Story A life changing CTB story

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Craig31ldn

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A friend who tried to CTB yesterday told me that when he truly truly truly was faced to with death and truly had the opportunity to die, he experienced some strange and unfathomable feelings . He realized he didn't actually want to CTB and he never could have anticipated the sudden change of heart. He said when you feel like your force to live and things are bad you want to die badly. But when you are finally given the opportunity to go and you think youll believe in your heart youll succeed , the truth rises to the surface. Your heart will reveal the truth. It will tell you whether or not its really your time. Most people who attempt don't succeed for three reasons: because a part of them thiks they'll survive, a part of them wants to survive,or they are impulsively trying to nudify their fustration.

People say well I'll definitely C.T.B on February the January 1st or February the 14th or march the 10th.hmmm really? This is utter bull crap. You can't predict your SI. 85% of succesful suicides aren't well crafted for the medium to long term. A person with a date is perhaps hoping their life gets even worse or their courage grows between now and then to shut their SI off.

They're hoping or having ammunition. An examples like : SN in their cupboard for future use gives them the feeling of control they missed. The power of choice they longed for.

The moral of the story is that thinking or hoping youll CTB is nothing more than a fantasy coping mechanism.
 
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Craig31ldn

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This is an extremely ignorant post. Not to mention the only thing radiating from it is arrogance and judgement.
I understand the urge to C.B.T i feel it all the time. But committing to it is different. I'm not ignorant, i just wanted to share what i learnt.
 
GoodPersonEffed

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The way you wrote the OP, you seemed to have a stance of omniscience, knowing what's in other people's minds, and megalomania, dictating to others what they don't know about themselves.

I could be wrong.

But I feel right, or at least justified to say, "Kindly back off my headspace. Grr and thanks." :)
 
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Most people who attempt don't succeed for three reasons: because a part of them thiks they'll survive, a part of them wants to survive,or they are impulsively trying to nudify their fustration.
What about if they really do want to die but for some reason something goes wrong. You left that one out. Like if someone finds them in the act.
 
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BitterlyAlive

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People say well I'll definitely C.T.B on February the January 1st or February the 14th or march the 10th.hmmm really? This is utter bull crap. You can't predict your SI. 85% of succesful suicides aren't well crafted for the medium to long term. A person with a date is perhaps hoping their life gets even worse or their courage grows between now and then to shut their SI off
Ha. Haha. This is rude as hell. Also, random stats with no source
 
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Not even sure what to make of this? Doesn’t seem to be well thought out or quite coherent enough to get its point across?

Maybe repost but format better and explain better?
 
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Craig31ldn

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I didn't say your here because you want to live
My heart has told me the truth for five years. I believe it. Your post is interesting but does not apply to me and my life.
I didn't say your here because you want to live
 
GoodPersonEffed

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Ha. Haha. This is rude as hell. Also, random stats with no source




I'm not sure, but it feels a bit like...

unnamed.jpg
 
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Craig31ldn

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What im saying is i feel if a person is 100% determined they will tick all boxes making it hard to fail. Like really hard
Having 100% determination is not easy by all means.
 
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This is so wrong. It puts all the blame on the incorrect idea that people are wishy washy about wanting to die. It is way more complicated. It's quite difficult to pull it off for a variety of reasons.

I would have been gone a long time ago if I had the way to do it. The only methods available are far from ideal.
Yes ctb is hard there’s a reason so many people fail and so many people suffer and still can’t do it.
 
Nymph

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Yeah I do think some people can change their mind, SI is strong but some people truly want to give up life but can’t because of SI, I don’t think it has any spiritual meaning or a sign.
 
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If it were easy so many people wouldn't be trying to get to horrible Dignitas and put up with all their bullshit.
 
