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Anxiety and how to fix it?

shy

shy

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Joined
Aug 23, 2020
Messages
31
I’m not diagnosed, I’m ashamed and afraid. I’ve read a couple of threads on the topic, seems like a lot of people are in the same boat as me.

How do I get better if I’m unable to seek help? Haven’t been to the doctor in years, I’m scared to go for “normal” problems, how am I supposed to tell him that I’m afraid of everyone and everything?

I want to fix myself and my circumstances, it’s just so hard to deal with anxiety by myself. I thought I would get better if I just keep on pushing myself, that’s not the case. I feel like I’m going to crash and burn, if nothing changes.

I would like to avoid meds, but if that’s what it takes to get better, I don’t have a choice. How do I get good enough to even meet with my doctor? What can I do to get better by myself, everything I’ve tried until now turned out to be bullshit!
 
mr.smileysad

mr.smileysad

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Aug 29, 2020
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111
you can never completely fix anxiety I don't know much but based on my experiences with depression I have an idea of how hard it is to function.
if you rlly hate taking meds then try to find something you like/are passionate about for me its music and long boarding. a physical doctor can't help you with anything but pointing you in the direction of proper mental help If you really want to conquer anxiety then you are constantly going to have to step outside of your comfort zone if you don't then it will continue to shrink If you want you can pm me
 
shy

shy

Member
Joined
Aug 23, 2020
Messages
31
you can never completely fix anxiety I don't know much but based on my experiences with depression I have an idea of how hard it is to function.
if you rlly hate taking meds then try to find something you like/are passionate about for me its music and long boarding. a physical doctor can't help you with anything but pointing you in the direction of proper mental help If you really want to conquer anxiety then you are constantly going to have to step outside of your comfort zone if you don't then it will continue to shrink If you want you can pm me
I’ve heard a few “horror stories” about psych meds and it freaks me out, what if it breaks me even more? I’m at a point where that concern isn’t valid anymore, but I can’t bring myself to go to the doctor and obtain any psych meds. So I have no idea what I should do…
 
mr.smileysad

mr.smileysad

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Messages
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I’ve heard a few “horror stories” about psych meds and it freaks me out, what if it breaks me even more? I’m at a point where that concern isn’t valid anymore, but I can’t bring myself to go to the doctor and obtain any psych meds. So I have no idea what I should do…
you can pm me if you want I cant give you any deep advice because I have never had anxiety but never try ssd's I have heard stories of people messed up for life cuz of them
 
mathieu

mathieu

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Jun 5, 2019
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Well at the moment a lot of doctors and psychologists are consulting through phone call or videoconference. Both my GP and psychologist are. So that might make it easier to see them since you can do it from the comfort of your own home.
 
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shy

shy

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Aug 23, 2020
Messages
31
Well at the moment a lot of doctors and psychologists are consulting through phone call or videoconference. Both my GP and psychologist are. So that might make it easier to see them since you can do it from the comfort of your own home.
I’ll have to work up a ton of courage to even make a phone call to the doctor’s office. I have a weird fear of making phone calls/ receiving them. But it might be easier if it isn’t face to face. Pretty sure that it’s in person in my country though ☹
 
mathieu

mathieu

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I’ll have to work up a ton of courage to even make a phone call to the doctor’s office. I have a weird fear of making phone calls/ receiving them. But it might be easier if it isn’t face to face. Pretty sure that it’s in person in my country though ☹
Could you ask someone else to call up and make the appointment for you? Might make it slightly easier.
 
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mr.smileysad

mr.smileysad

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Messages
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I’ll have to work up a ton of courage to even make a phone call to the doctor’s office. I have a weird fear of making phone calls/ receiving them. But it might be easier if it isn’t face to face. Pretty sure that it’s in person in my country though ☹
like I said you're gonna have to try to step out of your comfort zone a lot something that might help you is jaidenanimations on youtube
 
Cherrypea

Cherrypea

I remember when all this will be again
Joined
May 3, 2020
Messages
296
I’ll have to work up a ton of courage to even make a phone call to the doctor’s office. I have a weird fear of making phone calls/ receiving them. But it might be easier if it isn’t face to face. Pretty sure that it’s in person in my country though ☹
I like the way you say you have a weird anxiety, I say that about stuff as well, like I couldn't do anything on zoom during lockdown like my yoga class or speak to my family because I have a weird anxiety about zoom. These things are actually pretty crippling for us aren't they, things that normal people take for granted.
 
mr.smileysad

mr.smileysad

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in some ways anxiety seems worse than depression because anxiety can cause depression which adds a whole new slew of problems in my opinion I think people with anxiety are very brave for living live on nightmare mode
 
shy

shy

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Messages
31
I like the way you say you have a weird anxiety, I say that about stuff as well, like I couldn't do anything on zoom during lockdown like my yoga class or speak to my family because I have a weird anxiety about zoom. These things are actually pretty crippling for us aren't they, things that normal people take for granted.
Another one for me is paying at the supermarket, my hands shake so much I have trouble inserting the card into the machine. I’ve gotten good at hiding it, I resort to self-checkout on days when my anxiety is too high…
 
