[Venting] Any life events worsened your mental illness?

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Seven

Seven

An empty hollow shell of once I was
Jul 9, 2019
21
40
Hello this is my first time posting I decided to come here because nowhere else would let me vent. I am recently dealing with alot of things that's wearing down on my mental health. I was an internet addict for a year and still recovering to run away from a friends suicide. I felt too guilty and ran onto imageboards and discord to forget. I would eventually get on another game called vr chat and go on there constantly, I met a few people that were really cool but it all fell apart. I met some girl who said she loved me but I knew it was a lie. It turned out she would have splits often which would screw with my mind. Looked at as amazing one day a demon another day. Eventually after enough of that it started to wear down, one day it got bad and she broke it off and still to this day wants me dead I wasn't good and I'm sorry about that but it doesnt feel right. I had the only one good friend I had that cared leave me because of my mental state. My one friend could be involved in a serious grooming case and i feel guilty about that too. I should of stopped him but i didn't. So many things keep happening and i don't ha e much people there. Some of my friends are good but they are too much I got angry last night because they kept bringing up things throughout the whole night about the case joking about it and being obnoxious they apologized but still. It's like I have noone to talk to. The idea of living past 25 is excruciating, I don't think it's ever going to get better. Sorry for ranting but things are getting worse not better and it's all happening at once. I can barley function day to day, mental issues are so bad I don't know what's going on. Any of you had a bunch of bad life events that happend that scared you and started your downfall? Thanks for listening
 
Soul

Soul

vroom vroom
Apr 12, 2019
1,492
3,419
I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed.
Are you kind of stuck in the environment where you are, or could you get away for a while? It sounds like that could help you clear your head some.

To answer your question: Yep! Life events can be real buggers, as you've noticed. x
 
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Seven

Seven

An empty hollow shell of once I was
Jul 9, 2019
21
40
I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed.
Are you kind of stuck in the environment where you are, or could you get away for a while? It sounds like that could help you clear your head some.

To answer your question: Yep! Life events can be real buggers, as you've noticed. x
It's been tough, I constantly have me "ex"(it was online we never met irl) harassing me and shifting between liking and hating me. So I can't escape into the internet like I used to. My place isn't the best, I'm stuck in some sort of mind prison. I tried to get back into real life but it's been a nightmare. I think I messed up my brain pretty bad, i can't do any socializing. To cope with life I abuse drugs, I wish we had a choice to be born. I'd never sign up
 
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