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  1. PariahCarey

    Anti Anxiety substances

    my anxiety has me in a headlock. walking through this world is a fruitless effort. anything i try to do is handicapped by a rush of pure fear. I am completely crippled by it. if you're too afraid to connect with people, you're going to be alone forever. after this you are going to be alone...
  2. Baskol1

    [Discussion] I think my eyesight is getting worse

    I fear that my eyesight is already getting worse. I mean im already nearsighted, but i dont want to become blind, or nearly blind. But it seems my eyesight is getting worse, and actually pretty fast. Does anyone here want to kill themselves because of blindness, or near blindness in the future...
  3. Baskol1

    [Discussion] Anyone else feels old?

    Does anyone else here feel old? Im only 20, but feel physically and mentally much older. But i dont look necessarily older. Or do you look much older than your age too? Do you lack energy too, despite being young? Is this a reason too, why you want to ctb?
  4. irregularheartbeat

    [Venting] I can't breath anymore

    I feel suffocated by life. I'm having a very hard tine coping, everything is just so overwhelming. I can't shake the paranoia that I'm doing everything wrong, that everyone around myself hates me and is angry with me. Pretending to be okay is getting harder, I'm trying to wait to CTB until...
  5. Baskol1

    [Discussion] Whats the worst thing someone said to you?

    Platitudes are often useless, but most of the time well intentioned. But then there are people who treat people with depression or similar illnesses like shit. What is the worst thing someone said to you, because of your problems in life? What was the most hurtful comment youve ever heard?
  6. Baskol1

    [Discussion] Too young argument

    Many people will say youre too young to kill yourself, you have still your while life ahead of you. They are not wrong, but im autistic, so it is unlikely i will be successful in life. Besides, the future of humanity does not look good anyway. Maybe society will soon collapse anyway? The romans...
  7. Baskol1

    Not suicidal anymore

    It is strange, since a few days i dont feel suicidal, anxious, or depressed anymore. It feels great, is this how "normal" people feel? If yes, no wonder so few people actually commit suicide. Does anyone have that too? Sometimes it lasts several months where i dont feel suicidal, anxious or...
  8. Baskol1

    [Discussion] Days where you feel great?

    I have some days where i actually feel happy for some time, unfortunately they are rare and short. But they exist, and thats probably why i havent kill myself already. Because there are days where my anxiety is completely gone, and it feels great. Do you have days where your problems are gone...
  9. Baskol1

    [Discussion] People think im happy

    Do people think of you too as a happy person? Especially people who dont know you too well? In my case its because i have a mask on. I dont want to show people my real feelings, it is too dangerous. To people think too that youre generally a cheerful and happy person?
  10. Baskol1

    [Discussion] Did your fears become true?

    I think the worst thing to happen is when your fears/anxieties become actually true. What anxiety did actually become reality? And how did you deal with that?
  11. Baskol1

    Why am i so scared of going blind?

    I do have horrible aniety of going blind, but i dont know why exactly. And it is making me suicidal, because i think im going blind every moment now. Maybe because im nearsighted? Maybe because it seems my vision is getting worse? Maybe because near blindness would be the last straw to kill myself?
  12. Baskol1

    [Discussion] Is anyone else scared of going blind?

    Is anyone else here scared too of going blind? Its not that rational, but the anxiety is making me very depressed. It may sound ridicolous, but i try to avoid bright sunlight, or generally bright lights, because of fear they could Make me blind. And because im sensitive to light. I use generally...
  13. PariahCarey

    [Venting] More rambling (someone please diagnose me)

    The connection between the simple sublime and my waking reality has been severed. My anxiety keeps me from being a part of society. At the end of highschool I was such a lonley pariah that I would eat lunch in the bathroom alone most days. The fact that the last sentence is a real event in my...
  14. PariahCarey

    [Story] Constantly mourning the loss of my life

    I'm all too used to trying to explain the sharp decline in my body and mind. I'll skip the vivd descriptions of how grotesque my decent into self destruction was. My entire childhood I was one of those short sighted idiots obsessed with his "art" and truly believed it would get me somewhere in...
  15. DrownedOctopus

    [Venting] Plans are paused temporarily

    I’ve started planning, but I haven’t had much in the way of a conversation with my husband about anything for a long while now. Normally he’d be the first to know, but talking to him right now is one sided. I haven’t gotten more than 2 words out of him in over a week. That’s if we talk. It...
  16. DrownedOctopus

    [Help] I feel like I’m dreaming

    I hate the feeling I get when I get extremely anxious with these thoughts that I have. It’s like I’ll go extremely numb and feel nothing, like I’m on the back burner in my own body, like I’m in a dream. I feel like I’m watching someone else take control of me, and that I have no feelings...
  17. gunsforhands

    [Help] Suicide with antidepressants and pills for anxiety?

    Hello! Does anybody here know more about if antidepressants and pills for anxiety disorders does work for cbt? I got them today (in germany). That's what they say on the package: 1) Antidepressant "Fluoxetin" - contains fluoxetine hydrochloride, 20 mg per pill and I got 100 of them. 2)...
  18. lady sea

    [Venting] Am I crazy?

    So I totally just had a panic/anxiety attack while showering. I don't know how to tell my mom that I keep having them more and more frequently or that I'm having them at all (she doesn't know anything). Someone help me find a way to tell her without freaking her out.
  19. Schizotypal

    [Story] This is my life, let me meet you!

    Hey! This is my first post here. I'd like to know why you all is here today. I never had a diagnosis but I know I have very bad anxiety (with really fucking potent insomnia) and became paranoid as the years goes by... And depression only was "visible" for me in my last 3, 4 years, but suicidal...
  20. usernameNotFound

    [Discussion] If health care provided assisted death, would it be better

    I've often thought that the reason I'm suicidal is because I'm worried there will be no way out. But if the option of assisted death was available, I wonder if my anxiety and stress would be reduced - therefore causing me to post-pone my death to a later date (maybe when I'm elderly or...