Cherrypea

Cherrypea

I remember when all this will be again
Joined
May 3, 2020
Messages
296
Another one for me is paying at the supermarket, my hands shake so much I have trouble inserting the card into the machine. I’ve gotten good at hiding it, I resort to self-checkout on days when my anxiety is too high…
I was like that before chip and pin when you had to sign for things, my hand would shake and I couldn't write my signature, it's impossible to explain this to the cashier! Funny to think back then I didn't even know I even had anxiety, I'd always been the same and thought it was normal.
 
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VIBRITANNIA

VIBRITANNIA

lelouch | any pronouns
Joined
Aug 10, 2020
Messages
967
you can't "fix" anxiety. sadly, it'll always be there. what you can do though, is learn how to cope with it better or how to make it more bearable.

and that includes stepping out of your comfort zone. it doesn't have to be something major like making a phone call or going to the store. sorry i don't have more specific advice for you, i'm not the best with these things.

i understand being afraid of making phone calls, though. i nearly cry every time i have to call a taxi service or schedule an appointment.
 
D

Done at Fifty

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Feb 19, 2019
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104
I was apprehensive about taking meds at first and Ideally would like to live without them. They don't fix anxiety - at least not for me - but they definitely take the edge off. It was hard to admit to the doctor that I have severe anxiety but I now feel I can talk freely about it. I hope you have a successful time reaching out for help and your physician is understanding and helpful. A great doctor makes all the difference.
 
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shy

shy

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Aug 23, 2020
Messages
31
I was apprehensive about taking meds at first and Ideally would like to live without them. They don't fix anxiety - at least not for me - but they definitely take the edge off. It was hard to admit to the doctor that I have severe anxiety but I now feel I can talk freely about it. I hope you have a successful time reaching out for help and your physician is understanding and helpful. A great doctor makes all the difference.
Thank you for the reassuring comment, I’m already going through the scenario in my head. I’ve known the doctor for quite some time, a double edged sword, but I hope it makes talking to him a little easier.
 
shy

shy

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Aug 23, 2020
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I’m still unsure how to feel about this, but I just sent off an email to my GP. I wanted to schedule an appointment without having to call, turns out it’s really easy to do it online, they even offer email consultation. I’m a little disappointed in myself, needless to say I chose the easy option. You’re only allowed to write 1000 characters, so the message ended up being messy and incoherent. I think I got the point across however; that I need help. First time I’ve reached out for professional help, I feel a little relieved that I did something. Anxiety isn’t the main reason I’m suicidal, if I could somehow be able to enjoy life more, not being weighted down by constant fear, it’d probably help with recovery though.

Freaking out a little, I hope he takes his time and replies after the weekend. I can’t handle a response too soon....
 
Cherrypea

Cherrypea

I remember when all this will be again
Joined
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296
Well done for reaching out. You don't have to read the reply until you are ready x
 
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E

everydayiloveyou

Member
Joined
Jul 5, 2020
Messages
80
If your username is relevant to your anxiety at all, then the good news is that social anxiety can be managed pretty well. Nearly every mental illness is chronic, so there is no future where you will wake up and not feel nervous or sad about things. But you may eventually reach a point where these fears don't hold you back from living your life.

I have very bad social anxiety. I used to be unable to leave the house or go to the store. It's still very bad, but I've held a job somehow and have no issues with going to the store by myself. I even make doctor's appointments by myself. I like being on the phone since it makes me feel mature lol.

The thing about forcing yourself to face your fears is that oftentimes we don't know the proper way to deal with fears. That's why going out of your comfort zone feels hopeless and embarrassing -- your anxiety tells you that doing these things is dangerous and bound for failure. You have distorted thoughts and perceptions about these situations, and you react accordingly, all because of the anxiety. In therapy, you'd be facing your fears in a safe, structured way. Usually you'll tackle the thoughts behind the fear, then your thoughts about facing it, then how to deal with it in the moment, and finally you'll discuss the outcome. And it'll ne in steps, so rather than your first goal being "go to the store," it may be something like "take out the garbage," or "stand at the stoplight across the street for a full minute."

Meds are helpful if you have lots of physical symptoms and don't respond to traditional therapy. It works for some people and doesn't work for others. Don't rule it out completely, because it could be the thing that really helps your treatment.

