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  1. GeorgeJL

    [Venting] A Family Member Threw Out My Powdered Nembutal

    I had brought a 25 gram bottle of nembutal from Johnson before he stopped selling in China. I had it in the fridge in a drawer where only my stuff is at. I told my brother I had it months ago. He respects my desire for a peaceful death, but he thinks that I am crazy doing this when I'm only 37...
  2. xXSarac3nSlay3rXx

    [Venting] Was Going to Lie to Parents in Note to Make Them Feel Better

    I was indoctrinated with this bullshit from day one. I never knew any better. This hell bullshit scared me shitless when I was a fucking kid. For all I know, it’s part of the reason that I’m mentally fucked now. Now I’m watching my little sister go through the same shit. I finally broke myself...
  3. SinisterKid

    [Discussion] My biggest dilemma with CTB

    This is something I have not/did not/do not want to consider, but I have no other real choice. My little one is a sensitive soul. We were at our sons place the other day and after a evening meal with our daughter in law and the little one, our DiL got a few photographs out that were of her own...
  4. mea.culpa

    Overcoming Aversion to CTB

    Quick context: I am 22, have been dealing with depression for about 5 years and suicidal ideations for the last 2 &1/2. At this point, I have overcome [to the best of human ability] the fear of my own death. My primary aversion when dwelling on suicide is the selfishness of the act. (I...
  5. lost in my mind

    [Resource] Ctb without my family finds my body

    I just downloaded an app called “scheduled” and I thought, when I’m about to ctb, I’ll set a massage to my therapist saying “ I’ve killed myself and I don’t want my parents to find me, please call the police and tell them to come over and take me away while preventing my family from seeing...
  6. Can'tStandAnymore

    I can’t stop thinking about my family

    I tried it twice, went to the shelter and waited for a while. But I couldn’t make it. Despite everything that which makes me think that I ‘have to’ be gone in a few day, I can’t stop thinking about my family. I need some advice.
  7. Divine Trinity

    [Discussion] Military Family Poll

    Veterans have one of, if not, the highest suicide rates of any demographic (trans might be higher, idk). And the families don't tend to be too stable either.
  8. Manaaja

    My family is one of the reasons I'll commit suicide

    My whole life has been shit. I was never supposed to be born. Every year is worse and worse. My mother is a narcissistic toxic idiot who has never cared for me. My father is exactly like her, a toxic narcissist. Neither of them have the ability to love me, neither have the ability to change or...
  9. daikon

    Need some advice

    I figure here's the place to ask, since if I ask anyone IRL they'll just tell me not to commit suicide which is...not helpful. I have two suicide-related problems, I guess: 1. Should I stop trying to make new friends and social connections? I so desperately want to be liked and I hate being...
  10. 15dec

    Christmas dilemma

    Does anyone else feel ridiculously guilt about wanting to ctb before Christmas? I want out as soon as possible but things keep happening to get in the way, not having enough time alone is the main one. I’ve had to push my date back to Wednesday at the earliest and even then I don’t know if I’ll...
  11. 15dec

    [Venting] Why do i bother

    Since deciding I was going to ctb I’ve been putting a lot of thought into how it’s going to impact all my loved ones but honestly I don’t know why I bother, I just found out all my friends have made plans without me across all of Christmas or they’ve just uninvited me. I feel like I try really...
  12. 15dec

    Inquests into deaths by ctb

    What will happen in an inquest into the death from suicide? Is there any way I can make the process easier for my loved ones?
  13. 15dec

    [Discussion] Do you worry anyone will ctb because you did?

    It’s been on my mind for a while, so I’m wondering if anyone else feels similarly or if it’s just me being anxious. My dad told me that if I were to commit suicide he would as well. I also worry about a close friend who has his own mental illnesses and previous suicide attempts, because he’s...
  14. 15dec

    [Discussion] Do you wish you could tell your loved ones to make the most of their time with you before you ctb?

    I wish I could tell my loved ones I won’t be here much longer. I know they’ll feel incredibly guilty when I ctb, especially if they feel like they hadn’t spent enough time with me, or made the most of it. It would be amazing if there was some way I could tell them I’ll be gone soon and want to...
  15. 15dec

    [Venting] Heard some bad news

    I had a pretty deep conversation with my dad this morning. I had an argument with my mum and she stormed out and when I was venting to my dad about things she does, like making me feel guilty for feeling depressed and moving/losing my belongings and blaming me for it, he ended up telling me a...
  16. 15dec

    [Story] Cousins ctb

    I've never really been able to talk about this in detail, but this seems like a perfect place to talk about it. Two of my cousins ctb, one before I was born (I’ll call him K) and the other two years ago (I’ll call her A). It bothers me for a lot of reasons and it’s mostly how my family (and the...
  17. S

    [Venting] Family/celebration

    Today my dad had birthday and lot of people came into my house including two 9year old whitch came only to get me off out of my computer to play (they said they coming to see me ofc) and the father's friends and my mother looking at me like a Iam alien or something I don't even know what do they...
  18. anthomaniac

    [Story] What is your favorite memory?

    Since my last failed attempt of CTB, i've found myself rewinding through my memories a lot, often coming across those top good times i've been through, those one that sometimes even make me reconsider my decision (until i remember, the people i had those memories with are no longer with me) so...
  19. eczema

    Being treated like a child due to disability

    i'm autistic, and everyone in my family acts like i'm five. and when i was five they acted like i was a baby. my parents have legal custody of me and don't give me any choice in my own life- i'm hardly ever allowed to be alone at home. people don't talk about important things in front of me, and...
  20. AntiLifeEric

    [Discussion] Water-fasting to make c-ingtb possible

    I've been thinking about how so many people want out of this life, but fear and depression actually keep them, here, because no one wants to die miserable and feeling alone. It's a long shot, but those with the resources could try water fasting to get their bodies cleaner, and get them feeling...