Just a girl trapped in a psychological prison
- Feb 13, 2020
I’m sick of feeling like this. Like I don’t belong in this world. Like I was born by mistake with defects in my brain. Ive had a few failed attempts at cbt and used to try to think about how my escaping from this world would hurt my family and how selfish I was, but now all I think of is how much hurt I am causing them by being here still. I am a huge burden on them and before anyone says I’m not, I have had to move back in with mum at the age of 26 after losing my job due to my MH. I Can’t contribute anything financially and am I debts myself which isn’t the reason I want to cbt but does add to my feelings of being a burden. I am basically housebound and don’t feel like a very nice person either. I also get very bad thoughts and hear voices telling me to hurt myself but also to hurt others. I would never act upon those of hurting my family I’d like to think, but it really does make me feel like an awful person and I can’t talk to my family about it. I’m sorry for the rant.. it’s just I feel guilty for the hurt and stress I’m putting them through by still being here.