Have you tried doing a CBT workbook or something like that? CBT tends to be helpful for anxiety. But getting over anxiety takes a lot of willpower. Before you can take the step of askimg your doctor, you first have to pick up the phone. Then dial their number, and so on. You need to get yourself through each step by identifying which thoughts are productive and realistic, and which are distorted by anxiety and will not help you. Also, if you live in the USA, you probably don't even need to ask your GP about therapy. Just find a therapist using your insurance's search tool, find someone nearby, and give them a call. That eliminates the middleman and you can get a straight answer more quickly.

The longer you let this be, the more it will hurt you. Pick up the phone and take some active steps towards recovery! Only you can do this for yourself, and even if it doesn't turn out perfectly, you'll learn a lot about yourself and at least feel better about talking to doctors.
 
shy

shy

Member
Joined
Aug 23, 2020
Messages
31
If your username is relevant to your anxiety at all, then the good news is that social anxiety can be managed pretty well. Nearly every mental illness is chronic, so there is no future where you will wake up and not feel nervous or sad about things. But you may eventually reach a point where these fears don't hold you back from living your life.

I have very bad social anxiety. I used to be unable to leave the house or go to the store. It's still very bad, but I've held a job somehow and have no issues with going to the store by myself. I even make doctor's appointments by myself. I like being on the phone since it makes me feel mature lol.

The thing about forcing yourself to face your fears is that oftentimes we don't know the proper way to deal with fears. That's why going out of your comfort zone feels hopeless and embarrassing -- your anxiety tells you that doing these things is dangerous and bound for failure. You have distorted thoughts and perceptions about these situations, and you react accordingly, all because of the anxiety. In therapy, you'd be facing your fears in a safe, structured way. Usually you'll tackle the thoughts behind the fear, then your thoughts about facing it, then how to deal with it in the moment, and finally you'll discuss the outcome. And it'll ne in steps, so rather than your first goal being "go to the store," it may be something like "take out the garbage," or "stand at the stoplight across the street for a full minute."

Meds are helpful if you have lots of physical symptoms and don't respond to traditional therapy. It works for some people and doesn't work for others. Don't rule it out completely, because it could be the thing that really helps your treatment.

Have you tried doing a CBT workbook or something like that? CBT tends to be helpful for anxiety. But getting over anxiety takes a lot of willpower. Before you can take the step of askimg your doctor, you first have to pick up the phone. Then dial their number, and so on. You need to get yourself through each step by identifying which thoughts are productive and realistic, and which are distorted by anxiety and will not help you. Also, if you live in the USA, you probably don't even need to ask your GP about therapy. Just find a therapist using your insurance's search tool, find someone nearby, and give them a call. That eliminates the middleman and you can get a straight answer more quickly.

The longer you let this be, the more it will hurt you. Pick up the phone and take some active steps towards recovery! Only you can do this for yourself, and even if it doesn't turn out perfectly, you'll learn a lot about yourself and at least feel better about talking to doctors.
Thank you for the sweet comment. I know what it’s like to not be able to go to the store because of social anxiety. It’s been a rollercoaster for me, one year I’m not able to leave the house, another I can do a lot of things with bearable levels of discomfort. It’s really bad right now, but I know it can be better.

I don’t know if I’m ready to go to therapy at the moment, the way you described it makes me hopeful. I don’t live in the US, things are handled a little different here. I’m still waiting for a response from my GP, he can refer me to therapy. Already a miracle that I even reached out. That’s thanks to all you guys, if I hadn’t posted about it here, I wouldn’t have gone through with it.

I’ve tried the CBT workbook, but I haven’t taken it seriously. The thing that made me somewhat functional was getting prescription glasses. I felt like a different person and it made interacting with people easier, since it wasn’t me but “glasses me”. It sounds stupid, but it really worked. I had my own secret identity, a reverse Clark Kent – Superman situation. It’s been years since, so my superpowers have faded.
 
Chupacabra 44

Chupacabra 44

If boredom were a CTB method, I would be long gone
Joined
Sep 13, 2020
Messages
414
I have social anxiety and general anxiety disorders. I tried two medications in the past -Lexapro (an SSRI antidepressant) and Profonal ( a blood pressure medication - this could help for rapid heart beat, perspiration, etc.) For myself, neither helped me, so I no longer take these.

I discovered that heavy duty cardio really helped my anxiety. I used my ear buds blasting Audioslave on full volume to "get me fired up" to leave the house, when my social anxiety is in over drive. Added benefit is no fear of others trying to talk to you ounce they see you with ear buds. Exercising to exhaustion with intense spin bike seems to be cathartic wirh my anxiety.....kind of like my body and mind were too tired to care about anything afterwards.

More over, I learned through trial and error that I can use the exact perfect consumption of coffee every day to keep my social anxiety at bay. Slippery slope. Too much caffeine and I become manic (bipolar) too little and I can't leave my home.

Over the past six years, these strategies have worked GREAT for me.

Good luck.
 
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