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Yeah I do think some people can change their mind, SI is strong but some people truly want to give up life but can’t because of SI, I don’t think it has any spiritual meaning or a sign.
Yep, it’s insane how powerful SI is, when I was prepping for SN and mentally practicing how it would go. I’d start gagging. I hope if I find a method that I can do and is painless that SI doesn’t prevent me
If it were easy so many people wouldn't be trying to get to horrible Dignitas and put up with all their bullshit.
Yeh Dignitas and Exit are literal douchebags. They’re taking thousands of dollars from desperate people. Then lots of the time just rejecting them and not even providing the service. Like one person will be accepted and another with the exact same thing will be rejected. I think they just reject people and take their money when they’re full or lazy or something tbh. It’s sketchy
 
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Craig31ldn

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If it were easy so many people wouldn't be trying to get to horrible Dignitas and put up with all their bullshit.
I feel your misunderstanding what i mean by determination. I think you can truly want to die, but not be anywhere near 100% determined.

Its obviously hard. Theres alot of emotions. My post did not indicate that actually i think you really want to live lol.
 
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I like it when people think against the trend. It can be stimulating and brings ideas. I don't see any aggression or attack in the text! And then other opinions are inspiring after all. If the content doesn't suit me, then i just read over it. But i hate attacks and accusations, whether in posts or replies. Please write respectfully everyone.
 
Nymph

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Yep, it’s insane how powerful SI is, when I was prepping for SN and mentally practicing how it would go. I’d start gagging. I hope if I find a method that I can do and is painless that SI doesn’t prevent me
Damn, yeah I predict I’ll get a bunch of panic attacks before I can actually ctb. SN is also my method
 
GoodPersonEffed

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What im saying is i feel if a person is 100% determined they will tick all boxes making it hard to fail. Like really hard

You're really crossing a lot of people's lines here, jumping in their lives and explaining themselves to them. I don't see how you can't know that, but then again, I admit I'm not omniscient. However, just FYI, it's kind of hard to backpedal and 'splain things when you came out the gate like:

hmmm really? This is utter bull crap.
nothing more than a fantasy coping mechanism.

And now you're like, "No, baby, I didn't try to smack you. See, there was a fly on your ear. Here, let me -- oh my bad, it flew away."

'Twould be nice if you'd just let this go, but there's an 85% chance you won't.
 
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I feel your misunderstanding what i mean by determination. I think you can truly want to die, but not be anywhere near 100% determined.

Its obviously hard. Theres alot of emotions. My post did not indicate that actually i think you really want to live lol.
I don’t mean to get into the nitty gritty. But no one can be 100% determined as survival instinct and all instincts to live will be there. So prob like 99% or something
 
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Craig31ldn

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You're really crossing a lot of people's lines here, jumping in their lives and explaining themselves to them. I don't see how you can't know that, but then again, I admit I'm not omniscient. However, just FYI, it's kind of hard to backpedal and 'splain things when you came out the gate like:




And now you're like, "No, baby, I didn't try to hit you. See, there was a fly on your ear. Here, let me -- oh my bad, it flew away."

'Twould be nice if you'd just let this go, but there's an 85% chance you won't.
Every ones entitled to their opinion. No? Why is my post having such an effect on you?
 
degeneratewaste

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A person with a date is perhaps hoping their life gets even worse or their courage grows between now and then to shut their SI off.
not always true and you don't have the right to say that. everyone's circumstances are different. some people that do this are truly at the end of their tether, like a friend I had, but just pick a date that's the best to avoid any major conflicts, then on that date they go because they're truly tired of life. happy for your friend that he realised whats right for him but that doesn't mean you should impose this narrative on people when everyone clearly thinks differently and have different circumstances.
 
Nymph

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Every ones entitled to their opinion. No? Why is my post having such an effect on you?
Everyone can have their opinion but you have to bare the reaction you get. You could preach about nazis and say how amazing they were but youd have to bare the backlash. Interact or ignore, dunno
 
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I admit my level of desperation fluctuates based on my level of pain for each day. And I do love many aspects of life. But my mind is made up and I know each day my condition gets a little worse and I also know what lies ahead for me if I don't ctb.
I don't want to be a helpless vegetable lying in bed waiting for a diaper change, regretting I didn't take action when I still could.
 
imdone1

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Pretty sure me and many others are quite certain on wanting to die. I don’t know what you were trying to do here, but pro-life stuff isn’t welcome. Your post seems very tone-deaf and the only thing you might’ve accomplished by posting this was making people more anxious about death than they already were...not a very smart move, nobody on here needs to be preached to or fear-mongered. And that last line...what? That was pretty insensitive and invalidating.
 
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